Despite my complaints in yesterday’s post, I managed a little time at GenCon yesterday. I didn’t get into anything, nor enter the dealer’s room, but just walking around, seeing people, interacting with friends–yeah, that did the trick. I exited my semi-funk, when out with friends for dinner, did the human contact thing once more.
That, more than anything, put me in a great frame of mind, even if it did mean walking back to my car in the rain. Hey, what’s a little wetness, huh?
This week I promised I’d take things easy. I knew I might be busy, so I didn’t want to push things with a lot of extra work. I’ve continued blogging, but I decided that, after finishing Diners, I’d go easy. I might edit, or I might just read and leave the editing for next week.
Last night, and the night before, it’s been more reading and trying to relax, more than anything else. I spent time catching up on some games–yeah, I’m a gamer, so I was reading supplements. After that I’d play a game. Maybe read a little more . . .
It didn’t take long to realize that I was bored.
There was even a point last night, about 9 PM, when I looked around and said, “What the hell am I gonna do?” I’d decided to stay away from writing, but I realized that, for the last year, most of my evenings had been taken up with writing, and now . . . nothing.
No words on the screen in front of me. No Scrivener. No story.
I missed it all.
I didn’t pull out something to edit, though, but instead read some more. But the notion hit me hard: I’ve been writing for a long time, and when I’m not doing it, I notice it. While I might be so tired that I don’t feel like doing it, I was still doing it.
That’s not there this week. In it’s place there is a whole lot of nothing, and that nothing isn’t doing anything for me. Not like back in the days when I was taking about 450mg of antidepressants and mood stabilizers. Back then I could sit at the computer and just do little clicks on things here and there, and it wasn’t a problem. Of course not: I was zombied out then.
I’m not these days.
I have my creativity back, and there is the need to exercise it as much as possible. Even if it’s just an edit, I need to do something. I may bitch about the work, but it’s what I want. There are tales to tell, and I need to tell them.
For a while now, I’ve felt like one of those ships in my stories, zipping along at FTL speeds. I’ve now dropped out of hyper-light space, and I’m moving along at normal velocities–
It sucks. I don’t like this.
It’s time to re-engage the hyperdrive. Maybe not tonight, because I feel tonight’s drive home may be brutal, but tomorrow is another day, and I have things to do.
Set that course and get going, dude. Because, before you know it, tomorrow is yesterday.
Hey, that sounds like a great title for a story!