Slowing to Subluminal

Despite my complaints in yesterday’s post, I managed a little time at GenCon yesterday.  I didn’t get into anything, nor enter the dealer’s room, but just walking around, seeing people, interacting with friends–yeah, that did the trick.  I exited my semi-funk, when out with friends for dinner, did the human contact thing once more.

That, more than anything, put me in a great frame of mind, even if it did mean walking back to my car in the rain.  Hey, what’s a little wetness, huh?

This week I promised I’d take things easy.  I knew I might be busy, so I didn’t want to push things with a lot of extra work.  I’ve continued blogging, but I decided that, after finishing Diners, I’d go easy.  I might edit, or I might just read and leave the editing for next week.

Last night, and the night before, it’s been more reading and trying to relax, more than anything else.  I spent time catching up on some games–yeah, I’m a gamer, so I was reading supplements.  After that I’d play a game.  Maybe read a little more . . .

It didn’t take long to realize that I was bored.

There was even a point last night, about 9 PM, when I looked around and said, “What the hell am I gonna do?”  I’d decided to stay away from writing, but I realized that, for the last year, most of my evenings had been taken up with writing, and now . . . nothing.

No words on the screen in front of me.  No Scrivener.  No story.

I missed it all.

I didn’t pull out something to edit, though, but instead read some more.  But the notion hit me hard:  I’ve been writing for a long time, and when I’m not doing it, I notice it.  While I might be so tired that I don’t feel like doing it, I was still doing it.

That’s not there this week.  In it’s place there is a whole lot of nothing, and that nothing isn’t doing anything for me.  Not like back in the days when I was taking about 450mg of antidepressants and mood stabilizers.  Back then I could sit at the computer and just do little clicks on things here and there, and it wasn’t a problem.  Of course not:  I was zombied out then.

I’m not these days.

I have my creativity back, and there is the need to exercise it as much as possible.  Even if it’s just an edit, I need to do something.  I may bitch about the work, but it’s what I want.  There are tales to tell, and I need to tell them.

For a while now, I’ve felt like one of those ships in my stories, zipping along at FTL speeds.  I’ve now dropped out of hyper-light space, and I’m moving along at normal velocities–

It sucks.  I don’t like this.

It’s time to re-engage the hyperdrive.  Maybe not tonight, because I feel tonight’s drive home may be brutal, but tomorrow is another day, and I have things to do.

Set that course and get going, dude.  Because, before you know it, tomorrow is yesterday.

Hey, that sounds like a great title for a story!