In the Chunnel of Love

After what seemed like a very long day–finally I managed to get down to writing.  There wasn’t a great deal going on, mostly because part of my “at home” time was taken up speaking with my therapist, and then digesting what was said afterwards.

In time, however, I managed to get into writing.  By the time the writing came around my energy levels were low, but I felt pretty good about what I was doing.  As long as I’m not crashing at the keyboard, it’s a good writing night.

One of the reasons I’ve been going slow through this scene–the trip through Chunnel on the way to Amsterdam–is that the mood of the piece has changed.  In the snapshot version Kerry was far more aware of what was happening in the train–which was really a holdover from his trip around London.  He isn’t like that, though.  Somewhere my characterization of him got away, and he became more of a leader than quite follower.  So on the train he’s a little more confused about things; he’s not sure what’s all happening with Annie, and the few times Alica speaks to him just sorta goes over his head.

Like this:

 

(Excerpt from The Foundation Chronicles, Book One: A For Advanced, copyright 2013, 2014, by Cassidy Frazee)

Kerry sat in the aisle seat with Collin to his left. Annie sat across from Kerry, and Alica was to her right. Collin didn’t care about anything outside the window; he was lost in the football magazine he’d picked up at the station before they boarded. Alica watched the scenery flash by, alternating between being bored and looking half-angry.

Then there was Annie—

Yesterday’s tour of London had been fantastic. During last night’s dinner it was all he could do to keep from going on about it; he only spoke about the day trip after Ms. Rutherford asked Annie and him about their day. He tried not to gush, but it was difficult not to mention all the places Annie had taken him, and the things they’d done. It annoyed Collin and Alica to no end, but Kerry couldn’t help how happy he’d felt—

Though he didn’t say it at the table, it had been was one of the best days of his life.

What had made everything so fantastic was Annie just being there—like she was now.

Sitting there looking at him . . .

She was quite, almost never speaking. She sat with hands folded in her lap and ankles crossed. Every so often she’d glance out the window or down the aisle, but for almost the entire time since leaving St. Pancras she’d sat looking straight ahead.

He didn’t have proof, but he knew she was looking right at him.

It didn’t make him nervous, but it did make him wonder why. She was friendly, that much was true: since meeting her in the book store she’d been extremely nice to him, and always sat next to him, on his left, when they were eating. The fact she’s asked him to join here on her walked tour proved she trusted him, and thought of him as a friend.

Still, though—what was she doing? Why was she staring at him? Was there something she wanted to talk about, but didn’t know how to ask?

He finally turned away from the window. “Annie?”

Her expression didn’t change. “Yes?”

“Is there something you wanna talk about?”

The right side of her mouth twisted up for a moment. “No.”

Kerry nodded slowly. “Okay.” He returned to looking out the window. He casts a couple of quick glances out of the corner of his eye and . . .

He quickly turned his head, catching her as she shifted her gaze towards her hands. “What?”

“What?”

“What are you doing?”

Annie tilted her head to one side. “Nothing.” The word came out as a soft coo encased in her accent. “Is something wrong?”

“I don’t know . . . you’re looking at me.”

“Am I?”

What is going on? Now Kerry was majorly confused. Why is she acting so strange? He shook his head. “You use a lot of questions to answer questions.”

“Do I?” Annie chuckled while here face remained as impassive as ever. The only thing that seemed to change was the glint in her eye—

Alica turned away from the window rolling her eyes. “Oi, you two.”

Kerry snorted. “Oi, yourself.”

“She’s playing with you, Malibey.”

He considered her words for a moment. “You know this how?”

She drew one leg up and pulled her foot up onto the chair. “You’re a bit of a thick git, aren’t you?”

Annie only half-looked in Alica’s direction. “That’s not a nice thing to say.”

Alica giggled dryly. “Don’t worry; I ain’t trying to hurt the poor lad.” She wiggled her eyebrows as she shot a smile Kerry’s way.

 

Girls:  one day they’re showing you around London, the next they just stare at you without saying anything.  Who knows what’s going on inside their heads?

Certainly not Kerry.

The most interesting note I left in the story should be reached tonight.  Kerry’s hearing isn’t too great, and he starts to wonder about something Ms. Rutherford said–

Of course both words start with "D", so it's easy to misunderstand . . .

Of course both words start with “D”, so it’s easy to misunderstand . . .

Yeah, I’ll get to that tonight.  It’s about time to get this train into the station so I can rewrite something else.