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The Second Second Breakfast Run

All the tails of misery and pain are out of the way, or at least as much as possible for now.  Now it’s back to the regularly scheduled events of the week, which are normally fairly boring and easy going.

That means it’s time to get back to editing and one of my favorite couple of scenes in the book.

The last two days were spent getting into the scene I titled Second Breakfast way back in April, 2014, pretty much as a way of venting some frustration.  This all happened during a discussion with someone close to me who started complaining that two scene earlier, when Kerry first met Ms. Rutherford for breakfast she decided to have something to eat as well, and  they began questioning whether or not she’d had breakfast with the other kids, and if so, how could she eat again so soon?  Personally I felt it was really kind of a ridiculous thing to hang on, but it ended up being forty minutes of back and forth before I finally said I’d change the scene.

(There was also a forty-five minute discussion over the used of the metric system versus the imperial system for measurements throughout the story–her argument was that Americans wouldn’t read the book because they didn’t understand the system, while my argument was that The Foundation couldn’t call themselves a “world wind organization” if they were using a measuring system used in only three countries in the world–and that argument I one simply because it’s my story.  Nener, nener, nener.)

But this is really the first scene where we hear the terms “Legacy” and “Normal” with a Big Freakin’ N, and if you’re playing attention you realize there’s something going on with this Ms. Rutherford woman, and that Annie isn’t quite like the other kids.  And this is the beginning of the first time Annie began making her play for The Kid From Cardiff, and a question was asked:

The following excerpts from The Foundation Chronicles, Book One: A For Advanced, copyright 2013, 2014, 2015, by Cassidy Frazee)

“What are we gonna do if we go out?” All Kerry had with him was £50 he’d hidden away over the last couple of years: there wasn’t any way he could get around London on that amount. “How we suppose to get around or do anything?”

Annie patted the envelope with her left hand. “Ms. Rutherford left prepaid debit cards with £200 on them for each of us to use. No need to worry about money for the day.”

“Oh.” Kerry’s stared off to a far corner of the room as he seemed to consider Annie’s comment.

Seeing the indecision on Kerry’s face, Annie knew the time had come to push the forty-four percent odds towards her favor. She reached out and touched his left hand: Kerry’s head swiveled around to face her. “Would you like to do something? Would you like to go somewhere with me, Kerry?”

 

There’s the question we’ll hear some, oh, three hundred thousand words from now, but here it gets asked three times, and this is also the very first time we see her do something to Kerry she’s never done before:  she touches his hand in a non-handshaking way.  Of course this  makes Kerry nervous, because girls, and this leads to a discussion of why she’s asking Kerry, and why she’s not asking the other two students with them.  Because Annie is a little girl who knows what she wants, even this early in the story.

And we get this right near the end:

 

She realized she’d made Kerry a bit uncomfortable, but there was also the possibility that he was completely focused on her, and if she asked him that question again, there was a good chance his mind wouldn’t wander this time.  “Would you like to do something?  Would you like to go somewhere with me, Kerry?”  She leaned every so slightly towards him.  “I’d rather not spend all day in the hotel, but I’d also rather not wander about London by myself.  I’d like you to join me.”  She sifted in her chair, sitting back while never allowing her gaze to drift from him.  “Please?”

 

That Annie:  such a forceful eleven year old girl.  If one didn’t know any better, one could say she was about to lean in for a kiss, but we know she’d never do that in public.

So much more to go, and the PDAs are already starting.

So much more to go, and the near-PDAs are already starting.

As the next scene is well over five thousand words long it’s likely going to take me a couple of days to edit.  But that’s the one where we get to see them walking around London–

And we know what these kids are like when they are left together on their own.

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16 thoughts on “The Second Second Breakfast Run

  1. This London scene is what makes me a bit uncomfortable. I just find a 12 year old and an 11 year old kids wandering around, alone, in a big city like London, a bit scary.

    • Oh, they were both 11 at the time. Annie’s birthday isn’t for another month.

      The point is what Kerry brings up in the next scene, and what Annie pretty much agrees with as well: they are being tested. ‘Cause The Foundation is all about pushing kids to their limits.

          • My daughter has an Asian mother like that. It took a long time before she’d even allow her to walk with her friend about five minutes away to the local Starbucks. She was about 13 then.

            Look at the wandering Kerry did before he ever met Annie. Though we saw that once he moved to Cardiff he stopped wandering. Now he’s gonna start wandering again, it seems.

          • LOL You’re right ! My Mom ‘s like that, too. One time I biked just around the neighborhood ( HS ) , when I got home, I saw her at the frontyard talking to Josh ( our neighbor who’s also my schoolmate ), and looking agitated . Later, Josh told me my Mom wanted to call 911. But I can’t blame her. Kids do get taken my bad men and murdered. That time, an 11 year old kid went to a neighborhood store to buy some snacks… a bad man got her and killed her. She was found dead after a few hours . It happened in broad daylight ! And this incident happened in our area! ! ( the perpetrator was he son of our city’s chief prosecutor, can you believe that ? His cap was found near the scene of the crime )

            Then there was this 12 year old middle school girl ( I went to the same middle school which is just a stone’s throw from our house ) who was murdered too. She was walking back to school to attend an after school activity. She was later found brutally murdered the next day at our school’s baseball field. Oh, and she was my cousin’s classmate.

          • Oi! Sorry to hear that. Yes, I could see you out riding your bike and then having the cops come looking for you because your mom called 911. Well, if anyone tries grabbing Annie and Kerry, it would probably be bad for them–the people doing the grabbing, that is.

          • My parents attended a meeting to tackle these issues. It was just too close to home.

            I remember there was a school lockdown (and we got a phone call from school too ) when a student who was biking to school ( a girl ) was grabbed by a motorist…. good thing they were seen by another motorist and rescued her. It happened early in the morning. She was also my schoolmate ( HS ) , a Ukrainian who was a new immigrant.

          • The irony is, our place is so quiet, and almost no traffic on streets going to school. The place is like a graveyard. And maybe that’s the reason. Our relatives from the Philippines who came to visit us noticed that too….. the streets are empty, and no people walking around. ( Subdivisions with high walls along the streets )

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