Into each life comes a little depression now and then–or, if you’re me, it sort of hangs around waiting for me to leave the front door cracked a bit so it can come stomping in and make itself at home. That’s how yesterday afternoon was: I’d finished my blog post, I’d finished laundry, and I was going to sit and work on an article . . . and I couldn’t. The old depression had kicked in and I didn’t feel like doing much of that. I also didn’t feel like watching TV, either, because I’d sit and watch a couple of my favorite movies, The Bridge on the River Kwai and Laurence of Arabia, and after fifteen, twenty minutes of sitting I had to get up and do something else.
Part of it is this feeling of wanting to “do something”, to have other things going on besides sitting in the apartment and staring at the walls. Money has been tight of late, and that cuts down on getting out, but there’s also this feeling of isolation I’m experiencing. Now that I’m not writing–or at least actively working on a story–the old feeling of sameness and routine has once more taken over, and it sucks. It sucks bad.
I really need something new in my life.
Tonight I’ll start in on some editing. I have something that’s been sitting in my queue for a bit and I’ll jump into that and work out getting it out, but I’ve also the inclination to get back into some of slush pile as well. I have tons of stuff waiting, and there’s so much editing to do, it’s hard to know where to begin. Some of my shorter things is really the best jumping off point, but I have a couple of novels that need this attention as well.
It would be a bit easier if I had one of the witches from my Salem school to come and help me. Maybe they could cook up something that would help get out of these feelings–though we know from experience that my Professor Sladen doesn’t like cauldrons, and she’d probably go after a poor witch with her magical Super Soaker if she caught them using one to mix up a product.
Editing is a good thing to get into. I have too much stuff laying about, and it’s a great way to get out the old. Plus . . . I’m considering setting up an account on Durotrop and sending out stories for sale this time, and not just working towards self-publishing. It’s great experience to get rejection slips, but even greater experience if you make the sale. A full year’s subscription there is $50, and one could blow that much at Starbucks in a week, so if it opens up a new beginning for my stories, it’s well worth the money.
If I’m going to find myself in a routine, it may as well be one that I enjoy.