Dreamscape Annie

Here we are, still living on a dream–

Wide Awake But Dreaming

Real life was out and about last night; I finally met up with a friend who I hadn’t spoken with in about a year, and we decided it was finally a good idea for use to spend some time together chatting  and acting like real people who have lives.  And it was a good chunk of time:  about three and a half hours of food, iced tea and Coke, food, and a shared dessert.  And during the time we made plans to head out to King of Prussia to go shopping because there are things we need like sweater dresses and cute cold weather boots, because we are women who like to look, well, cute.

"If we're gonna freeze in the winter, we're gonna look cute doing so!" “If we’re gonna freeze this winter, we’re gonna look cute while freezing!”

This meant that there wasn’t a huge amount of wordage last night, but I wanted to advance the scene, so about three hundred and seventy-five…

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Having Those Ups and Downs–

I hate getting sick.

As I mentioned in the post last night I came down with the cold I’ve been trying to hold at bay for the last week and a half, but it finally caught me.  I had trouble getting to sleep last night and was up at four in the morning.  I went into work, however–

Looking pretty good if I may say so myself.


But I was having issues getting through the morning and decided I’d not stay.  It was best to get something to eat and then home to rest.

This is the eating part.


So I’m resting trying to get better.  I will go to practice tonight, but only to watch: I’m not going to actually get on the floor and work with my teammates.  Because even if you aren’t practicing, you should know what the team is doing.

There, update complete.  Now to get back to resting…

Inside the Walls: Try It Baby, One More Time…

I know what you’re thinking:  you’re getting a blog post out now?  You know it, baby.  And the reason for this is I’ve been feeling under the weather for most of the day.  Even though I was out on a busy day yesterday–breakfast, practice, helping a teammate with new skate, going to a movie and catching up on old news with a former teammate–today the cold I’ve been fighting off for the last week decided it was time to hit.

So I’ve been coughing and sneezing and dealing with a runny nose that doesn’t seem to know when to stop.  I hope this means my sinuses will have dried out by tomorrow morning, otherwise I’ll need to deal with this shit at work.

As for writing–

I began writing this morning and ran out of steam after about four hundred words.  I was going to finish up during the afternoon, but feeling run down has a way of making you not want to do anything.  Finally, after eating, I cranked out another three hundred words and finished the scene.

That means the kids are back in the Great Hall and on their way to the hospital–right?



(The following excerpts from The Foundation Chronicles, Book Three: C For Continuing, copyright 2016, 2017 by Cassidy Frazee)


They quickly headed to the main hospital entrance and proceeded to the third floor, where Coraline, Deanna, Erywin, and Jessica were waiting for them still attired in the casual clothing they wore to dinner. Erywin spoke as they entered the main space. “Did you enjoy your time outside?”

Kerry nodded. “Quite a lot. It was nice being away from here even if it was a little cold.” She turned to Coraline. “I hope you don’t mind.”

“Not at all.” Coraline shook her head. “I can imagine you were getting a little buggy after having been kept here all day.”

“Just a little.”

“It was more than ‘just a little’.” Annie took Kerry’s hand. “I experienced her moods before and after going out. She enjoyed the experience immensely.”

“Well, how about a little more fun?” Coraline flashed a bright, wide smile. “Let’s try another transition before I put you guys down to bed for the night?”

Kerry nodded. “Yeah, why not?”

Annie touched the ginger girl’s shoulder. “It’s been almost a day; maybe you’ll have control now.”

“Let’s hope so.” Kerry pointed at the partitioned area about five meters away. “Change back there?”

While Kerry changed Coraline prepared the dais and recording equipment used in the six previous controlled transition attempts. By the time Kerry emerged from behind the privacy partition dressed in her smock and socks everything was ready for her. The school’s doctor perked up as her patient approached. “Since you know the drill we can get right to the test.”

“Right-o.” Kerry stepped up upon the dais as shook herself once as she relaxed. “Ready to go her, Doc.”

