A Day At The Races: Trout Angling

A couple of things about yesterday’s post.  First, as I was reminded by follower and fellow writing James Pailly of the Tomorrow Network News, O.S. should be “Off Screen” and not “On Screen.”  He’s absolutely correct, and in my “screenplay” there should have been only a few O.S. moment.  As he told me, “At least you were consistent,” so I’ll give the play that.  I’ll watch that in the future.

Second, while the screenplay was cleaned up, the interesting question remains:  if there was a movie made of this magnificent pairing of witches in the wilds of Cape Ann, what sort of rating would it get?  That’s an easy one:  it’d get an “R” rating, and that would come about for a couple of reasons.  First and foremost, the Walking Tests/Kill the Zombies scene would likely get nailed for being too bloody, and Deconstructor Death by Head Exploding, Arm Removal, and Exsanguination would probably be a no-no, not to mention the death are coming from an eleven year old boy and twelve year old girl.  Sleeping together, even innocently, would be frowned up, and Annie’s vision–the one where she got out of bed naked and never dressed–would likely need changing.

The biggest reason, though, is the dumbest:  the word “fuck” is said more than twice.  I was told long ago that a PG-13 is given two “fucks” said or seen, and when it hits three, that’s an automatic R.  The Martian used the two-times rule:  Matt’s character said the word twice, and each time after that it wasn’t heard or spelled out, even when it was seen by others.  The Aviator says the word once, thereby keeping its PG-13 rating.

However, in my story, Erywin drops the word at least once, as does Helena–the “We’re that team, remember?” line in the screenplay had the removal of one word, if you get my meaning–and Wednesday says it to Isis during the Day of the Dead attack.

And then there’s Lisa . . .

 

(From The Foundation Chronicles, Book One: A For Advanced, copyright 2013, 2014, 2015 by Cassidy Frazee)

Lisa jerked out of Erywin’s arms and launched herself at Kerry. She was on him in a second, pummeling him with her fists. “You stupid dick. Rotten bastard.” She punched him in the shoulders and chest while Kerry held his arms up, warding off her blows. “Smug prick, I’m going to get you. I’m going to—let me go.” Helena grabbed Lisa from behind and pulled the struggling girl away from Kerry. “I’ll get you, bitch. I’m gonna make you sorry.” She tried jerking out of Helena’s grasp with little successes. “I’m gonna to mess you up. I’m gonna to hurt You.” Lisa spit at Kerry. “I’m gonna bash in your head with a Fucking POT.”

Helena handed the struggling girl to Erywin. “Get her into the office and give her something.” As Lisa was pulled away, Helena motioned to Kerry. “You can sit down.”

“Thank you.” He headed back to his seat, back towards the proudly smiling Annie, trying his best to ignore the screaming and cursing Lisa—

Something hard stuck him in the back of the head, liquid splashing all over him. He turned and saw Lisa once again out of Erywin’s arms, standing next to the work bench where the various mixtures sat. “Fuckin’ prick.” She picked up another vial and hurdled it towards him to crash against the wall. “I’ll fix you and your fuckin’ slut.” She threw another and struck him in the forehead before he could duck. “Motherfucker.”

 

"Remember when Kerry dominated Lisa in Sorcery class and she lost her shit and was going to hit him with a fucking pot?" "Those were good times, weren't they?"

“Remember when Kerry dominated Lisa in Sorcery class and she lost her shit and was going to hit him with a fucking pot?” “Those were good times, weren’t they?”

Okay, then.  Just that little outburst alone puts me over the limit, and I’d have to keep two of those four F-Bombs in, so . . . fuck it.  R It Is!

But no fucking pots today–it’s race day!  Again!  And let me tell you, almost six hundred words to start the scene isn’t easy when you’re checking your maps and then, right in the middle of writing, you start wondering, “So, what covens to all these fliers come from?”  So I had to sit down and figure that out, and at some point–probably tonight–I’ll start getting crazy and wondering who the hell they are and give them names.

But that’s tonight at the least.  Not now.  Now you get racing!

 

(From The Foundation Chronicles, Book Two: B For Bewitching, copyright 2015, 2016 by Cassidy Frazee)

Slamming his broom hard to the left, Kerry lay down over the control column, pushed forward, and willed as much acceleration as his body could stand. He shot past tenth and ninth places before cutting to the center of the course to pass eighth on the right so closely that he felt the change in air pressure as he cut through the other flier’s burgeoning slipstream.

Seven fliers in front of him, and Lisa was still in the lead heading towards a slight bend to the right that was the set up the short straight going into the Trout chicane. She was getting pressured by both Soroushi, who was right on her tail, and Manco, who was trying hard to get around both girls. Manco was being pressured hard by a flier from Blodeuwedd and the two lone racers from Ceridwen, but the back of the pack was moving forward fast, and it wouldn’t be long before there was a jam-up—

The gates turned from a solid color to flashing, indicating the approach of a turn. Trout was a S chicane and a flyover much like the Green Line’s Reservoir. It turned back to the right, first down and then up over both the local road and Trout Creek, then dropped back into the woods and turned hard to the left for a fast, straight run to the next turn. The front five fliers entered the turn smoothly and gave each other enough space so they didn’t crash into each other.

Kerry cruised past the seventh place Mórrígan as he entered the turn a little harder than necessary, but there wasn’t going to be a problem pulling hard gees through the turn. He completed the turn on the outside and popped up over the road before sliding downward towards the creek. Just like with the first part of the chicane he stuck to the outside and started turning on speed at the apex of the turn. He carried enough momentum through the second part of Trout to zoom past one of the Ceridwen fliers to take over sixth.

Trout was the lowest portion of the course: two hundred and thirty-five meters above sea level. From here it was all uphill, so to speak. It was a nice flat run to the next turn, Crossing, which was deceptively difficult because it was a one hundred five degree turn to the right before starting a fast, one hundred meter climb to a wide, fast one-eight turn that started with a quick flyover.

He checked the course ahead. The top three were still Anna, Soroushi, and Manco being followed by their Blodeuwedd and Ceridwen shadows, but Kerry felt the pressure coming from behind. Emma was only two positions back, and he saw Alex, Penney, Rivânia, and Nadine close behind her. He figured once they were through Crossing those in the back were going to turn up the pressure and make they way to the front before heading into quick wraparound that was Twelve Cut, Barrell Around, and Twin Peaks.

All the top fliers wanted to get around the slower fliers before they began the climb into the mountains and the racing grew serious.

 

There you are.  Heading into the second of a buttload of turns–well, actually third if you were paying attention, and now Kerry’s moving up with racers hot on his six while he’s hot on the sixes of the racers at the bottom of the pack who started at the front barbecue it’s an inverted start–did you get all that?

If you didn’t get it, you soon will, ’cause you’re getting more tomorrow . . .

Coming to a Theater Near You–

Yesterday I mentioned that I was thinking of doing something that was a bit crazy, as in, “I’ve never done this before.”  Maybe there were a few of your who went, “What’s this loony bitch talking about, everything she does is crazy,” but I’m thinking only a few of you actually think that.  Well, maybe more than a few.

