The End of the Ice Princess

Eighteen twelve.  Not only an overture which we can get behind, but how many words my scene finally came to when I ended it last night.  I figured that after eighteen hundred words I’d said what needed to be said, and wrapped it up.  Why did I do that?  Because you don’t stretch out a scene any further than what needs stretching, and I’d reached the right point to move onto what comes next.

Before that, however, here are my word counts for the last three nights of writing:


Words 07/26/2015: 688
Words 07/28/2015: 503
Words 07/29/2015: 621


As you can see I skipped a day there because of electrolysis, work, and a dinner engagement exactly in that order, but I stayed pretty steady throughout the whole process, average six hundred words a night.  Oh, and last night I didn’t get home until about six-thirty because I stopped off for drinks and chat, my first time to do that in a long time, which means by the time I was out of the shower and feeling human again, it was close to eight before I began writing.

Oh, an one other milestone:

It's just one more, it's eleven . . . hundred.

It’s just one more, it’s eleven . . . hundred.

Yes, I’m only about eleven hundred words from reached one hundred thousand, and if my writing skills hold up tonight as they have this week, I’ll likely hit that mark Friday night.  I will try, however, to get closer to a thousand words tonight, and if I manage that, then I’m going to try and push it over the top.  I don’t know, but I do know there is dancing in the next scene.

As for this scene?  Well, Annie mentions a few things about herself . . .


(All excerpts from The Foundation Chronicles, Book Two: B For Bewitching, copyright 2015 by Cassidy Frazee)

Almost five seconds passed before Annie nodded slowly. “This last summer was far more difficult than I expected.”

Deanna said nothing; not asking questions at this moment was the key to getting her to open up. “Please tell me.”

A moment of hesitancy crossed Annie’s face as she leaned into the arm of the sofa before she relaxed. “You told me last year that being with Kerry in person was different than it had been when we’d met in our dreams—”

“I remember that discussion.”

“I didn’t believe it at the time, and I right up until I arrived home I thought getting through the summer would be a strange, but that it wouldn’t be hard.” She shook her head. “I was wrong; I missed him horribly. I’d wake up in the morning and expect to find him outside my door: I’d go to bed at night wishing he was there to kiss me goodnight and tell me he loves me.” Annie stared at her hand in her lap. “We wrote to each other constantly and managed to meet in our dreams twice, but it wasn’t enough. I wanted to be able to touch him, and I couldn’t.

“Then we met in London for those few hours, and . . .” Her voice caught in her throat. “I know Helena and Erywin meant well, but being with Kerry for those few hours, and then leaving him behind for at least another month—it was maddening. I just—” She sighed softly. “That was when I discovered . . .”

Though Deanna’s sight was well developed, she didn’t need it to anticipate where the conversation was headed. “You were like any other girl in love?”

“Yes.” Annie chuckled. “I always knew I was, but there was more. Until that time we spent in London, I didn’t realize I had—” A touch of redness came to her cheeks as she said the word. “Urges.”

Deanna tilted her head slightly. “Really?”

“Yes. Not often, but there was one time, I was sleeping in the main house, and before I got up I—” She gave a little smile as she shrugged. “When I went out to my sitting room my mother was there with breakfast. I think she may have heard me.”

After a few years of being a coven leader and a counselor, of dealing with the drama of tweens and teens growing up in her coven, of listening to students who’d fallen into and out of love, of giving guidance and comfort to those who found themselves in their first sexual encounters—she’d learned to keep her emotions off her face—except this time she couldn’t. Deanna’s smile was wide and bright. “Annie. I’m . . .” She patted Annie’s hand. “You are definitely growing up. I’m pleasantly surprised.”

“That I’m not an ice princess as others have said?” She was well aware of the things others in her level had said of her during the last school year, and not all of them were as complementary as “lovey dovey”.

“I’ve always known you were passionate; all you’ve done is confirm your passion.” Deanna nodded towards a group of people off to Annie’s right. “Maybe you’d like to speak with someone else about this?”

