Well, yes: I know it’s not Monday but rather Tuesday morning. Early Tuesday morning after a night of rain and fog that calmed down just enough for The Burg to set off fireworks about nine PM last night. Today it’s going to be 85 F/30 C and muggy, and I’ve spent some part of the morning trying to figure out what I’m going to wear to work today.
But I don’t . . .
Though I did a lot of editing in the morning, I didn’t exactly do anything last night. I did go to lunch and get a little boozy as there was nothing else going on and I didn’t feel like sitting around the house, but that tends to have a negative effect on my productivity as I need to fall into a nap later on–which I did like clock work.
The later late afternoon had me staying in–it started raining lightly about 3 PM and continued well into the night–so I started prep work. Part of my mind was engaged in going over Episode 1 of Sense8 again, mostly so I could get screen captures for the recap I’ll write tonight, and part of it thought about laying out chapters for C For Continuing, for 16 July is coming up fast–like a week and a half fast. But no pressure, right?
Suddenly I’m feeling it all over again: pressure. The pressure to produce is coming on strong, and I’m feeling deadlines once more where none had existed for a few weeks. It’s always nice to take a break and get away from the grind, but the truth is for creative people you always feel the pull to do something. You always feel like you should have a deadline, even thought you hate the damn things with a passion. It’s a strange symbiosis, but it’s there. And it isn’t going away.
I find I hate deadlines, but at the same time they’re needed, for you need to have those fixed points in time to get you off your ass and into work mode. I have two recaps to write this week, and two more for each of the next five weeks. I chose to do that and I set the deadlines for when it’s supposed to get done. I set goals yesterday for Act One of A For Advanced, and while they are doable goals, right away I started getting that sensation that said, “Maybe I shouldn’t have don’t that.” But if you don’t, you’re really getting nowhere. You’re just writing along sort of spinning your wheels in the creative mud.
You gotta produce, and you gotta get it out there so it’s seen. Otherwise, it’s sort of like masturbation without climaxing: all kinds of fun until you’re pissed off that there wasn’t a payoff.
I’ve done a lot in the writing area: now it’s time to get serious about the publishing area.
Even when I don’t like those deadlines, I know they are there to help.