Anyway, what did I do yesterday that may seem so crazy?  Well . . . I wrote a screenplay.  Kinda.  Allow me to explain:

As I’ve stated on a few occasions I usually see my stories in cinematic terms.  Towards the end of last week, when I knew the writing of this big race was coming, I began forming these images in my head about how it was going to look, and from those images I would write.

But something else happened as well:  I started imagining my first book once more, and I was wondering, “If this really were a movie, it’d need a trailer.  And if I had a trailer, how would I want it to look?”  ‘Cause these days trailers give away a ton of shit–like, you know, everything.  Half the time you don’t need to see a movie ’cause it’s all there in the trailer.  That means if there were a trailer, I’d want to make sure it was right.  As in not giving away too much while, at the same time, showing you enough to get you interested.

So . . . I wrote the screenplay.

While I’ve never actually written a real screenplay, I’ve read a few.  Also, decades ago, I’d seen a couple of screenplays written by Harlan Ellison–who won awards for four of his screenplays for television–so I had a good idea how they look.  After going into work and getting some shopping done, and even while taking a nap in the middle of the endeavor, I pushed it out:  3,360 words of how a shooting script for the trailer would appear.  Or at least close enough that someone who knows about writing screenplays could look at this and fix it with only a few corrections here and there.

Now, some of the terms.  A Fade In and Out are what movies more or less do.  The images fade in at the beginning and fade out at the end.  A Quick Cut is a transition from one scene to another, while a Smash Cut is a quick shot into another scene for only a second, or a normal process in a Micheal Bay movie.  Dissolve To indicates a slower transition to a scenes, usually as a quick fade in.  In the dialog lines you’ll see “V.O.” and “O.S.”; this means “Voice Over” and “Off Screen,” indicating how the person is speaking.  A voice over is where you hear the person’s voice but they aren’t present in the section of the movie being shown.  EXT. and INT. are Exterior and Interior, where the shot is taking place.  Intercut are one of those things where a group of interrelated scenes are shown in a montage, sometimes with dialog, sometimes without.  It’s use as a way of telling the director these need to be shots without having to tell them that you’re going to cut to these scenes all the time.  Pan Over means that:  the camera is panning.  Angle On, means the focus is on a particular person or thing.  Extreme Closeup is pretty simple as well.

The first time a person’s name appears in the screenplay it’s in all cap letters.  Also, at the beginning, you’ll notice that the conversation between Annie and her mother and father say “In English”.  This is because if this ever were a movie, all the dialog between Annie and her parents, while they are together and alone at home, would be in Bulgarian and subtitled.  For a trailer that would be a bit too confusing.

You’ll notice a couple of things.  One, there are almost no external views of the school.  That’s deliberate.  Two, just about everyone gets seen.  And I do mean everyone.  And lastly:  all the dialog is genuine, though, like with most trailers, it’s been edited slightly.  Some things cut here and there, and a few things may seem out of order, but it’s all right out of the book.  You will also notice that the “W Word” is mentioned one time, and it’s in a particular context.

Given all this, it’s time to sit back and enjoy the show . . .

 

The Foundation Chronicles, Book One: A For Advanced

by Cassidy Frazee

Copyright 2016

FADE IN:

EXT. LAKE SHORE — DAY

A young girl is standing with a tree to her right looking out over a peaceful, still lake with a mountain in the background. She’s dressed for summer and looks comfortable. From the back it’s easy to see her just over shoulder-length chestnut-colored hair.

WOMAN’S VOICE (O.S. IN ENGLISH)
It’s almost ten o’clock.

QUICK CUT:

A woman perhaps in her late twenty or early thirties standing on the deck of house. PAVLINA KIRILOVA waves to the girl.

PAVLINA (IN ENGLISH)
It’s getting close to the time to leave.

QUICK CUT:

The girl turns to her left, facing the person calling to her. This is ANNIE KIRILOVA. She brushes a strand of hair from her face.

ANNIE (IN ENGLISH)
Coming, Mama.

INT. — KITCHEN KIRILOVA HOUSE

There is a tall, well dressed man leaning against a counter. This is VICTOR KIRILOVA. He smiles.

VICTOR (IN ENGLISH)
Did you believe I would miss—

INTERCUT TO ANNIE SMILING

VICTOR (O.S. IN ENGLISH) (CONT’D)
—my only daughter leaving home for the first time?

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. LIVING ROOM — DAY

MR MAYHEW, wearing an impeccable suit, sits in a nice chair speaking with husband and wife, DAVYN and LOUISE MALIBEY.

PAN AROUND DAVYN, LOUISE, MR MAYHEW

DAVYN
They want him to attend this private school in America, house him, feed him, give him an education—

MR MAYHEW
One of the best he could ever have.

DAVYN (O.S.)
And they’ll pay for everything?

MR MAYHEW
Your son is being given a chance at something that is only offered to an extremely small number of people throughout the world every year.

DAVYN
And they’ll pay for everything?

LOUISE
I’ve never heard of this group—

MR MAYHEW
There are many organizations that prefer to work with as little fanfare as possible. They find it’s better that way.

QUICK CUT:

A young boy dressed in black jeans, blue tee shirt, and sneakers stands in the doorway. He has short, red hair, freckles, and wearing rectangular wire-rim glasses which he adjusts. This is KERRY MALIBEY, the object of the conversation.

QUICK CUT:

Kerry sitting in a chair, a pamphlet in his hands.

KERRY
It seems like a pretty interesting place.

DAVYN (O.S.)
Maybe it is time to see something of the world beyond our home . . .

QUICK CUT:

INT. FOYER MALIBEY HOME — DAY

A young black woman wearing an impeachable dress suit is standing with her back to the open front door. MS RUTHERFORD adjusts her large bag on her shoulder.

MS RUTHERFORD
I’m Ms. Rutherford. I’m your escort to London and beyond.

INTERCUT TRAVELING IN CAR

MS RUTHERFORD (O.S.)
We’re meeting the rest of the new European contingent there—

CLOSE UP ON MS RUTHERFORD — IN CAR

MS RUTHERFORD
Are you excited?

KERRY
I’m definitely hoping this is going to be a lot different than here.

SMASH CUT:

BLACK SCREEN

MS RUTHERFORD (V.O.)
You’ll find Salem is like nothing you’ve ever seen.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. VIEW OF LONDON — DAY

PAN OVER CITY FROM AIR

QUICK CUT:

INT. VIEW OF RESTAURANT — DAY

Ms. Rutherford and Kerry talking over breakfast.

KERRY
Where are the others?

MS RUTHERFORD
The others have already eaten and gone on their way.

INTERCUT KERRY IN LONDON

MS RUTHERFORD (V. O.)
You have an assignment today.

Kerry wanders the streets of London, looking at intersections.

MS RUTHERFORD (V. O.)
You—as well as the others—have some prep work to do.

Seen from behind he walks through a book store, his every-present backpack secure behind him.

MS RUTHERFORD (V. O.)
You’ll need to go and order your texts.

