The Silent Howl

July 24, 2012 by Cassidy Frazee | 5 Comments

Today I’m blank.  I really am.

This is one of those mornings where there is nothing coming to the forefront, that I’m not feeling inspired to do something.  Trying to come up with a title–not much luck this morning.  That’s one think I always do:  get a title before I do anything else.  There are a few writers who do that, or at least used to do that.  One of the few stories I didn’t do that with was Kuntilanak; another was Captivate and Control.  Funny thing is, both of those stories are published, while other stuff is languishing in the computer.

Which reminds me:  today I find another publisher to whom I can send Her Demonic Majesty.  It’s been two weeks since I received the rejection notice, and that’s two weeks that the story hasn’t done anything but gather electronic dust.  Can’t let them sit around and do nothing, can we?  After all, if you do, then you find they can’t bedazzle an audience.  They do no one any good if the only people who see them are you, and your close circle of friends.

No, it has to get out there, because, damn it, it’s a good story.  It doesn’t do to keep it locked away.  It will see the light of day.

There was more action on the Diners front as well.  I was intending to get some real time on it last night, but I was phoned, and then I was PMed, and before you knew it, I was pushing 9:30 PM and I needed to do some fast writing.  The funny thing is, I was sort of rambling as bit.  When I think about what I wrote last night, it makes me think that I may have said the same thing a couple of times, only in different ways.  Why?  Distractions.  I get that.  I get that a lot these days.

Part of the issues I have at the moment–the lease is coming up on The Undisclosed Location.  They want to give me a break on another six months, but I’m not ready for that.  I think I’m going to do another month, and then see what happens.  I have to speak with the people after work today, get that into motion . . . then back to this hole to do whatever it is I do at night when I’m not doing anything else.

My mental state isn’t the best, I know that.  I’m writing better when I’m back up to The Real Home.  A lot of it is just the environment.  When I need a break, I can always come downstairs and talk with someone, or flip on the TV, or just go take a nap if I need it.  Here, I can’t do that.  There is no getting away from what I have.  As my Muse might say, “It is what it is.”

It’s solitary, is what it is.  But when I came here, I knew it would be.  I’ve done a lot here, there is no hiding that.

But I can do more.

It’s time to move forward.