“Then let’s get to it. Begin recording.” Coraline’s voice shifted into the professional tone she used in the other attempts. “It’s 27 October, 2013, time 21:53. I am Doctor Coraline Gallagher and this is Attempt Number Seven of Kerry Malibey’s attempt to control her Bigender Gift. Kerry is in position and ready to go. As before, witnesses are Jessica

Kishna, Deanna Arrakis, Erywin Sladen, Isis Mossman, and Anelie Kirilova.” She looked in Kerry’s direction. “You ready?”

She nodded. “Ready as ever.”

“Then let’s get started.” Coraline stood upright and looked about the room before focusing on Kerry. “As before, attempt transition on my mark. And… three, two, one—Mark.”

Kerry closed her eyes on three, squared her shoulders on two, and slightly dipped her head on one. At mark her brow furrowed as she concentrated…


So it’s time for the test–the seventh.  And Kerry’s on the podium, dressed and ready to change.  And does she?


An eye blink later the boy who was at the Samhain Dance with Annie only twenty-four hours earlier stood on the dais.

For a moment no one said a word nor reacted. It was finally Kerry who noticed there wasn’t any hair lining his face before looking at his hands. After a couple of seconds of scrutinizing them his chortle sounded like an explosion. “Holy shit.”

While everyone behind her began exclaiming over the success of the voluntary transition, Coraline remained intent on the test. “Kerry—Kerry.”

He quickly focused. “Yeah?”

“We need to see if you can transition back to…”

He shrugged. “To a girl?”


“Okay.” He squared his shoulders. “Give the word.”

“You know what to do—” Coraline waved her hands to hush everyone. “Go on my mark.” She swallowed. “And… mark.”

In the same blink of an eye moment Kerry changed from the Ginger Hair Boy back to the girl he’d been for nearly an entire day. She reexamined herself. “I think I got this.”

Coraline began chuckling. “I think you do. Go ahead and—”

Kerry instantly transitioned back into his male self. “Change?”


Annie moved away from everyone and stepped up next to the dais. “How are you feeling?”

“Feeling?” Kerry stepped off the dais without permission and stood next to Annie. “I feel great.” He took her right hand and kissed it. “You might say, I feel like my back to my old self…”

There you go.  You knew it had to end sometime during this day, and we can finally get back to using “he” pronouns and not get confused if she is meant to be Annie or Kerry.

But, you know, the day isn’t quite over yet…

Imagining Into the Box

What’s it like to go walking in a dream? Let’s find out.

Wide Awake But Dreaming

Yesterday was hugely busy.  I had face zapping, both with laser and electric needles, and I also had my brows plucked.  The pain wasn’t that bad, though last night and this morning my chin–where I had the electrolysis performed–is oozing like mad; I’ll likely need to redo my makeup there again and again today.  Then there was programming at work and a little bit of fasting:  I only ate breakfast about seven-thirty, and then didn’t have dinner until almost twelve hours later.  And then, slowly but surely, I got back into the story and wrote nearly another five hundred and fifty words.

It is a fact I’m not writing as much right now.  I know why:  I’m tired and coming down off some depression, and that always affects my output.  I’m also doing a lot more editing as I go, but being tired makes getting the words out all that more…

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The Riot Act

I’ve been off-line for a while on the writing: even getting a new post out on the blog has taken a bit more time than I’ve spent in the past.  Part of the reason is due to commitments at work, and the few I have within my personal life.  One of those commitments involves my participation in roller derby. and as of last Monday, 27 November, that participation took a new turn.  No, I didn’t do anything spectacular: on the contrary, we made a huge shift in the way things are handled at practice…

Our last main coach, Anita Blade, retired as of the end of the last bout back on 12 November and after that we began looking for a new coach, a search in which I had a bit of a say.  After a week we had the people who were going to lead us into 2018 and they agreed to take up the challenge.

And who are these crazy people who decided to take up the challenge?

