Today is not the sort of day one wants to wake up for. It’s cold, and we’re expecting a winter storm tomorrow. My right ear seems to have become infected, and it’s bad enough that I can’t put my earbud in since the canal appears to have swollen. The room is cold, and my cold, while nearly gone, is forcing me to clear out whatever I have in my lungs on a pretty regular schedule.
So here I am, Little Miss Hellspawn, thinking about what I’m going to write, the people whose lives I’m going to destroy, the souls I’m going to drag screaming off to my realm . . . just kidding about those last two, because, as I said, I’m total pussycat. Look at those pretty eyes: are those the eyes of someone who’d run you through with one of her shoulder spikes?
I was playing with making pictures like the one at right, while chatting with a friend. I felt a bit uninspired for writing, in part because I’m finding it hard to type for long periods of time when I’m coughing up a hurricane, but in part because I know what I have to write, and my mind is saying, “You need to be in a good place when you write this next scene.”
Suggestive Amusements has reached a point where things will begin going sideways, where events that people didn’t know could happy will, and some of what’s coming isn’t going to be good. I’m starting with that now, and while the first couple of thousand words came pretty easy, I’m feeling the hesitation to begin writing what’s next because those same events are a little to close to my own experiences . . .
I’ve been in situations at work where I’ve had to sit in an office and hear about how I’ve been . . . lacking. Where I’ve been told I don’t handle interaction with users well. Where I’ve been told–well, that my services were no longer required. It’s never a good feeling, and after twenty-five plus years of dealing with that crap, it’s something I’d like to put behind me.
Except you never really put these things behind you, right? You remember ever slight from every person you ever worked with, particularly if they occupied a position high enough up the hierarchy that their action, no matter how misinformed or idiotic, will not only affect your position, but possibly your life.
I’ve found myself in the position of being surprised by a change that I never saw coming, and this hasn’t been a one time event: I can name at least three times when it’s happened. It’s never been good, and one time pretty much changed me in ways I can’t get into without writing a story about it.
Which, in a way, is what I’m doing with Suggestive Amusements. Some of what is happening to Keith has happened to me, and his reactions . . . okay, so he’ll handle things a little differently then I did, but that’s why one takes their experience and sometimes writes it into a story.
Then again, I am making everything up. Aren’t I?