A note first thing: this is post 481, so if you do the math, it seems that in something like two-and-a-half weeks, I’ll be hitting post five hundred. That means what, exactly? Well, we’ll see. I’ve usually posted something important at different levels of posting awesomeness, and I’m fairly certain I’ll do something at post five hundred.
Maybe I’ll give something away–like my soul! Any takers?
I’ve been up for a while. As I write this, it’s 10:30, and that makes it four hours since I crawled out of bed. The mood when I got up? Not good. I need to return to The Undisclosed Location today, and I’m feeling like I have a weight on my shoulders I can’t lose. There is not one ounce of enthusiasm for returning–not one.
That’s kept me a little down, and what do I do when I’m down? That’s right: I read. Mostly, I’ve been reading about space weapons.
Now, why would I do that? For some reason I find comfort in the numbers, the math behind why things go boom. It might also have something to do with my dream last night, which found me in a real-life version of Breaking Bad, and I was in Mexico buying machineguns and meth cooking supplies for Mr. Heisenberg. Really, it doesn’t get any more messed up than that, particularly when I was shooting some punk on the street with an MP-5 because he was giving me shit about something.
It seems pretty logical, then, that I started looking at information about things like nukes in space, and kinetic kill weapons, and missiles, and just about anything else that has to do with blowing things up and space, and how I might apply that information to a story, any story.
For some reason, working the information around in my mind, and seeing how I could work it into a story, has made me feel better. Call me strange, call me unusual, but research gets me going some times. I think it’s because my mind is working, thinking, acting, and I’m not sitting here like a lump mumbling, “Damn, I’m bored. I wish I had something to do.”
Someone told me earlier this morning that I need a hobby. I did have a hobby: it was gaming. But I don’t do a lot of that these days–I don’t do it period, actually. Gaming seems to have passed me by these days, only because I don’t have a group to work with anymore, and the ones that are out there would rather sing and dance like happy elves.
Did all this research lead to anything? No, not actually. As much as I might have wanted to come up with another idea, I didn’t get one. Not that I needed it, because I’ve got ideas galore right now, and another would have only taken up more room on the hard drive.
But one never knows where it might lead. It’s there in my head, and it’s waiting for something to happen.
It’s only a matter of time before it crawls out of a hole and begins dancing about.