Look at me, back to the writing thing! Yes, I’m writing out the post today, as opposed to all the video I shot yesterday. But I really enjoyed shooting that video, and I’m thinking along the lines of doing at least one video a week, because it’s a lot of fun, and with the new computer it’s far easier to pull off.
Today is going to be a hot one, so I’m down to the coffee shop in my sundress–
–and I should point out that big building with the dome in the background, because on Wednesday I’m going to be there doing something important. I won’t say what yet, but if you’ve visited my Facebook page, you’d know. Needless to say, I hope I get pictures.
Today saw a lot of editing: just over eighteen hundred words, and that led to the scene being finished. Only eleven more words added, but a lot of stuff was rewritten so that event made sense. Also, a few of Annie’s lines were adjusted, because I know how she talks, and I had her talking wrong in places in this scene.
Beside having everything flow better, I changed a few things so there were more hints that Annie wasn’t as much a stranger to Kerry as one might imagine. You can see it a little here, in the one part of the scene that shows Annie at her sweetest as well as Kerry’s emotional side:
The following excerpts from The Foundation Chronicles, Book One: A For Advanced, copyright 2016 by Cassidy Frazee)
Annie didn’t want to hear Kerry go on about different ways The Foundation could follow them—she knew nearly all of them—so she moved the conversation in another direction. “I’m only asking because I’m curious, but—would you have left the hotel if I hadn’t asked you out?”
“I . . .” Kerry chuckled, then pursed his lips as he pushed air through them. “I don’t know. Yesterday wasn’t that bad because I didn’t have to go that far, and we were suppose to be doing things for school.” His sigh was loud against the background noise of the restaurant. “I’m glad I didn’t stay in the hotel.”
Annie brushed a few strands of hair from her face. “I’m glad I asked you out.”
Kerry blushed once again. “Um—”
“I’ve never had a girl tell me they, um—” He tried not looking at Annie. “That they asked me out.”
“Really.” She took a long sip of her lemon aid. “Does it feel as if I’ve asked you out on a date?”
“I guess.” Kerry seemed ready to sink into this tee shirt and appeared to want to do a dozen other things besides answer the question. “I’ve never been asked out on a date, so I wouldn’t know.”
“You mean asked out by a girl?”
“Well, yeah: that, too.” He finally managed to get his fidgeting under control. “I’m just happy you asked me along. You’ve been—” The deep blush grew bright. “You’ve really been nice to me.”
“Why wouldn’t I?” It was easy for Annie to be nice to Kerry, though he didn’t seem to yet understand the who or why. “You don’t complain, which is one good thing. And you can hold a conversation, which is another.”
He nodded as a slight grin began to form. “Thanks.”
She rested her cheek against her hands as she leaned towards him. “I’ll bet your friends say the same about you.”
The blush and the semi-grin vanished as Kerry’s face went slack. He was facing Annie but he wasn’t looking at her. “I . . .” His lips tightened as his gaze began darting from place to place.
“Kerry?” Annie knew something was wrong, though she wasn’t sure what had happened. “What is it?”
His voice sounded very small. “I don’t have any friends.”
Uh, oh. She was aware that Kerry was a solitary person, but she didn’t realize he was friendless. I never asked before— “I’m sure you have some.”
“I don’t.” He bit his lower lip to prevent it from quivering. “Never had any in California, and for sure don’t have any in Cardiff. That’s why no one ever asks me to do anything, or if I want to do something.” He took a deep breath as the fight to keep his lower lip from quivering was lost. “Not even my parents; they never ask me if I want to do anything.” He turned to the view beyond the window as a tear trickled down his cheek. “No one cares about me.”
Her expression never changed as Annie’s heart shattered. She’d heard sadness before, but never anything like the despair she’d just felt emanating from Kerry. “That isn’t true—”
“It is.” The trickle had become a stream, and his words barely escaped his tightening throat. “I don’t have any friends at school. My parents think I’m just a weird kid who sits in his room and reads and does stuff on his computer and listens to music. If it wasn’t for The Foundation paying for me to go to school, they wouldn’t have cared if I wanted to go or not. No one cares about me; no one loves me.” He set his glasses aside and covered his eyes so his tears were hidden. “No one at all.”
Annie felt her own growing sadness as Kerry broke down. She wasn’t sadden by his actions: she was saddened by his statement that no one loved him. She wanted to leap across the table and hold and tell him the truth, tell him what she knew, what she felt—
And if you do, then what? Will he believe you? He doesn’t seem to know you. He’ll think you’re crazy and that you’re playing with him, and that will only make him more upset—and it will be your fault.
Yeah, Annie: get ready to see Kerry crying a lot this novel, and having some of that due to you.
Maybe you spoke too soon, Annie . . .
Needless to say Annie manages to put a smile back on his face by the end, and they discuss what to do for the remainder of their day together. Later today I’ll start on the next scene–the trip through the Chunnel to Amsterdam–and we’ll get to see Annie being playful, and Kerry being clueless. Because he spends so much time like this, right? And let’s face it: he’s cute this way.
So we may as well enjoy it before we get to the pain . . .