Locking Down the Ego

To say yesterday had its ups and downs would be an understatement.

At least the down came quickly after leaving work.  While driving home, on a four-lane, one-way street, some clown in the right-most lane decided he had to go to the parking lot on the left side of the road, and so came to a complete stop, then turned slowly across three lanes to reach his destination.

He did this right in front of me.

Fortunately, my anti-lock brakes locked, and I missed the front of his PT Cruiser–aka, The Hipster Wagon–by a foot, maybe two.  He’s lucky I was awake yesterday, ’cause if it had been Monday afternoon, when I was suffering from sleep deprivation, he’d have either lost the front end of his car, or he’d be sleeping off a dirt nap.

(And just to prove this isn’t an isolated case, while making a right turn from a road that has two turning lanes, the woman on my right slid right across the front of my car, missing me by inches, and ended up in the lane on my left.  Guess it was asking too much for her to have made the turn from my lane.  One day I’m going to paint, “Deathmoble!” on the sides of my car, and start taking these losers out.)

Enough of this crap:  onto the writing.

The goal was to edit Chapter Two and Three of Her Demonic Majesty, and I hit Chapter Two first, because it was the larger of the two.  I started into it, giving it a careful read, and . . . damn, Sam.  I found mistakes.  I found clumsy sentences.  I found things that didn’t really make sense.

I wasn’t happy that I’d not only written this, but that I’ve edited it a couple of times, and submitted it for publication.  What I found was, frankly, embarrassing.  Because this is not how I want to work.

It would have been easy to say, “Wow, I suck!  I should just give up now,” and began looking for strange porn.  But I didn’t.  I slapped my ego and got into fixing the chapter, and ninety minutes later, Chapter Two was a touch lighter of words, and looking a lot better.

Chapter Three wasn’t as bad; it only needed a little work.  It also needed things added to it, and those additions went into place.  When I was finished, some things were less confusing, and words that weren’t needed had vanished.

Two thing kept me going through what could have been a bit of a meltdown.  One, my Muse once told me, “Put your ego in check.  Do you want this to be good, or do you want this to be the best?”  That got me onto another line of thought that I’d seen a few days back.  Don’t know if it was a “real” quote, or something that someone cobbled together from another source.  But the quote was to the point:


Amateurs talk about doing things; Professionals do them.”


So I discovered my chapter was a touch on the sucky side.  Rather than piss and moan, I fixed it.  As I will fix the others that need fixing.

Because I want to send off the best work I can to Harper Voyager.

And it’s time to do.