Wide Awake but Dreaming

Slip into my thoughts and do watch your step

The Future Goodbyes

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Before I start, I want to give a shout out to my first hit of the day, from Malatya, Turkey.  Now, I’m guessing the hit probably came from İnönü University, but I don’t really know.  I have to say, they have good taste in my posts–though the title might have thrown them.  Anyway, As-Salāmu `Alaykum, brothers and sisters, and enjoy the site.

So, where are we?  Ah, yeah.  Transporting, and what I was saying would be the Big Sadness.  Third scene of the last chapter, and it was one that was designed to be another goodbye for one of my main characters.  Needless to say, writing it went well.  I had thought I would start loosing it, because when I’d through it out prior to writing I’d gotten pretty weepy.  Yeah, I do that:  sue me.

But when I began writing, there was no weeping, little sadness . . . it was as I usually am when I write, which is totally focused on the writing when I’m writing.  Yes, I had my little distractions, but I was finished after two hours, and I was just a couple of words over 1,800 when the dust settled.  And those were 1,800 very good words, because even though I’d ripped through those words pretty fast, I knew what I was going to say, and I’d known it for a few days.  Hell, I’d know it for over a week, because I’ve played this scene out in my mind time and time.

It all comes easy when you keep seeing it.

I know I’d said I was going to be sad and all, probably even during the writing of the scene, but in the end I wasn’t.  When I write erotica I’ll get asked, “Doesn’t that bother you when you write it?  When you’re getting, you know–turned on all the time?”  Sorry folks, but I rarely get turned on by my own writing while I’m writing.  Writing, as I’ve mentioned, is hard work, and when I’m trying to find the right words for the right mood, it doesn’t matter if I’m talking about quantum physics or the proper technique for using a sex toy on a woman, I gotta stay focused.  Call it my curse.

Not to see it won’t affect me later, particularly when I get around to the edits.  But I was okay after the wordage came out.  Nary a tear.  I hope it isn’t that way when others read it.

The scene was, as you can gather from everything I’ve already written, a goodbye to one of my main characters.  I have a lot of those, it seems–particularly this character.  In this story there’s a couple of goodbyes, more or less.  Or you might say there’s a goodbye followed immediately by a hello, if that makes any sense.  It does make sense when you view it in the context of love, which is why the hellos and goodbyes are occurring.

One of my stories, Echoes, is about this character and their brushes with love as well.  Those brushes didn’t turn out as well as the ones in Transporting, but then it concerned different times and different places.  And when I wrote Echoes, I was in a very different place, emotionally.  A lot of things were happening to me at that time, and it appeared on the page.

Transporting isn’t quite like that, but what came out of me during this writing of this novel was, to say the least, a touch traumatic.  It shows in places, and when I get to editing those parts, I’ll probably do a bit o’ polishing to make them seem a little less rough, because that’s how they came out.  I mean, if you wanna talk tough personal times when you’re trying to write a novel, the first hundred thousand words of Transporting are those times.

The question is going to become, however:  when the novel is said and done, are the goodbyes going to stop?

Am I going to find some new hellos to make it all worth while?

Author: Cassidy Frazee

There's a lot about me you'd probably like to know; if so, ask. You'll be surprised at some of the things I might tell you . . .

4 thoughts on “The Future Goodbyes

  1. Absolutely, you will find new characters and new worlds and new stories to tell. Some will come easier than others, but I don’t believe for a second that your well will run dry. And I don’t think you do either.

    ~P.P.

  2. Raymond, thanks for always liking my blogs. I haven’t actually gotten to the editing/polishing step of writing because, as you may well know, I have yet to finish a novel. I know editing is a B, but I am looking forward to it because for me it will signify an accomplishment many, many years in the making. I know it’s sick to be excited over such a daunting task, but I was proud to read how your emotions translated onto the page. Also, I’d like to know more about your quantum physics or the proper technique for using a sex toy on a woman class. LMBO! You’re blogs always make me smile. Just so you know. :-)

    • Thank you very much, Jennifer. It’s always a pleasure to follow someone else, and see their views on things. And believe me: editing is something I’m still learning. Sometimes the hard way.

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