A little different this morning, but I think you’ll like it all. Enjoy!
A little different this morning, but I think you’ll like it all. Enjoy!
So much going on today. For one, it’s the start of a three-day weekend here in the US, so expect lots of drinking and fireworks. I have thing I need to do, and I’ll likely spend most of Saturday getting those things done. I promise I’ll stay away from the booze–at least for the most part.
I’ve been busy with writing, but almost none of it with the novel. Last night was TV recap night and I spent about three hours getting out the work. Yes, I know, I should work on the novel. But I didn’t. Tonight I need to start catching up on my mermaid story–which I am close to ending–and then I’ll get into the novel.
The biggest thing I worked on last night… as you know, I am half of the writing team of The Snarking Dead, where my friend Rachel and I do our recapping thing. Yesterday we crossed the 100,000 views line, which is a good accomplishment after having the site up for only fifteen months. As such, we decided to pull the trigger and kinda go pro, going to a straight up .com tag so we can began modifying the site as we like and, most importantly, begin setting up ads to bring in some cash. We should also be able to change our metatags to get a better presence on Google, which could get us more hits.
Going pro, I am. Kinda. We’ll see how it works out and check out how our next year goes. Maybe whatever exposure we’ve gotten in the last fifteen months will lead to something more…
Now, on to the story.
Kerry’s being questions by someone who is not one of his friends and things could get interesting fast:
(The following excerpts from The Foundation Chronicles, Book Three: C For Continuing, copyright 2016, 2017 by Cassidy Frazee)
She leaned in toward him and spoke in a husky whisper. “Be careful.”
There was a loud snort from Gavino, who lightly elbowed Fidele. “Yeah, dude. Be careful or your girlfriend will get mad.”
“Shut up, Gavino.” Kerry jabbed a finger in his direction. “This has nothing to do with you.” He turned back to Franky. “And this has nothing to do with you, either. You trying to make a big deal out of something that happened a half a week ago. It’s over, it’s done. And I had nothing to do with what happened to Lisa. So just let it go.” He began to turn away, as did Annie. “I gotta get the class.”
Franky wasn’t about to let it go, however. “If you had nothing to do with it, then why did she crash?”
Kerry’s right at the end of his last nerve and Franky won’t let him go: he’s just gotta keep pressing those buttons. We know how Kerry is when he’s normally getting his buttons pushed, but this time he’s having this strange internal battle inside his body and the filters he usually keeps up are a little loose. And that’s never a good thing.
Franky wants an answer. Okay, then: you’re going to get one–and it’s one that’s coming on blast…
“Because your girlfriend is a shitty racer.” Kerry spun around and confronted Franky before Annie could say anything to dissuade him. “She races the same damn way every time: she likes to hang back on people until you start going into a corner that is tricky or dangerous, and then she dives in trying to take advantage and kill your momentum, because she figures the other racer would rather lose a few seconds on the course than crash because of her.
“And that’s exactly what she did to me last Saturday. She got behind me after damn near crashing a few other people on the Blue Line and started bird dogging my six. And I knew she was back there and I knew it was her, because this is what she does every damn race.
“Only this time I wasn’t going let her do that. That’s why every time she started setting up to dive in I threw a block at her. She tried doing at a Pentagon Pass, she kept trying to do that in Helter Skelter, and she tried doing every time thought South Side Slide and The Sweep.”
He took a step closer to Franky and jabbed a finger at him. “I didn’t care if everyone knew I was doing it, and I didn’t care if Race Control knew I was doing it, because I am sick of her shit out there when we race. I’m sick of her trying to wreck other people doing that, and I’m sick of her trying to wreck me doing it. So I made certain she wasn’t going to do it to me.
“And if you want to know why she crashed, I’ll tell you: because she’s not only a shitty racer, she’s also a shitty flier. When she pulled that last move on me in South Side Slide and I threw a block she decided she was going to keep coming—and when she saw I wasn’t going to give her any room to move up next to the safety enchantments, she tried to jerk her broom around to pass me on the left and lost control.” Kerry threw his hands up in the air to mimic an explosion. “Boom. And to use an expression that she dropped on me a year and a half ago, if she were a better flier she wouldn’t have crashed, but she isn’t: she sucks. End of story.”