The first was someone I knew from my time doing practices in York.  Madhouse Mexi agreed to step in and help Ida with training the fresh meat and getting them certified as quickly as possible.  Mexi’s a good person and I like her, as she’s also ready to step in and show you where you’re doing something wrong before suggesting how to go about fixing the problem.  She let me know that even though I still need to do my 27/5 to certify, there are a few area where I’m “deficient” and I’m likely gonna have to improve those areas before the certification goes in and my derby name goes on.  I have no problem with this: she’s the coach, she’s seen me in practice, and she probably knows me better than me.

But our new head coach is Roxie Riot, who has a long history with HARD: in fact, she helped get our league started way back in the early days.  Yes, she knows a lot of the “old school” stuff, but she’s also interested in bringing us into the current way things are being played, and we’re starting to see that in the way we’re drilling.

About those drills…

There’s a lot more urgency in our drills these days.  We get out on the floor and we work.  We’ll spend a lot of time working on something, then rush over to the wall and get a drink before getting back on the track.  And I do mean rush: these days we have 30 seconds to get over, grab a drink, and get back to work.  No more fooling around and bullshitting.  Even though it’s the off-season, it’s still time to drill.

So in last week’s practices, numbers 65 and 66, a lot of time was spent on skills and learning how to defend in a lane.  (Lanes are a concept that have become important in derby, with one imagining four lanes, 1 through 4 from the inside to the out, going all around the WFDTA track.)  The first Monday it was the skills sessions, with everyone showing what they could do.  This is the area where I need work, particularly in plows and in endurance.  It was tiring, but I made it through, and in a way parts of it were a lot of fun–while other parts were a complete pain in the ass and frustrating as hell.  Wednesday was more about footwork and learning to cover the track–

It was also where I got hurt.

It’s been a while since I’ve been hurt at practice, but last Wednesday, the 29th of November, just one day shy of six months I’ve been in derby, it happened.  I was up trying to guard the track and Mexi was skating as a jammer.  When she came at me I tried my best to get in front of her, or at least to her side, and block her, and at the last moment I sort of lunged at her and lost my balance for my troubles.  I went down on my foot, but as I hit the floor my body went backwards while my leg seemed to move forward–

My right thigh muscle pulled and I felt it do so from my hip to just below my knee.

It hurt.  A lot.  I knew I made a sound but I wasn’t aware that I screamed as I hit the floor, something that was confirmed by several teammates.  Roxie was standing next to one of them and she told me she heard Roxie say something like, “I hope that’s not a broken leg,” which, when I think about it, might very well had happened.

But it wasn’t.  I’d pulled one of my thigh muscles enough that he hurt like hell, but it was still in one piece.  As we walked off the floor Roxie asked if I could still feel the muscle as we walked and I told her I could.  She said that was good, ’cause if I couldn’t feel it that mean I’d ripped something and I needed to go to the hospital.

No hospital for me, however: just a lot of rest.

We made it through last week and this week–Practices 67 and 68, which I’ll write about later–and we’re starting to pick up a lot of things.  I’m also starting to get even more comfortable on my skates, and just the other day I was side surfing for a bit, which surprised the hell out of me.

Before you know it, I may just be out there doing something nutty–

Like playing.

The Book of the Dead

Find out what *really* happens when you die:

Wide Awake But Dreaming

It’s a wonder what two and a half hours will give you.  If you’re me, seventeen hundred and forty-eight words, because that’s what I’ve written this morning for the first scene of Chapter Twenty-Four.  Here I am, down at the local coffee shop, and I’ve been rocking out on ABBA (stop laughing) and pounding out the words.  The scene is not only finished, but after a week of writing it’s a few hundred words shorter than the last chapter.  Really, this is not only the most I’ve written in one sitting, but this is the longest scene I’ve done in some time.

My numbers don't lie. My numbers don’t lie.

What I’ve done is finish up Helena’s Death March, only in her case she does know about death and being dead–and, as we’re slowly learning, being in the Land of the Dead.  And with her mention of the Veil, we start getting into the final…

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