She turned and saw a group of students speaking with Headmistress Laventure and Coraline. She’d overheard Helena saying that the headmistress was coming as Madam Marie Curie, but she was unsure of Coraline’s costume. She thought she might be Merida from the Brave movie that came out over the summer—what with the bow and quiver of arrows Coraline had strapped to her back—but she looked like she was dressed for winter, and as far as she knew the movie didn’t take place in that season. She made a note to ask Kerry when he was finished and returned to her talk. “I would rather not speak with her right now.” Annie glanced over her shoulder and saw Kerry coming off the dance floor. “Especially right now . . .”


Urges?  Annie has urges?  Yep, big time.  Must be hormones.  I mean, why should the boys have all the fun?  If anything it’s probably noted more at Salem because there are so many girls.  But Annie maybe getting caught by her mom?  That is probably something that Mama Kirilova has never had to deal with, and I imagine that Annie probably had to whistle up all her willpower to keep from sporting Guilty Face when she came out of her bedroom to use the bathroom.

So what does an Ice Princess say when her mom gives her that “Were you doing something in there?” look?

"Morning, Mama.  I was, um . . . defrosting."

“Morning, Mama. I was, um . . . defrosting.”

At least Frozen won’t come out for a few years in story time, so Annie doesn’t have to worry about coming to the Samhain Dance as Elsa–yet.

Tonight, it’s time to get some dancing on . . .

The Only Ones

Well, now, it was writing time, but I wouldn’t say it was one of my finest moments.  It’s so difficult to get back into the swing of things when you’re tired and you know you have a few thousand words ahead of you to get done before you get into your personal stuff.  Yeah, busy weekends mean it’s busy catch up time on the novel front.

This means I was able to get just a few words over five hundred into the bank before I decided they weren’t coming any more and it was time for bed.  That’s not a lot, but I think–think, mind you–that things will go better tonight.  Besides, I have a goal to shoot towards–

Probably the only "close to six figures" I'll ever see.

Probably the only “close to six figures” I’ll ever see.

Yes, I’m one thousand, seven hundred, and fifty-five words away from hitting one hundred thousand words for the third time, and I’d like to hit this by Friday night, because that will stay with my current rate of cranking out about five thousand words a week.  As if it, it looks as if I’ll reach that milestone in the next scene, because this one is just about over.

So . . . Annie talking about sex–you know, that sex.  When I was last here I left off with a question by Deanna that, to me, feels like a good place to start up once again–


(All excerpts from The Foundation Chronicles, Book Two: B For Bewitching, copyright 2015 by Cassidy Frazee)

Deanna chose her next words carefully, because she didn’t want to make Annie overwrought. “Do you think it’s possible that either you or Kerry will have—sex with someone else before your marriage?”

Annie’s calm expression never changed. “No.”

Deanna leaned towards her. “I can understand you knowing your feelings, but Kerry—”


“You don’t think he would?”

This time Annie’s calm began to shift into one of slight disbelief. “I said no, Deanna.” Before the seer could query the matter further, Annie shifted around so she was looking over the back of the sofa. “Do you see Kerry out there?”

Deanna spotted him right away, dancing in his own clumsy, flapping about with the rhythm way with Nadine. “Yes.”

“You noticed how Nadine asked me if she could dance with Kerry?”

“How could I not?”

“She did that because she respects our relationship, because she respects us both—” Annie turned back to her normal seated position so she was once again facing Deanna. “She did that because she respects me, because she didn’t want to impose herself by violating our personal boundaries.

“But did you notice what Kerry did? He waited to see what I would say. If I’d have said no, he’d have been as good with that answer as he was when I said yes. He did that because he not only loves me, but he respects me.” She slipped her hands together and rested them against her thighs as she now leaned towards the seer. “There is only one girl Kerry will lose his virginity to, and I am that girl. There are no others.”


I know what you’re saying:  “She’s only thirteen, how the hell does she know that?”  Because, I know, hormones and all that, Kerry has them, and they’ve been known to lead even the strongest willed boy astray.

But Annie is a different kind of thirteen year old girl.  There is something I know that you don’t–which is my normal mantra, “I know something you don’t”–and this very adult understanding of her soul mate might seem strange in other girls her age–who are often losing their shit over the fact that some guy they like was seen hanging out with another girl–it’s not strange for Annie.

And in case you’re wondering, “When will we learn why Annie is so different from other thirteen year old girls?” I can tell you:  sometime in the beginning of the D Level novel.  Say . . . four hundred thousand words from now?  Hang in their, kids.