Annie called it earlier: normally Kerry walks away from something like this because he just doesn’t have the time for this BS. But today–no. He’s not walking away. He’s getting right up in Franky’s face and telling him his girlfriend sucks and she’s a shitty racer and flier, so if anyone crashed Lisa, it was her.
And the fact that Kerry’s almost screaming this out in one of the most public areas of the school with a large part of the student body nearby gives you an idea of just how much he’s not in control of himself. This is why you should listen to your soul mate, kid, and not make deals with her.
Where does this lead? Well–
It can only lead to one place…
Little fanfare today as I’m sort of running behind. So, have at it, kids!
(The following excerpts from The Foundation Chronicles, Book Three: C For Continuing, copyright 2016, 2017 by Cassidy Frazee)
Kerry looked down as he scratch the side of his forehead for a few seconds, then spent a few seconds more looking about the room before turning back to Annie. “How about I make a deal with you?”
Annie took this to mean it was going to see Coraline right away. Still, she wanted to hear what he had to say. “I’m listening.”
“Let’s go to Sorcery and if I’m still acting the same way a few hours from now, then I’ll go to the hospital when we come back for lunch.” He gazed into her eyes as he smiled. “Is that okay?”
“Only if you accept the stipulation that if I think you’re growing increasingly unable to control your mood, I tell Helena I’m taking you to the hospital and we go.” The smile she returned was warm but serious. “Otherwise, I’m just going to keep after you until we see Coraline before leaving for the Witch House.”
Knowing this was an argument he wouldn’t win, he capitulated with the curt nod. “I accept.” Without say anything else he dove back into breakfast while, at the same time, he tried not to appear as if he felt like he was about to explode.
As soon as they were finished with breakfast they grabbed their book bag and backpack and headed out of the Dining Hall. As usual, they used one of the west doorways before heading across the Rotunda towards the North Passage leading to Åsgårdsreia Tower. In the past they would continue through the tower and beyond The Pentagon so they could take the path to the Witch House, but these days, when weather was good, they flew: Kerry on his broom and Annie on her own. And with the weather today being good, they both look forward to a short, pleasant flight to their class.
They were about five meters pass the staircase leading up to the hospital when the morning pleasantness ended with a shout. “Malibey.”
Annie turned as did Kerry and saw Franky Smith, Fidele Diaz, and Gavino D’Addario enter the Rotunda from the same hall they had exited moments before. The trio of boys stopped about three meters from them and stood staring for several seconds.
With nothing said after five seconds Kerry took it upon himself to be the first to speak. “You guys want something?”
Franky finally found his voice. “I want to know why you crashed Lisa last weekend.”
Just when you think Kerry may get through the day without being bothered on the way to class, here comes trouble. And it’s really not a good time for him, right? Plus, what’s this “You wrecked Lisa” business? Which even has Kerry puzzled–
It was Kerry’s turn to wait several seconds before replying. “I crashed her?”
“Yes.” Franky nodded. “You did.”
Kerry wasn’t in the mood for arguing. “I didn’t. End of story.”
Fidele pointed in Kerry’s direction. “I don’t think that’s true, Malibey, ‘cause everyone saw it happen.”
“Including Race Control?” Kerry shook his head as he sighed. “Who obviously didn’t see anything, because I never got called in for a discussion about wrecking her—” He turned back toward Franky. “Which I didn’t do.”
Annie felt as if there was something else going on at the moment. It wasn’t so much that Franky wanted to pick a fight about something that happened on the race course over the last weekend, as it seemed like the boys were confronting them in an effort to rattle Kerry. And she didn’t care for any of their reasons behind that premise. Normally Kerry wouldn’t rattle, but given what is going through this morning he just might.
Now, one might say someone’s pushing Kerry’s buttons, and we have some idea of what happens when that happens. But he’s never had his buttons pushed when he’s in this kind of mood, which could end up being… bad.
I guess we’ll see what happens tomorrow.