Kerry looks over and sees Annie sitting in a chair that is mostly engulfed in shadow. She looks up and sees him.

MS RUTHERFORD (V. O.)
They’re familiar with our more esoteric textbooks.

Annie is now standing, speaking with Kerry.

ANNIE
You must be the boy who missed breakfast.

KERRY
That’s me.

ANNIE
I’m from Pamporovo, Bulgaria.

KERRY
A couple of years ago my family moved to Cardiff—

ANGLE ON — ANNIE

She holds out her hand to shake

ANNIE
I’m sorry; I’ve been so rude. Annie Kirilova.

ANGLE ON — KERRY

She holds out her hand to shake.  Kerry shakes.

KERRY
Kerry Malibey.

ANGLE ON — ANNIE

She begins to look perplexed.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. VIEW OF LOBBY AREA — DAY

Ms. Rutherford and Annie are speaking quietly.

MS RUTHERFORD
I’ve been called into the office; please tell the others they are free to do whatever they’d like—within legal limits, of course. You can even leave the hotel if you want to take in the city.

ANNIE
Why are you giving this to me?

MS RUTHERFORD
Would you rather I give this to one of the Normal children?

QUICK CUT:

INT. VIEW OF RESTAURANT — DAY

Annie and Kerry are sitting at a table. Annie is on Kerry’s left: she’s ALWAYS to his left.

ANNIE
Ms. Rutherford left prepaid debit cards with £200 on them for each of us to use.

PAN FROM — ANNIE TO KERRY

ANNIE
Would you like to do something? Would you like to go somewhere with me, Kerry?

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. LONDON

INTERCUT ANNIE AND KERRY WALKING THROUGH LONDON

Various scenes of Annie and Kerry walking through London, on a boat, walking though parks. Annie is always on Kerry’s left and he carries his backpack. They seem friendly, and there’s at least one time when they have someone take their picture with Kerry’s phone while they stand shoulder-to-shoulder.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. BUSY RESTAURANT IN LONDON

They sit at a table close to a window.

ANGLE ON — KERRY

KERRY
Can I ask you something?

ANNIE
You may.

KERRY
Do you think it’s a little funny that Ms. Rutherford just let us go out on our own without supervision?

ANGLE ON — ANNIE

KERRY (O.S.)
She’s testing us.

DISSOLVE TO:

INTERCUT ANNIE AND KERRY TRAVELING

The are getting on a 747 and taking their seats. As they fly they are reclining and looking at each other. They walk with others through a train station, riding with other passengers. They wait on an empty platform with other children before boarding an empty passenger car.

QUICK CUT:

INT. OF TRAIN CAR — NIGHT

ANNIE
Where do you think we’re headed?

KERRY
I’m not sure.

EXTREME CLOSE UP — KERRY’S COMPUTER SCREEN

KERRY (O.S.)
We’re sort of heading northeast. I don’t think there’s a lot of land left before we run out of places to go.

QUICK CUT:

EXT. TRAIN STATION— NIGHT

INTERCUT ANNIE AND KERRY TRAVELING

They get off the train and on to a bus, traveling in darkness. The bus stops before a set of enormous gates, they open and the bus goes through.

KERRY (V.O.)
End of the line.

QUICK CUT:

INT. BUS — NIGHT

A woman in a light gray business dress stands at the front of the bus and faces the students. She speaks with a French accent. This is Headmistress MATHILDE LAVENTURE.

MATHILDE
Children, once outside please stay close to the bus. I assure you, we’re almost through for the night.

QUICK CUT:

EXT. PARKING LOT — NIGHT

Another woman in a dark business dress stands before the students with a tablet in her hand. She wears stylish red glasses. this is ISIS MOSMON.

ANGLE ON — ISIS

ISIS
My name is Isis Mossman; I’m the Director of Security. On behalf of Headmistress Laventure, the staff, and the instructors, I welcome you girls and boys to your new home-away-from-home.

PAN TO — ANNIE AND KERRY

ISIS (O.S.)
Welcome to Salem.

DISSOLVE TO:

INTERCUT ANNIE AND KERRY AT SCHOOL

Kerry opens the door to his room and finds Annie waiting for him. They walk through the commons, seen from above. They head down the covered walkway towards an open area. Beyond them a garden is visible. There are no buildings visible. They are seen from above entering a large open area. They head into an enormous, nearly empty, dining hall, and sit at a table that has their names on a card.

PAN TO — FRONT OF HALL

A number of long tables tables are set at the front, with a podium behind them. People enter from one of the entrances and take their seats; most of these people are women. Mathilde accedes the podium.

MATHILDE
Good morning, students.

PAN AROUND — MATHILDE AT PODIUM

MATHILDE
I am Mathilde Laventure, Headmistress of the Salem Institute of Greater Education and Learning. I am certain each of you have many questions about what you have seen up to now—and they will be answered soon, I assure you.

DISSOLVE TO:

INTERCUT OF DIFFERENT CLASSES

MATHILDE (V.O.)
By now I’m sure that all of you suspect The Foundation recruiter who spoke with you and your parents wasn’t completely honest about the true mission of this institution.

WEDNESDAY DOUGLAS makes things appear and vanish, and levitates a student in class.

MATHILDE (V.O.)
Salem was founded to offer safe harbor for others like them.

JESSICA KISHNA transforms from her usual dark complexion to blue skin and near-glowing eyes.

MATHILDE (V.O.)
Here we teach the incredible and the impossible. We take reality, strip away the protective veils that have existed for centuries, and expose the real truth.

ERYWIN SLADEN tips over a petrified student who crashes to the floor.

RAMONA CHAI sails backwards through the air before gently floating to the ground.

MATHILDE (V.O.)
You are here because you are not one of the Normal—you are one of us.

CORALINE GALLAGHER sits in front of Kerry, a device in one hand and an orange glow in the palm of the other and speaks before she winks at Kerry.

CORALINE
It’s a kinda magic.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. PATH IN THE WOODS — DAY

ANNIE (O.S.)
Keep an open mind today. Listen to the instructors. Ask questions. Please?

KERRY (O.S.)
Okay. Just for you.

INT. CLASSROOM FILLED WITH PILLOWS — DAY

DEANNA ARRAKIS looks to her left.

DEANNA
Kerry, would you be so kind as to prepare tea?

KERRY
How did you really know we were coming, Professor?

DEANNA
I told you, I saw you both coming.

KERRY
When?

DEANNA
Before breakfast.

EXT. COVERED PAVILION SEATS — DAY

Annie and Kerry watch students fly by on PAVs, high-tech brooms that look like old-time witch’s brooms, but look far more modern.

KERRY
You’re like the instructors. I suspected something last night, but today I knew for sure. That’s what we are, isn’t it?

ANNIE
The Aware? That’s what we’re called, yes. We’re the special, the ones who can see everything that’s invisible to the rest of the world. The ones who are Normal.

KERRY
Like I was.

ANNIE
No. You were never normal, Kerry.

