This is the part of the blog post where I go, “Hey, guess what? I finished another scene!” And guess what? That’s exactly what happened.
The last three scenes of this chapter–this and to proceeding one–were written using Dragon voice recognition software. It’s easy to see when I’m in the mood to write I can, and that mood is starting to improve. Plus, getting new clothes yesterday helped improve that mood considerably. New clothes always do that to me.
Kerry had a dream. We’ve all heard that one before, and will probably hear it again. As I’ve indicated, Kerry is a mess and even though it’s only been about thirty-six hours since he left home, dealing with the rejection he felt in part of any other crap he’s been hit with since arriving in Paris, he’s not always doing his best to hold it together. And this dream–which I’m going to show in its entirety–this just another indication of everything that’s going on inside his head:
(The following excerpts from The Foundation Chronicles, Book Three: C For Continuing, copyright 2016 by Cassidy Frazee)
She took a slow sip of her drink, peering over the rim the entire time and spoke before putting the glass down. “About?”
He looked around the dining area. The closest couple to them was maybe two and a half meters away, but given the noise level in the restaurant he was certain he could speak openly to Annie without being overheard. “I dreamt I changed.”
Annie sat her glass down and leaned forward, laying her hands in her lap. “You had your transition?”
He nodded twice. “Everyone was there. Deanna was leaning up against the door; Erywin was staring her phone. We were sitting on the end of the bed: you were next to me still in your pajamas that I was dressed in that outfit I got yesterday.” He glanced out the window for a moment as he chuckled. “For some reason I kept playing with my hair—probably because I was nervous.
“Then Erywin gets something on her phone and says we got to leave. Deanna went ahead make certain everything was clear in the halls and on the stairs and Erywin stuck with us. We got all the way downstairs, waited for like fifteen, maybe twenty seconds before the car pulled up outside. She, you, and me got in and drove off.”
This part is pretty much like what he’d been told would happen, which makes it fairly obvious that he’s been giving a lot of thought to his possible departure, which could happen either tonight or the next night. By now, Kerry probably wants to get back to the school and returned to what has become the normal discipline for him there. At this point, wrecking on the Blue Line at two hundred kilometers an hour is preferable to finding out if the new outfit he’s been giving fits.
He’s noticed something else as well–
You were holding my hand and I was worried my palm too sweaty. I started to hyperventilate a little and Erywin gave you something to give me: that calmed me down after I took it. After that I just kind of sat back and looked out the window for the next ten, fifteen minutes.”
Kerry left his gaze slip away from Annie and focus on the city scene beyond the window. “When you dream nowadays, does it seem like you’re lucid dreaming?”
Annie gently rested her right hand upon the edge of the table. “Yes. I’ve noticed my normal dreaming has been like that ever since I started dreamwalking regularly.”
“I thought it might be like that. Mine started getting like that a few weeks before I learned how to dreamwalk, while I was practicing.”
Annie had wanted to ask Deanna about her change in dreaming during the lunch in Sofia, but it slipped her mind because of everything else they discuss that day. “I think we’re experiencing lucid dreaming because we’re far more connected to the dream realm now.”
He sighed, not taking his eyes off the Paris skyline. “It was real strange. I could feel every little movement of the car and the way the robe lay against my arms and my shoulders. I could even smell the leather of the backseat. And the city—” He glanced upward. “It was so beautiful. It was like I was seeing every light in the city for the first time. It was almost a bit overwhelming.” He turned back to Annie with a slightly dreamy look in his eyes. “Made me wonder if it was a dream or vision.”
“I wonder the same thing, but I realize there is always a huge difference.”
“What is that?”
“We know once we come out a vision that it was a vision.” She began touching the corner of her mouth with the nail of her right index finger. “When you woke up it didn’t feel like a vision, did it?”
Kerry answered right away. “No. It felt like a dream.”
Annie flashed a quick smile. “Did anything else happen?”
As they’ve grown as witches they both begun to notice changes. Most have not been discussed, but here’s one that they are both noticing: the dreams are becoming far more clear and realistic. Lucid dreaming is an indication that you are not only aware you dreaming but you can execute some sort of change over the dream. That’s kind of what happens with dreamwalking, but it’s far more complicated than that. But dreamwalking has apparently opened up their normal dreaming process to make things far more clear and vibrant.
And Annie’s last point is true: every time they’ve had a vision they know it’s a vision. So they are keeping with the process of lucid dreaming in knowing that their dreams are dreams and their visions are visions. Some of the likely also comes from having their little sessions with Deanna and learning how a real vision feels. And you can bet they’re going to go through that process again in a few days once her back at Salem.
Kerry has gotten to the point where he’s imagined himself at the hospital. So I guess that means it’s time for the rest of the dream to play out:
“Yeah.” He pulled his arms close to his body and seemed to hunch over. “We arrived at the hospital and Erywin goes in. She got the text about five minutes out that Coraline had arrived had me checked in, and about fifteen seconds late Erywin goes inside and comes back out with both Coraline and Jessica following. Coraline puts me in a wheelchair takes me inside with you and everyone else behind me. She’s telling me that she’s gonna give me something to help sleep and that in the morning she’s gonna start running labs on me—” Kerry grew a bit systolic while his eyes darted back and forth.
Annie had seen this: if usually happened when he was remembering something he didn’t want to say. “You can tell me what happened next, my love.”
He spent a moment swallowing before going on. “There was something in the way Coraline said that and while we were waiting for the lift I asked her if there was anything wrong.” His jaw tightened but he kept his eyes turned toward Annie. “She told me The Foundation at done some preliminary testing on my DNA and had found differences in it that didn’t match something in that other woman’s DNA—you know, the one who can do what I can do?”
She nodded. “Yes, I know.”
“Before she said anything she gave you one of her patches—like the ones you use for pain medication, or…” He glanced on the table. “A sedative.” Kerry continued onward, but he fought to keep his emotions under check. “She said The Foundation thought it possible that I was never gonna change back.” While he didn’t glance around the room, Kerry refused to meet Annie’s gaze.
She was unsure of what to say. She knew his upcoming transition weighed upon him, but his dream showed that he harbored fear deep in his subconscious. Annie decided to be direct. “You know that’s not going to happen.”
“I know that. But it was—”
“It was what?”
He finally looked up and met her gaze. “It was the way you looked at me, darling. You had this look on your face like, you were disgusted or something.” He closed his eyes for a few seconds, allowing only a single tear to trickle down his cheek. “That’s what bothered me.”
Despite everything that happens to Kerry, the part that bothered him the most was the look of disgust and he gave him. Which means, deep down inside still worries that Annie is going to reject him after this whole transition thing is over. You have to wonder if this is a feeling that’s been brought on by the rejection he’s felt from his parents, any answer that would be “yes”. It’s not something you can help; Kerry doesn’t ever want to be abandoned and so the process weighs heavily upon him.
But of all people he should know that Annie abandoned. And with the last part of the upcoming scene, she’s going to set them straight on that matter.