And I should have more to say as well.
After all the fun that was my big post yesterday–and the two post I also did to catch up on my mermaid story–I neglected to point out that I’ve gotten through the first scene of Chapter 13 and I’m into the next–
After this it’s Samhain and meetings with parents and dancing and all that fun stuff. But before we get there we have some other biz to follow up–and it involves Kerry. Actually, it involves Kerry having a hard time coping during Wednesday breakfast. Good thing he has a patient wife…
(The following excerpts from The Foundation Chronicles, Book Three: C For Continuing, copyright 2016, 2017 by Cassidy Frazee)
It was the Wednesday before the Samhain Races and Dance, and Annie was worried about Kerry. Not worried in the sense that she thought he wouldn’t be able to make the races on a he be unable to attend the dance, but worried in the sense that he wasn’t quite himself this morning.
Ever since greeting him as he left his room this morning, she found it impossible not to notice that he was moody, with his range of emotions seeming to hover somewhere between sullen and disgruntled. Except for those moments, however, when he not only seem to be back to his old self, in appeared to be somewhat over-exuberant. And just as soon as he would act that way, he returned to Sullen Kerry and stayed that way from the coven tower to the Dining Hall.
Though she hadn’t said anything at the time, Annie had noticed him starting to act this way while they were having breakfast last Saturday. She expected that some of his behavior was due to it being the second Saturday of the new race season and their coven would compete against Åsgårdsreia for the first time, but as the morning progressed Annie felt there was something else affecting his mood—something that had nothing to do with racing.
Seeing him the same way this morning, and knowing they weren’t facing anything out of the ordinary for the entire day, only one thing could account for his current mood—
She wiped her mouth after swallowing a spoonful of berries and yoghurt, then use the napkin to cover her mouth as she leaned slightly toward Kerry. “I think you need to see Coraline.”
His head whipped around quickly before he could take a bite of the corned beef hash he was quickly consuming. “WHY?” Once he realized he’d nearly shouted out the question, he set down his fork and spent a moment composing himself, so that when he spoke the next time his tone was calm and much softer. “Why?”
“I think your initial reaction should sufficiently answer that question.” She placed her right hand atop his. “My love, you’re not yourself. You been overly emotional since we left coven—” Annie leaned in close. “We both know why.”
Oh, boy, do we know why! I like to joke that I enjoyed puberty so much I went through it twice–and if you think about it, once you start on a hormonal regiment for transitioning, that’s exactly what happens–so I know a little of what Kerry’s going through. I had days where I would grow so angry I was ready to punch holes in walls and then run off to cry for a while because I felt I was totally worthless–and that all happened within the span of five minutes.
So Kerry is getting hit with the double puberty whammy here and he’s not dealing with it well. And he’s well aware of what’s happening once it’s pointed out…
Kerry drew in a breath as he rolled his eyes. “I wish to hell this would just end.” He gave Annie’s hand a squeeze as he took a sip of his juice. “I know that’s what’s causing me to act this way, but I’ve got a learn to deal with this. I mean, could be stuck like this for another three, four months, right?” He gave his head a quick shake. “I can’t go running the Coraline every time I start feeling moody.” He patted Annie’s hand. “I mean, you learned how to handle this on your own.”
Annie snorted. “Not always on by own. When I entered puberty Mama came to me more than a few times with something to help with the mood swings and the—” She glanced down toward her stomach. “Cramping.
“Which means I didn’t learn how to adjust to these things on my own: I had help from my mother. And since your own mother isn’t here—not that I think she would help you if she were—there are others here to take her place. And Coraline is one of those people.” Annie looked into Kerry’s eyes with a playful yet stern look. “Which is why I think you should go see her.”
Could you imagine if this were happening at Casa Malibey over Yule, when Louise and Kerry are at home alone?
(Louise) “Kerry? Kerry?”
(Kerry?) “WHAT? What, MOM?”
(Louse) “There’s no need for you act that way, young man!”
(Kerry) *Begins crying* “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it! Why are you yelling at me!?”