DISSOLVE TO:

INTERCUT OF DIFFERENT CLASSES

Annie and Kerry go through various situations. They learn simple spells in class. They are seen putting large bags inside greenhouse. They are scene snuggling under a blanket in a chair looking up at the stars during Astronomy Class. Annie and Kerry are seen flying over a large building surrounded by woods that looks like a covered sports arena. Beans are seen turning into beetles. Dressed in pajama they walk through a huge hall filled with kids in pajamas, and are seen sitting on a sofa eating snacks, drinking from steaming mugs, and laughing.

QUICK CUT:

INT. ROOM WITH LOTS OF CHAIRS — DAY

All the students are dressed in leather flying gear reminiscent of WW II pilots. Annie and Kerry sit in the front row and to the left of the podium. VICTORIA SALOMON, dressed the same way as her students, stands at the podium.

VICTORIA
Good afternoon, students, and welcome to the first day of flight training.

QUICK CUT:

INT. ROOM WITH LOTS OF STORAGE CABINETS — DAY

Victoria stands with the students around her.

VICTORIA
Here is some of best equipment you’re ever going to find.

Annie stands before a hovering broom with Victoria standing next to her.

VICTORIA
You want to try and be as normal as possible when you fly one of these. If you’re nervous or a little anxious, it’s okay, you can work out of that, but your broom is gonna act a little jittery for a bit until you settle down.

Annie begins to tentatively mount the broom—

QUICK CUT:

INT. ROOM WITH SOFA AND CHAIRS — NIGHT

Deanna sits on one side of a sofa while TREVOR PARKMAN sits opposite her. Annie and Kerry sit on the sofa between them dressed in pajamas with an comforter across their legs and waists.

ANNIE
I take it you have Trovell’s Study of Sight?

TREVOR
Yes, naturally.

ANNIE
And you have Vijoni’s Interpretation of Visions, Awake and in Dreams?

KERRY
You getting ready to start studying up on improving your sight?

ANNIE (SMILING)
No—you are.

QUICK CUT:

EXT. GARDEN PATH — NIGHT

Kerry stands next to Annie and looks around, bemused.

KERRY
This has been one strange week.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. CLASSROOM — DAY

HELENA LOVECRAFT stands at the front of her class, glaring darkly at her students.

CLASS POV — HELENA

HELENA
I’m a damn good sorceress and that’s not just a brag—that comes from over twenty years of working for The Foundation as one on the outside, away from Salem.

PAN TO — HELENA PACING

HELENA
Whereas one can use the other disciplines against another person, sorcery is meant to work against a person, whether directly or indirectly. Sorcery is all about dominating people, controlling them, hurting them—even killing them.

STUDENT (V.O.)
Is there like a main spell used for killing people?

QUICK CUT:

HELENA POV — ANNIE

HELENA (O.S.)
Miss Kirilova. What is the name of the category that defines the sorcery spells used to kill someone?

ANNIE
It’s known as Morte.

HELENA
Have you read any books on the subject?

ANNIE
Yes. I was given a book on the subject for my ninth birthday, actually.

QUICK CUT:

INT. BARE STONE WALLED ROOM

KERRY POV — ANNIE

He watches her create a ball of blue fire about twice the size of a basketball that floats in the air before her.

KERRY (O.S.)
That’s cold fire?

ANNIE
It is perfect, isn’t it?

KERRY
I’d expect nothing less from my Dark Witch.

Annie beams.

QUICK CUT:

INT. HEADMISTRESS’ OFFICE — DAY

MATHILDE
My Mistress of Spells, what is ever the problem?

WEDNESDAY
I think we have a situation that requires our attention.

INTERCUT OF ANNIE AND KERRY PERFORMING MAGIC

MATHILDE (V.O.)
Our Cernunnos A Levels? The ones the instructors are talking about?

Annie performing an invisibility spell and being mostly successful. Kerry levitating a doll and drawing it towards him.

WEDNESDAY (V.O.)
One and the same. Watch.

Kerry transforms a pile of wood from a single log. Annie creates ice floating in the air from a bucket of water.

WEDNESDAY
Everything they did is well beyond their level. There is no way they should have even tried those, much less make them work.

QUICK CUT:

INT. LARGE ENCLOSED AREA — DAY

WEDNESDAY (V.O.)
Oh, I’ve saved the best for last.

EXTREME CLOSE UP — ANNIE’S FACE

Face half-covered in blood and gore, Annie tosses what looks like a sword to the side with her left hand as she walks with determination towards the camera.

QUICK CUT:

PAN TO — KERRY ATTACKING SOMEONE

He takes what looks like a long sword and cuts up and through someone, splattering himself with blood in the process.

QUICK CUT:

INT. HEADMISTRESS’ OFFICE — DAY

WEDNESDAY
This is more than talent.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. HEADMISTRESS’ HOME — NIGHT

Mathilde stands in her living room with Helena, Erywin, and Jessica. On one side of the room stands a man in a dark suit and overcoat. This is MR GABRIEL.

MATHILDE (O.S.)
What answers do you require, Mr. Gabriel?

MR GABRIEL
We’re interested on the progress of some of your students. A Levels.

QUICK CUT:

INT. PRIVATE LAB — NIGHT

Annie creates ribbons out of shadow in front of Kerry.

QUICK CUT:

EXT. PARK — DAY

Kerry produces ball lightning in his hand.

MATHILDE (V.O.)
Do these A Levels have names?

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. DARK CORRIDOR — NIGHT

Helena speaks in a threatening tone to Gabriel.

HELENA
Annie and Kerry may be extraordinary kids, but they are kids.

INTERCUT OF ANNIE AND KERRY TOGETHER

Annie in her night clothes, smiling and singing; Kerry dressed in his flight clothes, standing at the railing of a high building, looking at other buildings some distance away poking up through the trees.

HELENA (V.O.)
Being minors doesn’t matter—

Kerry leads Annie into a dance; Annie walks along side Kerry as they enter a grove of pine trees.

HELENA (V.O.)
You will find a way to get them out in the field, you will find a way to see how they operate.

Annie faints and Kerry rushes to her side; Annie comforts a crouching Kerry who seems to be in pain.

HELENA
When that happens, I want to make certain they don’t come back in body bags.

An enraged Annie stalks across the Rotunda with a dark ball of energy in her hands; Kerry drops pass the camera on his broom, which follows him down towards the dark forest.

QUICK CUT:

INT. HOTEL ROOM — DAY

ERYWIN
You need to bring in a team that—

HELENA
That knows what?

QUICK CUT:

EXT. PARK — DAY

KERRY POV — ANNIE

Annie levitates and smiles down at him.

QUICK CUT:

INT. SCHOOL OFFICE — DAY

Kerry quickly changes the color of his hair from red to blond, then points at his head.

HELENA (V.O.) (YELLING)
We’re that team, remember?

QUICK CUT:

EXT. FIELD — NIGHT

Annie and on the left and Kerry on the right, both create huge balls of fire they each hold before their bodies.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. BEDROOM — NIGHT

Erywin and Helena are sitting up in bed; Erywin cradles Helena in her arms.

ERYWIN
That leaves those two in the other room. Any concerns there?”

HELENA
Only one.

