Yesterday was an interesting day. It was both good and bad and just like life, you have to take both as they come at you.
Yesterday I met with my HRT doctor, one of the two meetings I have with her every year. This 7 July will mark four years I’ve been on female hormones and, though it may sound clichéd, that part of my life has been good. Yes, I have crazy mood swings at times and my depression will get the better of me now and then because estrogens do that to you, but I am woman, hear me roar, and no one’s taking that from me.
I also have boobs, which is a plus.
Therefore, I drove out to New Jersey for my semi-annual visit. I arrived about 15 minutes before I was supposed to be there because after three and a half years I know my drive times. We chatted, she asked me the questions she always asks, the told me my labs are “boring”–
And then she told me this would be our last time together.
I sort of suspected that this moment was coming for a while. I know my doctor hasn’t been in the best of health, and a year ago she sent out a notice that she was about to close her doors before rescinding the comment. But based upon a few other things I’d read, I didn’t think she’d stay in practice much longer, and that became a reality yesterday.
I was able to hold it together during our visit, but once out in the car and bad on the road I had several crying jags hit me on the way home. My doctor has been an important part of my life for a few years now and having to say goodbye the way we did–well, it does hurt. But I can’t begrudge her wanting to step away from her practice: after all, that isn’t about me.
So now I’ll start the task of finding a new doctor, though I likely won’t begin on that for a few weeks. I’ve got other shit for which I need to deal and I’ll work on getting them out of the way first. Also, as much as I didn’t mind driving into New Jersey, I’m going to try and find a doctor a little closer to me this time. I know a lot more now than I did back in 2014, which makes things a lot easier.
One thing that my doctor told me is that she likes my “exercise regime”, which I told her consists of two or three 2 hour practice sessions of derby training every week, an hour to seventy-five minutes at the gym once a week, and a couple of hours of skating on the weekend. I was proud of the fact that my weight this time was 238 pounds, down 15 from six months ago–though I’m pretty sure that I’ve likely burned off a bit more fat than that–and my blood pressure was 120/78, the lowest it’s been in a long time. That’s all due to skating.
And speaking of which… Monday night we meet the new photographer who’s agreed to shoot us this year and he was out to the rink on this last Monday. I only showed up in a few shots, and the one below is probably the best. My teammate Mak the Ripper is on the left and I’m helping her form a blocking wall. Khara is the teammate behind me, trying to get around our wall with me doing my best to stop her–
Yes, the Bootie Block: it’s a blocker’s bread and butter, and the bigger the butt, the better the block. Fortunately I’m a wide enough girl that the big butt comes with the territory.
Today I’m better. And it’s warmer outside, though I can sometimes feel a chill come on when the sun dips behind clouds. I’m in shorts and a tank top right now, resting and enjoying the day–
Let’s hope there’s more of this.