So much fun. And it’s not like Kerry could say, “Mom, I have girl hormones driving me crazy!” because Louise would probably think this was the result of some witch bullshit on the part of her son and withdraw even more. Poor kid just can’t win.
After having it pointed out that Kerry’s on the verge of losing it, this means he’s gonna go see Coraline–right? Right?
This wasn’t supposed to happen for a few weeks, but given that I’ve been putting out as many as four posts a day in the last couple of weeks, it was inevitable that the date was gonna get pushed up.
What am I talking about? This right here. Post number two thousand, five hundred, or 2,500 if you prefer. All in the raw.
Normally I do something special for these posts and I’d actually promised that for this post, but it’s not like I planned anything. Not like when post 1,000 came up almost three and a half years ago at the end of January, 2014. There’s a lot that’s happened since that post came out–some of which I’m about to go over.
For one, I didn’t exist. At least not this way:
As much as I spoke of transitioning–or how little I did at that time, which was more the case–I hadn’t actually, really, truly begun the process to actually become Cassidy. I was working in Harrisburg and was considering walking the walk, but it wasn’t until two months later, 30 March, 2014, that I actually started going out in public. And it wasn’t until almost another two months later, on my birthday, 2014, by that I actually showed what I looked like:
When people say, “You’re changed,” in this case, I have. I’m still somewhat surprised when I see pictures of myself back then and realize just how far I’ve really come.
Also, when I took that last picture, I’d learned only a week or so before that my contract with the state–sorry, Commonwealth–of Pennsylvania had been extended another years, so I’d continue living in Harrisburg at least until the middle of 2015. That was two years ago, and it looks as if I’m here to stay until the “Commonwealth” decides to get ride of me. Which I hope isn’t for a while ’cause I love living in Harrisburg. It took 55 years to get here, but I’m finally sorta living the life I was meant to live.
And then there’s the writing. Anyone remember what I was doing right before post 1,000? That’s easy to check:
(Excerpt from The Foundation Chronicles, Book One: A For Advanced, copyright 2013, 2014, by Cassidy Frazee)
The dining tables and chair were gone, replaced by large, comfortable reading chairs, love seats, sofas, and even—yes, there were even a few huge beds capable of holding a half dozen students easily, as a couple already were. Scattered around the hall were a few large carpets covered in throw pillows that reminded Kerry of the classroom in Memory’s End where they met with Professor Arrakis. The light was down in the hall, but there were small, brighter spots here and there coming from floor lamps set alongside a few of the large chairs and love seats.
As they entered the hall Kerry took in the relaxed but excited environment. With each chair, sofa, or bed there was at least one table where one could set snacks, drinks, and various forms of entertainment. Three girls to his right, sitting on a sofa and an easy chair, were playing cards on a coffee table made of a dark wood. Another boy was sitting in one of the large chairs reading, a drink sitting upon the end table to his right. The bed with the six girls had high, narrow tables at what he guessed was the head and the foot of the bed, and while they talked they were also munching on snacks kept in bowls on both tables.
Something caught Kerry’s eye: a group of five kids, three boys and two girls, sitting on the floor around a low, circular table. One of the boys had his tablet at his right and a cardboard screen in front of them, while the students had sheets of paper and dice laid out before them. “Hey, those guys over there are—”
“Oh, look.” Annie tugged on Kerry’s arm and pulled him along. “There’s the perfect spot.” She dragged towards a sofa located near the center of the hall, one facing the east wall. It wasn’t alone: there was also a table at each end of the sofa, an easy chair facing north and south, and a low coffee table in the middle of it all. Kerry was surprised no one was already sitting there—then again, there were maybe seventy people in the room and it looked as if there were plenty of empty places remaining.
That was the last excerpt I published before I hit post 1,000–it was actually post 998 if you need to know, and you can read it all here. Yeah, it was the end of the first week of school at the Salem Institute of Greater Learning and Education, better known to all students and readers alike as the School of Salem, and a couple of little witches were off to enjoy the school-wide pajama party known as the Midnight Madness. Back then I was about 125,000 words into the first novel and it would be another year before that experience came to an end.
