Wide Awake but Dreaming

Slip into my thoughts and do watch your step


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Running Three Times as Fast

I was right about yesterday: it was a bust out.  I was sick most of the day; work was a bore; I had to drive home (to the real home) though parts of a snowstorm, and by the time I arrived, I was exhausted.  I fought to stay up until 10, then hit the bed, hit the pillow, hit dreamland.

Nada on zee writing.

I expected that.  Friday’s are shaping up to be a no-go with anything other than blogging.  With the last of sleep I had yesterday, plus a 160 mile drive, plus doing most of that in a snowstorm–it just wears ya.  Take it in stride, though, because I had a wonderful, snowy vision as I drove through my Windmill Farm, which was shrouded in whitish, snowy gloom that made it, in a strange way, look extremely beautiful.  Made me think back to something I’ve writing about before, about a scene for my game character Kerry and his Polar Express partner, Emma, as they fly through a snowstorm, and were they to come upon that point in time and space, they might have been as amazed as I felt in that moment.

But with work and writing and any other extracurricular activity I have on my plate, it’s as my Muse said:  ”You’re constantly going.”  Yep, that’s me, Writer Mom, doing all the things I should be doing while working towards my dream of getting published more and more, and eventually sitting my butt down in front of the computer every day to knock off a couple of thousand words a day, do some editing, then maybe read a little, do some shopping, and get dinner ready, or whatever else I feel like doing.

At the moment it almost feeling a little overwhelming.  In the past I would have run like a frightened punk, throwing my hands up and screaming, “The hell with it!”  That’s how it would have been, because I’ve done that before.  Done it many times.

Now, I just have to bear it out.  I’m right on the edge of something happening; I can feel it.  I know it’s there, but it’s not going to come to me.  It’s not going to knock on my door and say, “Hey, here’s and advance for something I know you’re going to write, have at it!”

It’s going to come to me, but I have to prove that I am worthy.

Today I’ll write.  Today I’ll get into Chapter 9 of Couples Dance and beat its butt into shape.  I’ll deal with the things are that important–which is story, plot, action, and characters–and ignore those things that aren’t . . . like Facebook game request.  Goddamn, but I get a lot of those in a day!

Don’t get me wrong: I loves my Facebook friends.  Social networking is important if you want to be a writer these days. You need the exposure, you need the page . . . hell, you need a blog just so you can let people know you’re alive.

But come home and discover you’ve got a half-dozen request from The Sims Social, and then you go out and answer them . . . then you go into the game with it’s now-what-seem-like-a-dozen-popup ads you have to clear, you find your sim all pissed off and depressed, so you have to run it through all the daily crap it needs, and you have your friends who are going, “Hey Cassidy, I haven’t seen you in a while, where the hell are you?” and you have to entertain them, with one of the options being running around in your underwear . . . jeez, you just wish there were a way you could make your Sim naked and have her run around the house yelling, in Simlish, “Behold my vagina!” while your Simmy friend looks on in horror.

And for some reason this had made me want to listen to The Rain, the Park, and Other Things, by The Cowsills, and hell if I know where that came from.  So come along and give a listen.

We might as well keep each other company while we’re running to keep up.

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