The Tears of Past Chapters

Let’s get the soundtracks out of the way, shall we?  First, I finished Monster, then went into Don’t Look Back, by Boston and City to City, by Gerry Rafferty, and finally ended the night with Eye in the Sky, by (placing little pinkie in the corner of the mouth) The Alan Parsons Project.  Good tunes, good times.

I did a lot last night.  Really, at first glance it might not look like it, but it was.  I finished one big scene, maybe the biggest written so far–let me check . . . yeah, it is.  Bigger by about a thousand words.

The scenes were both filled with tears.  I don’t have too many characters cry, because who likes to cry?  Not me, I’ll tell you.  But it does happen, particularly when you’re trying to explain some deep concepts to an emotionally stunted eleven year old boy, and they start loosing it over something they see as far more important to them.  It resulted in crying, and some more crying, and eventually you’re crying in front of someone you didn’t want to cry in front of and you do your best to firm up and get a grip upon yourself.

I thought I was going to cry while writing this last night.  I fully expected it, because I’ve written stuff like this before and the tears started flowing pretty readily.  Not the characters, I should mention, but mine.  Even during the day, when I was going over this scene in my head, I hit a couple of moments when I began crying because the words hit me in a certain way.

I expected the worst, but when I got to the part that I imagined were going to cause emotional distress, it didn’t come.  Sure, there was a little sadness, and that’s expected at times, but no river of salty water streaming down my cheeks.  No, I left that for my character.  In my case I was simply too damn focused on getting the scene right.

Part of that, I believe, came from thinking about the scene earlier.  By the time I reached writing time, I was pretty much cried out and I just wanted to write.  I’ve had that happen before as well, in another way:  some people, after reading my erotica, would say, “Oh, man, you must have gotten so turned on writing that!”  Um, no.  I didn’t have time to get turned on, because I was writing.  Getting turned on is for the amateurs, and I’m a professional.  Or so I imagine.

Sometime today I expect to reach the three-quarter point in this year’s NaNo experience.  Forty thousand isn’t that far away, and after I do my running around this morning, I’m going to crack off a couple of scenes that I figure will put me over.  After that it’s another thirteen and a half thousand words, and I can get another badge for meeting my November goals.

I’ll close out that chapter and move on to the next.

Because that’s what we do, right?

Daily word count:  2,863.  Total word count:  38,093.