And since then? Well, my kids also made it out of their B Levels and are now about 170,000 words into their C Levels after a little more than ten months of writing. Yes, it’s true: I’m writing a bit slower than I did on the last two novels. At the same time I’ve been busy–
First working on a political campaign:
Then I got into protest:
All that political stuff, meeting and marching, takes up time, and I only have so much of that to spread around in a day. It’s a trend that’s going to continue for a while, no matter what.
As for writing… In the last couple of years I’ve branched out into writing TV recaps as well, because why not? It’s not like I have anything else going on, right? In the last two years I’ve started down that road and it does keep me busy, so much so that sometimes I’m writing more recaps than novel. Sure, it seems like something that is kind of a pain in the butt for people who are following my writing, but it’s something that I enjoy doing and will likely continue doing for a while more. Also, exposure–something that could kill me just like on the south flank of Everest, but what the hey? Gotta take that chance.
Am I ever gonna publish? Who the hell knows? Sometimes I even wonder if I’ll get anywhere, but I keep trying. It never hurts to try and the payoff can be rewarding.
Am I gonna keep blogging? You know, it seems like every few months I feel like I’m about to kick this sucker away and give it up. Biggest reason for that is this feeling that I don’t have much to say anymore. Call it burn out, call it depression, call it for dinner if you like, but that feeling is there. And yet… every time I want to walk away I get pulled right back in, just like a certain mafia Don who wanted to quit the biz. I’m told that I’m doing things that people notice, and while I’m sometimes damned to see what those things are, I’ll trust others to keep me honest. ‘Cause when you’re too close to the action, you often can’t see the whole picture.
Future then? Keep on swimming and keep on writing. Because at this point I don’t know what else to do. If I didn’t put words to computer paper I’d likely become more feeble and ignorant than I am now, and I don’t need that. Most of all I can’t quit because that’s killing a dream, and I’ve already had so many dreams die that I can do that to one more.
That leads here, which is where I usually have a quote from Doctor Who, because I’ve done that the last few “special posts” I’ve put up, and it seems like a good thing to do now. And both quotes go back to what I just said about killing dreams. We need our dreams, even if we know they will never come to fruition, because when you least expect it, they do come true. That happened with my move to Harrisburg and my transition: I never expected the outcome that I live through today, because, as my best friend once told me, how do you know what’s coming tomorrow. So:
“I am and always will be the optimist. The hoper of far-flung hopes and dreamer of improbable dreams. The wheels are in motion. Done.” Doctor Who, The Almost People.
Keep it real, but at the same time never give up that your hopes and dreams are going to fade before you. Always hold close to your heart and mind that tomorrow is the day when it all changes for the better and you finally see that dream come true.
At the same time:
“Be strong. Even if it breaks your heart.” Doctor Who, Dark Water.
Shit is always gonna keep piling up and there are times when it feels like you’re gonna take that leap over the balcony because you can’t take it anymore. By now, I know heartbreak, so this is a no-brainer. It’s not always easy to be strong, but no one else is going to be strong for you, so it falls to each of up to say to hell with it and continue moving on.
Maybe for another thousand blogs posts.
You can never tell.
It was such a long… weekend. Seriously. It seemed to take forever to get in everything, and last night it felt like I was constantly going from six in the morning until ten last night. But that’s all done and it’s Monday–
Which means I’m right back at work.
Seriously, I need one of those retreats where I just sit and write and relax. Maybe next year? At least find something on the ocean where I can set the laptop and listen to the waves crash while I figure out how to torture my kids.
But I’m not torturing them anymore–at least not in this chapter. Seems Phee has a few words to say on that subject–
The Phoenix stood silently for a moment then slowly clapped her hands. “Bravo. I’m impressed.”
Annie’s face twisted around into a half smirk, half smile. “By?”
“When one says some of the things I’ve said to you to other kids your age, the common response is to deny everything I’ve said, because who wants to admit, at least at your age, that they’re not nearly as perfect as they’d like to believe? But not you guys.” The Phoenix gave a soft smile as she shook her head. “You both might’ve been pissed off and upset by what I said, but you never once denied my words. That’s a sign of maturity, being able to know when you have flaws and that you can work towards correcting them.”