QUICK CUT:

INT. DINING HALL — NIGHT

Kerry is dancing with Annie, holding her tight.

KERRY
I’ll catch you before you fall.

QUICK CUT:

EXT. GARDEN — NIGHT

Annie runs her finger down Kerry’s left arm.

ANNIE
Moyata polovinka.

QUICK CUT:

INT. OVERHEAD WALKWAY — DAY

HELENA (V.O.)
Hoping they can handle what comes after.

PULL BACK — ANNIE AND KERRY CRAFTING MAGIC

Kerry on right of screen, Annie on left, He concentrates, his hands slightly raised, as the air shimmers across the width of the walkway. Annie looks grim and serious as something dark seems to swirl in her right hand.

SMASH CUT:

BLACK SCREEN — RUN TITLE

The Foundation Chronicles: A For Advanced

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. WIDE CORRIDOR — NIGHT

Coraline stands with a visibly upset Annie. She places her finger across the girl’s lips.

CORALINE
Don’t think the worst.

SMASH CUT:

EXT. FIEND — NIGHT

EXTREME CLOSE UP — BODY

A scaly body fills the screen. As it slowly turns a tentacle whips across the screen. There is a low growl (and use an ULTRA LOW FREQUENCY layer in the soundtrack so the audience feels this) as the hint of an eye slides into view . . .

SMASH CUT:

EXT. FIEND — NIGHT

SLOW ZOOM ON KERRY

Dressed in his flight gear he sits on his broom, holding what looks like another PAV. As the camera moves in on his face, he’s frightened and hyperventilating. As soon as the focus is tight on his shoulders and head he switches the PAV to his right hand, screams, and charges towards the camera.

SMASH CUT:

BLACK SCREEN — RUN TITLE

Classes Start 1 September

FADE OUT:

 

And there you are.  Hope you enjoyed this, and hope you have questions.  Believe me, I had a good time putting it together–

Look how satisfied I am after writing this.

You can tell just by how I look here after I finished.

Getting Science All Up In Here

I don’t get out my these days–that’s sort of clear to a lot of people.  And one of the things I don’t get out to do is see movies.  Most of that is due to having sort of a high standard when it comes to seeing a movie, and that’s to be entertained without having too much of my intelligence insulted.  That’s why I’d only seen Mad Max:  Fury Road this year of 2015 and nothing else.  I’m just a cranky bitch when it comes to film.

Yesterday, however, not long after posted on my blog, I headed out to see The Martian, the movie based upon Andy Weir’s 2011 novel of the same name.  One reason I wanted to see the movie was because it was science fiction, and from everything I’d read of the novel, pretty accurate science fiction, with the emphases on science.  I will say now that I have not read the novel, but I’m probably going to pick it up and give it a read just to see the differences between the printed and visual versions.

The interesting thing about the novel is how it came about.  Weir wanted the novel as scientifically accurate as possible, and did a lot of research on the surface of Mars, on botany, astrophysics, space craft design, and orbital mechanics, going so far as to write is own program so he could track the orbits of the ships in his novel.

Which is something only a few crazy people do for, say, a game.

Which is something only a few crazy people–like the one who wrote this a few years ago–kinda sorta do for games.   Crazy.

Weir had been writing since his twenties, and The Martian was his first novel.  He shopped it around, and when none of the publishing houses showed interested, he started publishing the book for free on his website, going thought chapter by chapter.

That's insane.  What sort of nut does that?

That’s insane. What sort of nut does that?

After a while people asked him to put out a Kindle version of the story, and he did, and he sold the book for $.99, the lowest price one can offer for a work on Amazon.  After he sold thirty-five thousand copies in one month, Crown Publishing Group approached him and asked if he’d like a sweet deal for his book.  The deal made him another one hundred thousand dollars and got him a movie, so it sounds like he got what he was looking for.

If you’re asking, “What’s this about?”, it’s about a guy who, through no fault of anyone, gets stranded on Mars and has to find a way to stay alive until he’ rescued.

If nothing else, fall back on a meme that says the same thing through Apature.

If nothing else, fall back on a meme that makes you wonder if Aperture Science runs the space program.

That’s the story in a nutshell, and without going into a lot of detail, it’s what the movies shows.  What I loved was the attention to detail and how everything was so . . . sciencry.  As I indicated I haven’t read the book, but there were things in the movie that because of my knowledge of Mars and space stuff in general, I got right away.  (There was a scene in the movie where the main character was looking at a map, and the minute he realizes something and was hit with a light bulb moment, so was I.  Geeks, I know.)

The movie is magnificent in appearance.  The Mars stand-in was Wadi Rum in Jordan, which has stood in for Mars in a couple of movies, and one of the locations used in Laurence of Arabia.  With the help of a little CGI you feel like you could be there on the Red Planet.  All the tech looks workable and has an authentic feel.  And the spaceship Hermes and the Mars HABs . . . Oi.

Magnificent spaceship porn, yo!

Magnificent spaceship porn, yo!

I can look at the ship above and see stuff that’s supposed to be there on a real spacecraft, and that makes me happy.  There are things I saw happening in the movie that shouldn’t have happened (when you decelerate in space, your engine is supposed to be pointed towards the forward edge of your orbit, thank you), but they were minor and nitpicky.  Even Weir admits that he made the storms on Mars more visually impressive than they would be in real life because, you know, sometimes you have to do that.

The characters are good, though I think NASA in the middle of the 21st Century would be a tad more diverse than shown, and in one major instance, a character was completely whitewashed. The moment I saw the character’s name I thought “Shouldn’t she be Korean?”  This, again, came without reading the novel, and after a little investigation last night I discovered I was correct.  It isn’t impossible to find an actress of the proper ethnicity these days,  so Hollywood, you need to stop that shit right now.

There is one scene in the movie that got a huge laugh out of the audience I was with–and with me as well–and without going into detail:

When you see the scene, you'll get this completely.

When you see the scene, you’ll get this completely.

I came out really happy, not only because I saw what I’d say was a real science fiction movie, but because there was a scene involving engineering that was done while ABBA’s Waterloo played on the soundtrack.  I mean, come on:  that’s something I’d do in my stories, so you know I was smiling like crazy and bouncing in my seat as the scene played out.  And in a moment of disclosure, in a game I was running some twenty years ago, I’d planed to use Waterloo as a song-over during a scene were some people were preparing in invade a planet.

See?  Great minds think alike.  And so do those who know what makes science fun.

Tugging the Post-Apocalyptic Heartstrings

Fridays and Sundays are quickly becoming the “Take the Night Off Writing” days, because that’s what happened yesterday:  damn near no writing at all.  Oh, sure, I tried, I really did, but I made it like two hundred words past where I was the last time, and just skated on by with the work.  Some of this is due to watching movies on those nights, because I need to get my mind on other things once in a while, and I need that.

"What other things?  There's writing, and your characters, and sex, and . . . oh, those things."

“What other things? There’s writing, and your characters, and sex, and . . . oh, those things.”

Though normally I’m thinking about sex for my characters, so don’t judge me.

