Last night was the first time in a very long time I fell asleep at the keyboard. Really.
There have been some very long days of late. Up early, busy–more or less-throughout the day, and then home to eat, chat, and write. And by “chat”, I mean talk to people online; I almost never see anyone during the week for face-to-face conversation.
Yesterday was the first day in a long time I didn’t come straight home from work, but rather went out for dinner, then did a little shopping. I wasn’t out of The Undisclosed Location for very long, but long enough that I saw something different.
Of course it was back to The Hole, and I did some chatting, and finally got around to writing while still chatting . . .
That was when I started falling asleep.
It was right in the middle of The Kings’ This Beat Goes On/Switch Into Glide (which, at one time, was the unofficial party song of Chicago) that my eyes began closing, and though I could hear the song on the computer, it was coming from somewhere far away. I came out of it, but there was another moment right after that . . . and then another. And finally I came to the realization that if I continued on, I would fall asleep right at the computer.
So without further ado, I bid goodnight to the person I was speaking with, shut everything the hell down, and headed off to slumbers. At about 10:30.
Of course I was up at 2:30 . . .
I don’t sleep here, not very well. It’s been like that from Day One at The Undisclosed Location; crawl into bed, usually beat to hell, fall asleep, expect to get up right around 2 AM, 3 AM, toss and turn, get up when you realize it’s useless to say in bed any longer. I’ve had this sort of vicious cycling before, many years before, and before you know it, you either adjust, or suffer a psychotic episode.
I’ve had psychotic episodes. Fun in the short term, but they can be a bummer in the long run.
Someone said the other day, “Right now, you have stress you’re not even aware of.” They were talking about something that’s going on in my life, behind the scenes more or less, and while I might not be conscious of it, I’m starting to feel it there. It’s like that voice that whispers at you when you’re trying to break a bad habit, always telling you, “You know you want to, so why not go for it?” Yeah, kid, go away. You’re bothering me.
Even with all that, I managed to write. I only put down 250 words before the crash out, but I got it down. I’ve got Albert and Meredith playing a game, fighting a creature that I pulled out of my butt pretty much as I was writing the passage. If I can stay awake tonight, I’ll probably knock out another thousand or so words, because I have a feeling this passage will fit in well with my wordiness.
Hey, if that’s the way you roll when you’re awake, go with it.