Plummeting Towards Your Life

Do you have the soundtrack of your writing from last night, Cassie?  Why, I most certainly do.  Sure, I threw in a few individual songs before I really got started, but the real stuff was Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots and At War With the Mystics, both by The Flaming Lips.  Just the sort of stuff needed for some heavy writing, yeah?

One evaluation down, another in the process.  I had trouble getting started for one reason or another last night.  I feel the need to get out and do something besides sit, but it’s hard to do these days.  I’ve got two jobs going on, and that takes up a lot of my time.  Seriously, once NaNo is out of the way–or maybe even before that–I’m going to set up some free time and find something to do.  I miss my little side trips off to places around The Burg, and I need more of that.  Otherwise you fall into the rut, and once you’re in the rut, you have a hell of a time getting out.

Writing, however:  oh, I think I was on it last night once I got into my prose.  For the first couple of hundred words there didn’t seem to be much happening, but then I just sorta burst out and got things done.  For the first time in a while I was clicking with the music, and by the time I took a break at the end of Yoshimi–which is forty-seven minutes long, by the way–I had nine hundred and fifty words down.  That’s a pretty good run for me.  I let my back get better for about thirty-five minutes, then put on the second record and started writing once more.  Fifty-five minute later I’d written another thousand words–not bad at all, if I may say.

Tonight, however:  I know I have a scene coming up that’s going to be emotional.  I know it because I’ve thought about it many times, and I’m about to jump right into the heavy stuff based upon where I left off in the scene.  Gotta find some happy music, you know?  Or at least something that’s going to drive me to write straight through the hard stuff, because it’s a good scene, and I want to do it right.  I know I’ll do it right:  it’s just a question of how many tears I have to fight through to get there?

I wouldn’t have it any other way.  I’ve hit stretches in books where the tears flowed freely as I wrote, and I know it’ll happen again.  It’s not because I’ve done something bad to a character, but because I’m touching on something inside my own life when I’m writing a scene, and it can hurt.  But you do it because–hey, writing!  That’s what you want, to have you’re feeling out there on the page for all to see.  You need it, you want it, you have it.

That’s why you’re a writer.  Not because you got voices in your head–because, if you do, you wanna go with meds–but because you want everyone to see all those hurts you have.  You open up your heart and you let it drip out onto the paper.

And in the end you call it a story and move on to the next one.

Lots of fun, isn’t it?

Daily word count:  1,950.  Total word count:  33,277.