Yesterday, since I’m all by myself and there’s nothing to do, I went to the movies to see Mad Max:  Fury Road.  This was the first movies I’ve seen in the theaters since seeing Guardians of the Galaxy, which gives you an idea of how often I get out to movies–it’s like one time a year if you’re keeping track.  Now, full disclosure:  I am a big Mad Max fan.  I had the first two movies on bootleg video tapes, which meant the first one was without the dubbed voices (when Mad Max was first shown here in the US all the dialog, even Mel Gibson’s, was dubbed to get rid of the Australian accents).  I’ve even seen the one and only “Lost Version” of Mad Max 2, aka The Road Warrior, presented on NBC, which included a lot of added scenes as well as the infamously changed opening and closing narration, redone by someone with a bad US Southern accent.

I’ve also looked up a few spots where filming has occurred, in the instance that I ever get Down Under I can head for Broken Hill and check out some locations.

Since everything in Austratalia is trying to kill you, I fully expect to find this waiting for me at Mundi Mundi.

Since everything in Australia is trying to kill you, I fully expect to find this waiting for me at Mundi Mundi.  G’day, mate!

So I went to the movie expecting to be entertained.  I also expected to be blown away, ’cause I’m a sucker for fast cars and explosions.

I didn’t expect to almost start crying when the movie ended.

I’ve said, time and again, that your characters are the most important part of the story:  if they are no more than cardboard cutouts, then it’ll show throughout your story.  Now, I had read over the last few weeks how surprised people were at the strong characterization of people in the movies, particularly Charlize Theron’s character, Imperator Furiosa.  (And that’s FuriOsa, not FurioSAR.  Hermione wants you to get it right.)  The people making these statements were correct, but there seemed to be so much more to them . . . there was depth.  There was a lot lying below the surface of most of the characters, and during the course of two hours it all bubbled out.

Tom Hardy’s Max went through a number of changes during the movie, even though he’s given so little to say.  He doesn’t need words; it’s done with looks, with body language, and late, with the tone of his voice.  (And before people start pointing out that Tom’s dialog was cut down to give the focus of the movie over to the women, in Mad Max 2 Mel Gibson has sixteen lines, and two of them are, “I only came for the gasoline.”  Yeah, people living in the Outback after the end of the world usually don’t have much to say.)  The one thing you do get about Tom’s Max is that he is truly mad, and he’s yet to come to grips with his madness.  Like many of us with mental illness we learn to cope, and this Max copes by just staying the hell out in the middle of nowhere and staying away from people, ’cause he might do someone harm otherwise.

At the end of the movie I was almost crying because I’d been sucked into the spectacle.  I found characters that I liked and wanted to know more about, and found their struggle to reach the end worthy and believable.  But then I’ve found this with a lot of action movies made outside the US:  you get sucked into the story, either because the characters are compelling (Hard Boiled and La Femme Nikita instantly come to mind) or you get drawn into action that is both real and over the top (The Raid and The Raid:  Redemption cover this one nicely).  Action movies here, on the other hand, seem to be designed to sell toys, and if you want anything serious, well, you’ve not come to the right place.

Which is why every time I see the latest Baytacular, where gigantic toy robots that you’re going to buy off Amazon later get into a battle that ends up killing millions of people for whom you give zero shits, Act 5, Scene 5, of Macbeth comes to mind:

Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

 

If there is one thing I never want to do, it’s create a story that signifies nothing.  And our characters are everything.

Without them, we have nothing upon which to care.

Here Comes Mr. Heartache

Yesterday’s writing on the novel was pretty much non-existent because I was finishing up another project that needed finishing, and that bugger took most of about eight hours of work.  It was finished up, leaving me a little burned out but none the worse for the wear.

"I'll have Kerry professing his darkest secrets to Annie here just as soon as I lift my nose off the 'V' key."

“I’ll have Kerry professing his darkest secrets to Annie here just as soon as I lift my nose off the ‘V’ key.”

What I ended up doing instead was watching the TCM channel, because the movie that was on was Here Comes Mr. Jordan, starring Robert Montgomery, Evelyn Keyes, and Claude Rains.  The movie was made in 1941 and has been remade a few times since, even once in India.

I’ve remembered this movie quite a lot over the years because I can remember seeing it when I was like seven or eight years old.  See, as a kid I watched a lot of old movies because we pretty much had six channels a radio, and the local affiliates ran what would be considered “Classic Movies” all the time in the afternoon, and usually after ten-thirty at night.  I throw the quotes around “Classic” because when I was eight the year was 1965, and Here Comes Mr. Jordan was only twenty-four years old; the equivalent today would be watching one of these, the Top Ten Movies of that year:

1.    Terminator 2: Judgment Day
2.    Beauty and the Beast
3.    Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves
4.    The Addams Family
5.    City Slickers
6.    Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country
7.    Thelma & Louise
8.    Fried Green Tomatoes
9.    Hot Shots!
10. JFK

I used to watch a lot of movies from the 30s, 40s, and 50s, and look at thinks like how a shot was set up, the lighting, the sets, and special effects, and, of course, the story.  I do that today, too:  I’m more interested in how the story gets somewhere rather than knowing the spoilers and secrets.  Oh, and I always checked out the women’s outfits.  Go figure, right?

The thing that I always remembered about Here Comes Mr. Jordan, however, is that it made me cry.  It happened at the very end, when the guy who’s fallen in love with the girl gets moved into another body and doesn’t really remember her, and then they meet and sort of semi-reminisce about the people they knew–or the people they thought they knew.  The moment ends hopefully, but at the time it looks as if things are gonna end on a bummer note–

And that was when I cried as a kid, because I didn’t think it was fair that someone could get that close to loving someone and having it taken away from them.  I did the same thing last night:  I haven’t seen the movie in about twenty years, but the moment the movie got to that part, I started crying.  Actually I started sobbing pretty hard; crying is what I’m doing right now as I write these lines, and that’s the truth.

I’ve always been emotional; I’ve talked about this a few times on the blog.  I’ve always wanted to have a grand romance, but . . . nope, it’s never happened.  Not even that many dates, to be honest.  Just never been able to because of one damn thing or another, usually the ‘nother.  I keep hoping it’s going to happen in the twilight of the life, as it is said, but probably not.

The only place I can find it is in the works of others, or in my own.

I’ll admit something right now:  there have been times when some of the scenes I’ve written have taken their toll upon me.  Not the combat or being mean scenes:  nope, hurting is easy, and I know my characters will recover because–well, I know.  No, it’s the scenes where feelings are given and taken, and love is professed.  One of the hardest I’ve had to write was the “Worth of Love” scene in the hospital, where Annie tells Kerry that, and that he deserves to hear someone tell him they love him every day of his life–and he realizes, moments later, that Annie deserves the same.  Dammit, even now I’m getting weepy just thinking about that scene and writing this down.  It was hard to write, and it’s hard to read.

It’s hard because I wonder if that will ever happen to me.

