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Loving the Next You

So, only half the stuff I wanted to get done yesterday was accomplished.  Okay, maybe two-thirds, because I did return a coat and get out my last recap of Black Mirror.  But the nails were not done because the shop is closed for remolding and no one told me.  Slow burn here ’cause they need redoing and I was ready for a morning of pampering that I didn’t get.  At least I had a nice nap after watching Sicario, which I highly recommend as a movie.

I was told I look nice when I'm about to take a nap. If only someone would say that to me in person--

I was told I look nice when I’m about to take a nap. If only someone would say that to me in person–

So, Crying Time at the Museum.  It’s just about over, and Kerry is digging deep into that toxic emotional well he’s dug with his mom’s help.  And it’s not sitting easy with a certain girl–

 

(The following excerpts from The Foundation Chronicles, Book Three: C For Continuing, copyright 2016 by Cassidy Frazee)

 

Annie nearly bit her tongue to keep from saying the first thing that came into her head: I so hate that horrible bitch. She was well aware of the hurtful and hurtful remarks Kerry’s mother had made to him where she compared him in unfavorable ways to a girl. There was nothing wrong with Kerry being sensitive and emotional: Annie loved how he was unashamed about showing his emotions, not only to her but to others.

But this was something different, and it made her finally realize a significant part of this ongoing trepidation about his upcoming transition. His mother has made being a girl such a negative influence in his life, he associates actually turning into one with becoming less a person than he is now. And given the emotions he’d experienced between the paintings and the song, and the way his mother derided him—Annie completely understood his sudden breakdown.

 

This is the second time in a little over twenty-four hours that Annie has thought of her future mother-in-law as a bitch, which doesn’t bode well for their future together.  So far Annie hasn’t shown real anger, because as we know when she’s angry There Will Be Blood.  Besides, the future Mrs. Malibey wouldn’t actually harm Kerry’s mom outright–he might not be happy with that action.  That doesn’t mean Annie couldn’t resort to other actions…

"Yeah, keep it up, Louise. I'll only have the rest of your life to make you miserable."

“Yeah, keep it up, Louise. I’ll only have the rest of your life to make you miserable.”

Plus think of their conversations over tea:

 

(Louise)  “So you were twelve when you were being formally taught as a witch?  When I was twelve I got my ears pierced.”
(Annie)  “I had mine pierced when I was ten  Oh, when I was twelve I also killed two people.”
(Louise)  “…”
(Annie)  “More tea?”

 

Really can’t wait for these two to meet.

Now that Annie has figured out the issues it’s up to her to try a bit of healing.  And she goes straight to the logical part of Kerry’s mind–

 

She turned toward him and ran her finger slowly down his left cheek. “My love, do you believe I’m less a person than you?”

Kerry quickly gathered himself and shook his head. “No. I’d never think that about you. I think you’re a better person than me.”

“In some ways, yes, in some ways, no.” Annie snuggled as close as she could get. “Do you think it’s a bad thing being a girl?”

He swallowed and leaned into Annie. “No.”

“Do you think you’ll be less of a person when as a girl?”

Kerry looked at Annie for nearly five seconds before speaking. “No, I don’t.”

“Then why do you let your mother’s hurtful words influence how you feel about what’s going to happen to you?”

Before he could speak Annie pressed two fingers against his lips. “You are a wonderful person, and I’m not just saying that because I’m in love with you. You’re kind, you’re passionate, you’re ready to help anyone who needs help. And that’s not going to change when you become—” A bright smile slowly formed upon her face. “More like me in many ways.

“You can’t be worried about what’s going to happen because it will happen. And you can’t be ashamed of this transition, either, because your mother has spent years demeaning you by comparing you to a girl.”

She kissed his cheek. “You’ll still be the same person: you’ll love art, you’ll love music, you’ll want to play at Ostara—”

Kerry sniffed back the last of his tears and chuckled. “I don’t know about that.”

“Who knows? You might decide you want to try it one day.” Annie stared deep into his misty green eyes. “The most important thing to know is that I will still love you. I won’t think of you as a lesser person: I’ll think of you as my soul mate.” She kissed the tip of his nose. “I’ll think of you as the girl I love.”

Annie wrapped her arms around his left arm and rested her head against his shoulder. “Can we just sit here for a while? And look at the paintings?”

Kerry relaxed and patted her right thigh with his hand. “We can do anything you want, Darling.” He dug down deep and found a moment of peace with which to relax. “Looking at the paintings is a great idea…”

 

One of the most worst things society has done for many generation is make being female a bad thing.  “You hit like a girl.”  “You run like a girl.”  “You cry like a girl.”  Whenever you want to put a dude down just remind them they’re totally like that half of the world with Team Vagina and you are burned, my friend.  And this is something I’ve come to wonder since I’ve started delving into these scenes with Kerry:  why would his mother say this?

I mean, it was the sort of shit I’d hear from my mother, and are they saying it because they’ve totally bought into the bullshit that they are lesser beings than the males of this world?  I can see it with my mother because she was born in the late 1930s and had to deal with a society that fully bought into the idea, but Louise?  She was born in 1971, which means she was a teenager from 1984 to 1992, making one believe by the time she went to college in the mid-90s she’d not believe in that way of thinking.  I mean, her own life is a testament to a woman doing her own thing–

Yet, when it comes to her own son she doesn’t seem to have a problem demeaning him with a stereotypical gender slam.

We know Kerry is an emotional and mental mess.  Annie knows it and it’s even money Kerry is aware as well, ’cause there are major tells in his words.  Annie is gonna have to deal with this, not only in Paris but probably once they return to Salem.  How is this going to play out in the coming months?

You know you’re gonna see, right?

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