Oh, you miserable day. Why does thou torment me so much?
Actually, it’s not this day; this day is just getting started, and who knows what it’s got lying in wait for me? No, no: I’m talking about yesterday. Well, not just yesterday–last night.
My dreams. You killed me with such strangeness.
Don’t ask me how I was back in college without actually taking any college courses, because that’s the way dreams work. They aren’t suppose to always make sense, but here I was, hanging with friends, driving at breakneck speeds down a country road–like that have here in Indiana by the butt-loads–the windows rolled down, the radio cranked up, the wind whipping everywhere.
And like that–it all went to hell.
Somehow we drove up a huge ramp and launched out into empty space–as in, we were flying over everything. Then the ground dropped away, and there was about a two hundred foot fall for us to enjoy in what seemed like very slow motion. You know, you’re falling, but the fall is taking forever. I even expected my life to flash before whatever was functioning as eyes, but apparently it’s too boring for even a quick death scroll.
Then, we hit bottom . . . and everything was fine. Seriously. It was as if we’d just suffered a minor fender bender; the car wasn’t even damaged that badly. We just stumbled out of the car in shock and collapse wherever we though was a good spot.
That’s when it happened . . .
One of the passengers in this flying death machine was a pretty cute redhead, and as she grew near me, I reached out and gave her a kiss. Not just a kiss, but one of those, “We survived death; lets make babies!” kiss. I felt everything: the touch, the warmth, the tenderness, the excitement . . . I don’t normally feel things in a dream, save for terror or sadness, but this was so nice, so wonderful–
Of course, that meant it also had to go to hell.
Once we all found our way back to whatever crazy ass campus where we stayed–which was so cool it had an indoor baseball field–and no sooner we were back in a library, one where we were the only people there, the girl I kissed came up to me, all pissed to hell and screaming, telling me that I didn’t mean it, that I’d only kissed her because–and here she waves a paper at me–it was all for an assignment! Apparently there was something on the paper about finding life affirmations and stuff like that, but that’s not important: the woman I’d kiss was totally burned with me ’cause, when I kissed her after surviving freakin’ death, I didn’t mean it!
Which mean I wasn’t getting any others.
The dream went into a tailspin quickly after that, mostly because I really did want another kiss. It’s been a long time since I’ve kissed in real life, and the dream one was beautiful. So to be told that I didn’t mean it, no chance you’re getting another one, loser, really burned me hard. Not only that, but I lost my car in the snow–which popped up overnight during the summer–and then I couldn’t find my shoes . . .
Man, when things go to hell in my dreams, they go to hell.
Oh, I’ll edit today and put things behind me. Forget the cute girl who said I didn’t mean my kiss when I totally did. Forget I cheated death again.
I wonder what the hell I’m gonna get thrown at me tonight?