I know there are going to be a lot of things that will hurt my kids throughout these stories.  I joked in the comments yesterday that one of the themes that will pop up is death, that before they’re out of school they’ll both be well versed in death, both from the receiving side and the dealing side.  Particularly Kerry:  there’s a situation in the fifth novel–yes, that far away!–where he jokes with all seriousness, “I’m really tired of this ‘tempting death’ shit, why can’t I do something else?”.  You can’t, kid, because death is the yang to your love yin.  You’re gonna love hard, and that’s gonna be balanced with getting into a lot of major crap that’s gonna leave you sitting on Death’s doorstep now and then.

But don’t worry, ’cause Annie’s gonna be right there with you sometimes . . .

You still get the grand romance, Kerry, with a girl who’ll tell you every day that she loves you.  Some of us would screw with death all the time if we could get that.

Believe me, kid.  I know.

Let Us Gather ‘Round the Reading

Here’s the thing:  about a week back I started playing with this video stuff, because why not?  All the cool kids are doing it, right?  The first one I put up in Facebook got a big response, and it got an equally good one here.  Then I kinda said something along the lines of, “You know, maybe I’ll put up a video of me reading from my novel.”  Really, I didn’t think people would take me seriously–

Ha!  Hahaha!

"And now we come to the part of the story where Walter White blows up a nursing home.  Are you ready?"

“And now we come to the part of the story where Walter White blows up a nursing home. Are you ready?”

If there’s one thing I’ve discovered, it’s that once you say something like that, it’s put up time, and you better be ready to go.  I decided that, you know, it might be fun to try at least once, and in the process I’ll learn along–like, you know, I might need a mic for some of this stuff.  But there’s the learning curve, yo, so don’t get to hatin’.  It’s all good fun.

Here it is, then:  I’m gonna lay it out for you.  This first video is an introduction of the Foundation and Salem, and a little about my two main characters.  It’s done late, about nine PM, after a long day of trying to upload a twelve minutes video and discovering that the software I normally used freaks out when that happened, and I had to get some other software.  This was one of those “learning curves” I was mentioning.

Video One:  The Intro.

 

The rest of the videos were performed on 30 July, 2014 (the one above was done on 27 July, 2014).  The second video sets up the where I am in the story before I start reading.  All I’ll say at this point is that it takes place during the Samhain dance.

 

Video Two:  The Setup.

 

Now, if you’re curious about what Annie and Kerry were wearing at the dance–and I know some people were–why, I have access to the same Internet that Kerry has, which means I can find the same things he does . . . though I’m sure he can use The Foundation’s search engine and get results a lot quicker.  Here you are, kids:  feast your eyes.

Though Annie isn't showing near that much cleavage.

Though Annie has a far different . . . necklace.

Yes, they went as Malcolm Reynolds and Inara Serra as seen in the Firefly episode, Shindig.  As stated earlier in the story, Annie’s gown didn’t show as much skin in the front and the back, but was otherwise a duplicate of that.

Now we get to the reading.  Since I didn’t want to deal with a long video that might take forever to load, I cut the reading into two parts.  Some of the sound quality may be iffy–after all, I’m not used to reading my own work out loud–and I did stumble in a few spots.  But you should still be able to follow along.

Here you go:

 

Video Three:  The Reading, Part One.

 

Video Four:  The Reading, Part Two.

 

And at the very end, I do a wrap up explaining something very unusual about this scene, and something that will likely surprise you.

 

Video Five:  The Wrap-up.

 

And since I don’t like to leave any stones unturned, here’s the song dedicated to Annie as she would have heard it on the dance floor of the Great Hall of Salem, echoing off the walls as she slow danced with her moyata polovinka while nearly every student–save for those making gagging motions at such a romantic display–and instructor looked on:

 

Like I said, that Annie’s, she’s a lucky girl.

 

Since I’m writing this the night before I post, I can say, “Back to writing tomorrow.”  And that’s when I start to get my George R. R. Martin on and get ready to kill some students.

Ya gotta show these kids who’s boss around here . . .

The World Beneath the Water

Lets roll out the new from last night, first.  It was “I’m Off Night,” last night, because after dinner and a little shopping I had zero creative energy to sit and do anything.  I knew what I wanted to write, but after a good hour of looking at the story, I finally said, “I think I’ll just sit and relax,” and did that until I started falling asleep at ten PM.  It’s not a bad thing:  sometimes you need to recharge your batteries, and if that means a night off, then take it.  I don’t have anything to do today, so it’s a good time to make up for last night’s lost time.

So what I’m going to talk about today is something completely different, and in the process of this discussion I’m going to bring up some things about a rather well known television show about zombies where no one ever says the word zombie.  There will be times when I’m gonna go all Ms. Spoilly McSpoil, so if you don’t want to read something that’s going to cause you to shake your fist at your computer screen while you scream, “Curse you, Cassie!” through clenched teeth, then read a book, listen to music, or watch some good movies–TCM will show Bonnie and Clyde, Jaws, and Alien back-to-back tonight, so you might want to keep that block open.

I have given warning–you know–

Or is that, "Don't Dead, Open Inside"?  Maybe I should check . . .

Or is that Don’t Dead, Open Inside? Maybe I should check . . .

There’s a meme that’s been rolling around Facebook of late, one that doesn’t actually involve some kid getting picked up for a DUI in Miami.  No, this is a picture of a huge iceberg, floating peacefully along while waiting for a ship to smack into it.  As you know an iceberg is pretty much under the water, a huge thing you never see, which is probably good because you’d likely get hypothermia swimming around trying to get a look-see.

The part above the water–the small part–is labeled “Movie”, while the part below the waterline is labeled “Novel”.  You know what they’re trying to say:  the parts you see in a movie are only a small part of the story that’s adapted from a novel–if, of course, the movie is adapted from a novel, and it’s not an original tale.

But this is often true.  One could point to any of the biggest movies of late–the Harry Potter films, the Lord of the Rings, the Hunger Games–had to leave out a lot of the story to get the tale up on the screen.  For some tales you need to do a four or five hour flick if you want to get everything on the screen–or do as was done with The Godfather, which took the early life of Vito Corleone and worked it up as a flash back around original material.  And in doing this, they still left out a lot of the story.  (Maybe due to threats of a lawsuit by a certain Italian-American singer and actor who’d won an Oscar who didn’t like a character in the novel who was Italian-American singer and actor who ended up winning an Oscar, all with a little help from his godfather.  Purely a coincidence, I’m sure.)

When you translate a novel to television, however, you are allowed a little more leeway, because you have, if you’re lucky, more time to develop your story.  Rich Man, Poor Man was a good example of the early television mini-series, where you could take your time moving as much of the story from the page to the screen, and stay true to the material.  Yes, some things don’t get translated well–maybe due to things that are going on inside a person’s head, or, depending on the times, there are things in the story that violate a network’s “standards and practices,” which is a fancy way of saying you’ll never get a particular scene past the censors.

This is pretty much alleviated by the advent of premium cable these days, where one can pretty much get away with showing so much that the joke has  become, “It’s not porn, it’s HBO.”  Yes, there are some things that HBO won’t show–in A Song of Ice and Fire our lovable Mother of Dragons was more like I’m Just Barely a Teen Mommy of Dragons, so she was aged up just a little for Game of Thrones.  And by “just a little,” I mean she could have appeared on 16 and Pregnant–with DRAGONS!  Which is a reality show I’d watch . . .