Going all the way to the early days in Russel Square, what has been the ongoing mantra? “It feels like we’re being tested.” And when you get to school, who’s the biggest tester around? I mean, getting into the school requires having to get your shit messed with by this old spirit, and who knows what else she does when she’s bored?
Really, though: the whole conversation has been all about the button pushing. And those they didn’t like it, Annie and Kerry never felt back on the, “That’s not true!” line. Got a problem? Sure do. And I know it, so let me work on it. And she likes to hear that.
This means she has but a few last things to say…
She stepped closer to the couple before turning to Annie. “I know how you feel about your parents, and it’s safe to say that one day you and your father will resolve your differences. It’s not going to happen overnight, but…” She playfully tossed her head to one side. “Eventually it will happen.
“As for you—” She turned towards Kerry. “I’d like to tell you everything is going to work out to your satisfaction, kiddo, but I can’t. It’s likely to get worse before it gets better—but just like with your significant other, in time you’ll work everything out.” The Phoenix patted Kerry on the shoulder. “Just remember: when you look like me, don’t forget the people you can turn to for help.”
He gave Annie’s hand a squeeze. “I won’t.”
“And with that—” The Phoenix half turned to her left and looked out upon Selena’s Meadow. “My business here is finished, Seer.”
Deanna took two more steps before stopping just short of the entrance to the ghostly pavilion. “As soon as I was brought here that became my immediate assumption.”
The Phoenix nodded. “They’re all yours, Deanna. Take care of them: you’ve got a couple of good students here.” A moment later the spirit winked out of sight with nary a sound.
Deanna joined her students in the pavilion. “Are you okay?”
Annie nodded slowly. “I’m fine.”
Kerry mimicked her actions. “As am I.”
“I’m glad.” Deanna sat on one of the long, translucent benches. “Now, if you wouldn’t mind, would you care to tell me what actually happened?”
Both kids looked at each other and started laughing, leaving Annie to respond. “Not at all, Deanna. It’s good to talk of these things…”
It’s not many kids at Salem who can say they’ve had a talk with the School Protector and walked away with only hurt feelings. Before you know it they’ll be hanging out and telling tall tales. Or not. More likely the later.
Anyway, start of a new chapter tomorrow and all sorts of fun is about to go down…
Believe it or not I’ve been on a writing tear of late. I week ago today I wrote over five thousand words, and since then I’ve actually been averaging about fifteen hundred words a night one I do write. This is what happens when you’re writing two stories and a bunch of recaps at the same time: you just start adding up the words. And while I’m not likely to have a five thousand word day today, I do anticipate getting close to two thousand done before I head off to dreamland about 11 PM tonight.
It’s kind of an interesting situation, all this writing for the hell of it. I can hear few people I know saying, “Why don’t you get paid for this?” I would love to get paid for it; it’s just that I don’t. Maybe one day I will, but for right now I don’t. And if you have to wonder why I continue to do so much when I’m not getting paid, I think your attitude proves that you could never understand why I do the things I do.
That’s an attitude that Kerry should take up. Maybe he’s going to really soon.
And speaking of Kerry… A lot of people–okay, well, a few–sorta figured out what’s on Kerry’s mind in terms of being bothered by this whole gender transition thing. Because by now, you know my boy well. But it goes a little deeper than that–
He released a long, slow sigh. “If I transitioned at home I wasn’t totally worried that my parents were going to find me—I mean, it was possible. The more I thought they might see me, though the more I began wondering—” He finally looked up at Annie. “What if my mom liked me better that way?”
Annie didn’t need additional information to understand the basis of Kerry’s fear. She was intimately aware of the taunting and semi-abuse he received as a child, but of all the things his mother had stated, the one that seem to have bothered Kerry the most was his mother’s declaration that she wished she had never had Kerry and that she had given birth to a girl instead.
And now that he was moving closer to the day when he’d get to fulfill his mother’s wishes, Kerry was worried that of all the people who may find themselves disturbed by his change of gender, his mother wouldn’t be among them.
