Nearing the Speed of Stupidity

Okay, a few things, if I may:

1.  Yeah, my faith in human nature is reconfirmed by the number of “It’s Fake!” memes already burning up the Internet tubes.  Well, shit yeah, it’s fake!  How do I know?  ’Cause like the GOP cracker in Oklahoma told us the other day, black guys simply don’t work that hard, and that being the case, how could Obama nail The Thin Bearded Duke in a couple of years when Bush could barely find The Middle East on a map?  Gotta be fake, you know?

2.  Continuing with the meme, if there is anyone who needs a fake dead Saudi criminal mastermind, it’s Osama.  After all, with all the good shit that happened during Bush’s last 4 years, why the hell would he need to fake the death of a mass murderer he promised to get, dead or alive?  Human, please.  Live in the real, okay?

3.  And for all the people who do believe this gangster is dead, but are hot to post the “Obama didn’t get bin Laden; the troops did!”, we get it.  Obama didn’t march in there like a terminator, quip “Hasta la Vista, Bindy!” in Arabic (because as a Secret Muslim^TM, we know the President talks the talk) then put a round right between his eyes–it was done by a team of Navy SEALs.  As Commander and Chief he only signed the checks and pulled the trigger giving them the go on flying into a country without permission, putting feet on the ground and pretty much authorizing multiple assassinations.  And then being ready to take responsibly if it blew up in his face.  You know–something like what Bush never seemed to do.

4.  And lastly, even if Obama had brought Osama’s body back to the U.S. and put it on display in the Rotunda of the Capitol–but not before, on live TV, shiving it a few dozen times, then dousing it with kerosene, setting it aflame and pissing on the burning body to put it out, all the while cackling, “Who’s your Daddy???”–there’s a segment of the population (and you know who you are, birthers scum)–who’d look at the TV and go, “Yeah, well, we faked the Moon landings, too!”

Somehow I’m constantly reminded that a brother just can’t catch a break . . ..

The Chicago Way

Notice a pattern:  pirattes in Somoli take people hostage on a ship, President Obama sends in Navy SEALs to take them out.  Gaddafi is starting shit with his own people, and over the weekend NATO (which is so totally not the U.S.) nearly gets him and kills his son.  And now, the most infamous mass murder ever gets smoked, along with a few others (including one who might be his son) while chillin’ in a walled compound in Abbottabad, Pakistan, by a team of Navy SEALs.

The lesson here: don’t fuck with Chicago.

Everyone know the famous exchange from the movie, The Untouchables, about what will happen to someone when they start screwing with a person from the city of Chicago.  And it’s seemed like this whole week has been an example of what happens when you bring a knife to a fight with our sitting president.

Check it out: birther’s keep talkin’ shit, suddenly there’s the long form and the lecture from the pulpit saying those people are idiots, for the rest of you, we got better things to do.  Then there’s the Washington Correspondence’s Dinner, and Obama rips the birther’s very white knight, Donald Trump, a brand new asshole for the world to see.  So how do you finish up your weekend if you’re President Obama?  Hey, I think I’ll send a special forces team into Pakistan and put a cap in bin Laden’s ass.

So they got his ass, confirmed the kill, and now bin Laden sleeps with the fishes.  And it was done quickly–or as quickly as things can happen when you’re lookin’ for someone who managed to bugger the previous dumbasses in power for 8 years and was “allegedly” receiving help from a government who has been labelled from Day One as our main ally in the War on Terra.

And how long before this gets spinned as another whitewash by the Secret Muslim?  There were some people who were trying it last night, but hey, fuck them.  Right now the haters can take a backseat and shut the hell up, ’cause if they hadn’t noticed they’ve been marginalized.  They’ve been told, “We have more important things going on”, and no shit, dudes, that is the case.

So the Chicago Way seems to be the order of the day.  Where Junior got bored going after a guy he’d said we were going to get, “Dead or Alive” (and lets be honest: a living bin Laden was worth a hell of a lot more to Shrub than a dead one, so why bust your ass going after him?), the current president made it a priority to take the son of a bitch out, and he can put another mark on his big List of Things to Do Before I Leave.

This is the way we do things in Chicago, folk.  We might not look like we are doing anything, but things are never what they seem.  We always take care of the important things, and only take time to acknowledge the insignificant bullshit when we realize we now have time to tear it apart and drench it in piss.

That’s how we roll, folks.  Spin it how you like at your own risk.