Basic cable has gotten into the act as well.  Breaking Bad was a true gem of drama, with a story and characters that was at both times compelling and revolting.  This was, however, an original show, and the story could develop as slowly and fully as the creator/producer liked.  And that brings us to the real iceberg of this tale, The Walking Dead.

"I don't speak with an English accent.  I'm from Kentucky; no one from the South speaks with an English accent."

“I don’t speak with an English accent. I’m from Kentucky; no one from the South speaks with an English accent.”

At the moment the AMC show is three-and-a-half seasons into a four season run, with a fifth promised.  It’s done very well in ratings and has a loyal, sometimes fanatical following, but that’s to be expected with any fandom.  The show follows this guy, Sheriff Rick Grimes, who wakes up from a gun shot-induced coma and discovers that, no, he’s not in Indiana, he’s in the middle of the Zombie Apocalypsetm, his family is missing, and everything he’s known has gone straight to hell.  In the process of the first episodes he finds his family, a group of survivors, and most of all his best-I-left-you-for-dead-and-I’m-bangin’-your-wife-friend and former partner from the force, Shane.

The show has followed the meta plot pretty closely:  they find Atlanta messed up, they find  Hershel’s Farm, they find The Prison, they find The Governor, they fight The Governor, they lose the Prison, and as of right now they’re On The Road looked for each other and safe harbor.  Since it’s been stated they run into the traveling trio of Abraham Ford, Rosita Espinosa, and mullet-sporting Eugene Porter, the metaplot will have them heading northward to the Alexandra Safe-Zone, where life won’t exactly become any easier for them.

I’ve only watched the show off and on throughout the years.  I usually haven’t had the time to watch the show, though these days I find there is more time in The Burg for relaxing, so I have watched episodes off and on.  I’ve also been an off-and-on fan of the comic, which has run since October, 2003, and is now up to Issue 120, with a confirmation of printing through Issue 132.

In terms of iceberging, this story is the perfect iceberg.  There is so much that has been set by the wayside in order to get the story on the screen.  About half of the Prison story was removed, for example, which could have been an entire season in of itself–instead of, say, a whole season of hanging out on The Farm.  That season could have seen Hershel losing two of his kids to his zombie kid in the barn, Tyreese’s daughter and boyfriend messing up their suicide pack, the beheading of Hershel’s twin daughters by crazy prisoners, Tyreese giving Rick a beatdown and throwing him off a second-story walkway, Carol deciding to do Death By Walker–

Wait, what?

Like I said, there were a lot changed to move the story from the comic to the small screen.  For one, they got rid of a few characters:  Hershel had a huge family, and he pretty much gets to watch six of them die almost right before his eyes–the last one, his son Billy, does when he takes a bullet to the head during the Woodbury assault on the prison. There are a few prisoners who make it as far at the Woodbury assault but no further, and one of two Woodbury defectors also meet their end at that point as well.  Dale–he of the famous show’s Dale Face–survives well beyond the Woodbury assault, only to be eaten by cannibals while on the road to Washington, D.C..  He is also the one who loses a leg, but since Dale was long-gone by the time of the show’s Prison Time, that leg bite went to Hershel.

Oh, and the Show Rick swears a lot less than that Comic Rick, but that’s because It’s Not HBO, It’s AMC, and while the show may be able to get away with a “shit” and “asshole” now and then, having Rick throw out the word “fucker” every so often wouldn’t go over well, and tell Michonne and Tyreese that the Woodbury folks “have fucked with the wrong people!” is pretty much HBO fodder.  And there’s a few sex scenes, because even when you’re surrounded by the undead, there’s always a moment for sexy time, right?

"This is my resting bitchy face.  I'm really not as bad as I'm made out."

“This is my resting bitchy face. I’m really not as bad as I’m made out.”

And then there is Lori.

If there is a part of this ‘Berg I find way the hell off, it’s the way a few of the women are portrayed.  In the original story, Lori is concerned, she’s protective of her family, she admits to having had sex once with Shane but no more, she makes it through Judith’s birth, becomes a protective mother–and then dies in about as gruesome a manner as one can imagine.  If it’s any consolation, her death–and the death of another–leads to the death of The Governor, but by that time Lori’s a Walker in Training and gives no shits.

The Show Lori, however . . . when your character is made out as the worst thing in a world full of undead looking to eat you and your loved ones twenty-four/seven, three hundred and sixty-five days a year, until the day you join the shambling herd, there is something seriously off.  By the end of Season Two most viewers, given the choice of having their face gnawed off by a hungry Walker, or having Lori ask them if they saw Carl in the house, would say, “Hey, Walker:  you want a side salad with my face?”  No way was she ever getting Mother of the Year awards, and given the narrowness of that field in the story, it’s a pretty damning indictment for her character.

The same thing was done with Andrea.  On the show she was something of an annoying pain in the ass who got separated from the group, was rescued by Michonne, went to Woodbury, hooked up with The Gov, waffled back and forth with the, “Is he good, is he psycho?  I can’t kill him, the sex was pretty good,” line, and ultimately ended up dead due to her own kind of stupid.

"No, I never shot a redneck by accident.  If I shoot him, he ain't gettin' up!"

“No, I never shot a redneck by accident. If I shoot him, he ain’t gettin’ up!”

This is more the way she really was:  kicking ass and forgetting the names as soon as they were dispatched.  And that scar on her face?  That’s from taking a rifle shot to the head, which sort of kinda put her out of action just a little in the final Woodbury assault.  But, in the comic story, Andrea’s still alive, still kicking ass, and pretty much Rick’s girlfriend at this point.  A lot of her personality in the original story got ported over to Carol, who, on the show, you learned not to be near if you had a bad cough.

I can understand some of the changes that were made:  it’s basic cable, you only have so many episodes in a season that can air, you wanna cut through as much of the Peyton Place stuff as possible and stick to the action, and you never know how long your actors can stay with you, so sometimes you kill off ones where they shouldn’t die, and keep around those who should have died because they’re good for the story, which is to say fans like them, and fans equal viewer, so go with that.

That, ultimately, is why you have the iceberg when you translate a story to a screen.  Reading is one thing, the visual medium another, and a lot of the people doing the viewing aren’t necessary going to be doing the reading.  There are a few exceptions to the rule–Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings instantly spring to mind, as well as a few superhero movies based upon other comics–but in the case of TV, it does seem that you have a lot more people who watch the story, and are surprised as hell when one tells them that what they’re watching was based upon a book, or in the case of TWD, a comic.

It’s an interesting thing to look at from the point of being a writer.  I’ve seen more than a few Facebook threads that go, “If your story is made into a movie, who do you want to play your characters?”  A better question may be, “If your story is made into a movie or television show, what would you be okay with getting changed or dropped?”  After all, your story would end up someone else’s iceberg.

And there’s so much water in which to hide.