Annie rested her forehead against his and looked into his eyes. “Your mother will have to get used to the idea that no matter how you look, you are still the same person.” She gripped his hands as she straightened. “And you need to understand that as well. Stop worrying about what we see—” She placed her hand over his heart. “And remember what’s in here.”
Kerry nodded slowly. “I tried to, but it’s so hard. Every time I imagine my mom seeing me like that, I just—” He closed his eyes just before a tear trickled down his right cheek. “I keep thinking she’s gonna start making comparisons and she’s gonna wanna—”
“Stop it.” Annie gave both his hands a shake. “You’re letting an irrational fear of something that has not happened take you over.” She glanced to her left before returning to her soul mate before her. “You do remember what we’re discussing?”
He drew in a breath as he nodded. “Flaws.” Kerry brush tears away from his eyes and cheeks. “And that’s when I have: fears about things that haven’t happened. And I just keep blowing them up into problems before they ever pop-up.” He brought his breathing under control and nodded twice. “And then I get to where I don’t even want to talk about them because I’m afraid of how silly they’re gonna sound.”
As it sorry been pointed out, Kerry desires affection, particularly from his mother. Of course, now that there’s an extremely good likelihood that he’ll soon turn into the sort of person that his mother wanted so badly, he’s worried that he’s going to get that affection for all the wrong reasons. And that brings up the reason for the title of today’s post.
Everybody of a certain age–that is to say, old like me–probably remember The Smothers Brothers, who had an extremely successful comedy variety show on CBS in the late 1960s. And believe it or not, they were actually kinda cutting edge for their time, as well as being somewhat political. In fact, despite being successful, the programming heads at CBS yank their show off the air because they were just talking way too much shit about the War in Vietnam. Censorship: It’s Not a New Thing.
A big part of their act consisted of the brothers getting into a “fight” while performing, leading brother Tommy to yell at brother Dick, “Mom always liked you best!” Yeah, it doesn’t sound like it would be right up there with one of George Carlin’s bits, but for the 1960s it was good enough. And it usually came after some considerable witty back and forth which eventually led the exasperated Tommy into in coherency.
So now you have a conundrum: what happens when you discover that mom likes your sister better than she likes you, the brother? Normally that leads one to the sulk a lot–I know it did with me. The real bitch here is, what you do when you’re not only the brother, but also the sister? Imagine the sort of inferiority complex that’s going to build up a new when you find yourself dealing with being ignored as one gender, but being accepted as another. That’s some fairly heinous shit to have to deal with, especially when you’re thirteen. Puberty is hard enough without having to deal with parental favoritism of one of your genders over the other.
Then again, we’ve also established that Louise Malibey is a stone bitch, so there’s also a distinct likelihood that she won’t give a shit what gender her child is sporting, she’s still gonna be cold and unfeeling towards that child. And maybe even more so because she knows that no matter how her kid looks on the outside, inside they’re still a goddamn witch. And so far she’s not suffering that shit.
But after all this crap, the kids finally have something to say to The Phoenix about this examination of their flaws–
Still holding on to Kerry’s left hand, Annie turned to face The Phoenix. “Whatever issues I have with my father, they do not override the fact that I love him. And I will not allow those issues to interfere with that love.” She slowly shrugged. “Whatever flaws I have, in time I will correct them.”
Kerry sniffed back the last of his tears. “I know I’m screwed up.” He also turned to face The Phoenix. “I’m trying to get past my problems. It’s not easy for me, because I’m too used to keeping things to myself.” He nodded towards Annie. “At least I have someone to remind me that I don’t need to keep quiet.”
Basically, screw you Phoenix, we know we got flaws, we know we’re screwed up, that doesn’t mean we can’t work through them and make ourselves better. And in the case of both kids, it can be argued their flaws are more like minor psychological issues–although, may be an Kerry’s case it’s a bit more than minor. Either way, it sounds as if they both reached the point with are not interested in listening to anymore of The Phoenix’s bullshit.
And how’s Phee going to take this attitude?
I guess you’ll find out tomorrow.