Windmills Keep on Turning

First off, have to express my happiness–and my overflowing geekness–to find out Curiosity landed as planned.  Seven minutes of terror, or hell, however you want to view it, the people who put the landing together succeeded as they expected.  Science and technology:  it works.

Late run to The Undisclosed Location yesterday.  I was a bit of state yesterday, and not looking forward to returning to the work hole.  So off I set as the sun was setting.

I didn’t work on Diners at the Memory’s End because I was working on another story, and found I simply didn’t have any time to get into my current work in progress.  With Part Fifteen out of the way, Part Sixteen will be entered this evening–that didn’t sound right, did it?  This scene shouldn’t be long; it may not go longer than six, seven hundred words.  If it does run more than a thousand, there’s a good chance I’m rambling.

So it was not only a late run to the Location, but a high speed one.  There wasn’t a great deal of traffic, so setting the cruse control to 80, 85 mph, and letting the vehicle run wasn’t a problem.

I haven’t done a night run in a while.  Back in the winter it was a common occurrence, but with spring, and the time change, I’ve been doing my traveling in the daylight.  So I was getting a bit of driving with the sun low, then into magic hour . . . and then, there was the encroaching gloom–just as I was hitting the windmill farm.

This is my favorite part of the trip, coming and going.  I like the farm, but I can’t explain why.  Maybe the windmills look so peaceful as their blades turn in the breeze.  And with the gloom settling in over the farm, the red warning lights atop each windmill was on and blinking.

Peaceful.  It makes you want to get off the interstate, hit a side road, and park well away from the traffic to watch them spin.

As I was motoring through the farm, the funk I’d felt for the last hour melted away.  Maybe it was born on the wind, maybe not, but it vanished over the course of about five minutes.  Maybe because it was epiphany time once more.  Maybe it was because I was saying affirmations that I need to hear every so often.

Simply put, I get hung up on bullshit.  I spend way too much time worrying about how others think of me.  I beat myself down for being stupid when it’s not my fault.  I let it gnaw away inside, like some chest buster that isn’t ready to leave the nest.

In the end of all that, I gain no satisfaction, no pleasure–and damn sure no happiness.  Therein lies the problem:  if I’m not keeping myself happy, what’s the point?  If you go through your life pleasing everyone else, are you pleasing yourself?

Right now, I’m tired, I’m sleepy, and I’m having trouble thinking.  But I know I’m done neglecting myself.

Maybe some shopping is in order.  I can always use new shoes . . .