Bugged by Things Undone

Here I am, said I wasn’t going to do anything on my old novel–which is all set up in Scrivener and ready to be edited–and all of a sudden I’ve got this feeling I need to do something.

It’s like this: I’ve set the time frame to do the edits on my NaNo Novel for next week, so at the moment I’m not working on that.  At the same time I’d set this last week aside to get my oldest, my very first novel, set up in Scrivener, and considering how big the damn thing was I figured it was going to take some time to complete.

Not so.

After three days I’d finished the retro fit and completed my project–creating parts, chapters, and scenes, and given them all a nice little time line so I could see where everything was suppose to be.

(Little side note: a big part of this novel involves time travel, and I ended one chapter with a “You need to come see this” section that was suppose to relate to something completely different than what the reader might expect.  I figured out the date that incident occurred, then set everyone back to the day when they’d left on their trip, figured out how much time they needed to set up a reason for returning, and when they showed up for the “You need to come see this” moment–that day was the same day they re-left to return.  Chalk it up to Wibbly-Wobbly Timey-Wimey . . . stuff.)

So everything is just peachy, right?

Wrong!

When I got to the last scene in the last chapter, I realized that I’d never finished the damn thing.  There it was, staring back at me, my main characters ready to do something . . . and I left them to hang.  Nothing was happening.

And suddenly I was filled with this sense that I needed to set them right.

It’s weird, though: it’s not only the sense that I should finish it, but there’s also the sense that I left this point with a bad feeling.  This novel has left me very conflicted; it’s been a part of me since I was in my early 30’s, and I have a real love-hate relationship with it, and with the characters.  So the sense that if I do add to that last chapter I’m going to have to finish this–yeah, it’s there.

It’s the feeling that I will need to bring this to a conclusion should I add one more word.

But as someone very close to me said, “You need to finish this.  You need to have people see it.”

And they’re right.  But then, they always are.

I only need listen to them and put my doubts away.