This last statement has Deanna asking another question . . .


She appreciated Annie’s conviction in feeling that Kerry will be her first, and he hers, but Deanna knew there were other pressures at school that could skew that dream. “You don’t believe there’s anyone here that could tempt him?”

Annie glanced over her right shoulder towards where Emma stood speaking with a group of girls. “There are no other distractions—” She turned back to Deanna and deftly crossed her legs. “—worth mentioning.”


Ding, Ding, Ding.  What’s that, Emma?  Oh, that’s the elevator, ’cause you’re not on the same level as Annie.  In short, she just laid a bit of, “Bitch can suck it,” smack on her, and that’s that.  She gives zero shits about The Ginger From Bolder and doesn’t consider her a concern.  And in case anyone has any questions–and I know they’ll come–watch Chapter Twelve.  It’s coming.  Yes, it is.

Where does this leave us?


Deanne decided not to press the issue further because she knew the discussion would return to the same point each time, and now that Annie’s beliefs were out in the open, there was little point in continuing to examine them. “If that is true, then we’re back at the beginning: you’re afraid you’ll both falter and give into weakness.”

Annie cast her sight downward for a moment. “Yes. That second vision seemed to indicate the possibility exists.”

“But you’re forgetting something—” Deanna held up her finger for emphases. “The second vision could be wrong. You weren’t far enough along in that vision to witness the outcome, so it is entirely possible that you weren’t going to engage in . . .” She cleared her throat. “That act.” Deanna expected the girl to respond, but saw something in her body language that indicated that whatever she was going to saw, it wouldn’t come without prodding. “You felt something, didn’t you?”

Almost five seconds passed before Annie nodded slowly. “This last summer was far more difficult than I expected.”

Deanna said nothing; not asking questions at this moment was the key to getting her to open up. “Please tell me.”


Yeah, tell us, Annie; tell us how difficult this last summer was.  Because it sounds like The Chestnut Girl isn’t completely immune to her own feelings, which is why she’s having this conversation.

Looks like I have a summer to recollect ahead of me . . .

Frank and Forward

All the tunnel visiting and writing is out of the way, and the shopping is done, and the writing . . . well, it started.  In a way, that is, because yesterday I was tired.  Hiking and visiting and just generally spending the whole day doing something had a strange way of taking things out of me, and for most of Sunday I was sort of out of it.  Plus, I’m going in for electrolysis this morning–I actually leave about seven-fifteen AM to go to my appointment at about eight-thirty–and when I’m through with that horror show it’s back here and off to work, and then dinner with a friend tonight–

Suddenly I’m such the social butterfly.

Also, The Walking Dead Season 1 was on, and I was snaking like crazy.

Also, The Walking Dead Season 1 was on, and I was snaking like crazy.

But I did write last night, though my mind was elsewhere most of the time, and it was tricky trying to get my thoughts together.  I managed six hundred and sixty-eight words, but if you saw the cutting and pasting I needed to bring the scene into line with what I’d heard in my head–oh, man, such a strange thing.  This is why writing on a computer is good, ’cause I would have went through a whole buttload of paper if I were typing this out.

It was a good thing I figured out where these scenes were supposed to go ahead of time.

It was a good thing I figured out where these scenes were supposed to go ahead of time.

What follows is Annie and Deanna have a talk to discuss what’s on Annie’s mind, because by now Deanna is emphatic to Annie’s feelings, and she can tell when Annie wants to talk.  Or did Deanna see this conversation coming ahead of time and knew they were going to talk before they spoke?  That’s the crazy thing with seer:  you can never tell if they’re listening to you because they want to know what you’re going to say, or they already know what you’ve said and they’re being polite.

Anyway . . .


(All excerpts from The Foundation Chronicles, Book Two: B For Bewitching, copyright 2015 by Cassidy Frazee)

Annie reached the furniture setting where Kerry and she spent their time during the Midnight Madness. She waited for Deanna to settle herself on the love seat before she sat down on the sofa—their sofa. They’d started to think of this setting as theirs—their chair, their tables, their love seat—but it was their sofa they loved the most. So much love has transpired upon this sofa. She ran her right hand in a small, slow circle against the leather next to her. There is so much more that will happen here as well . . .

Deanna set her sword and shield on the coffee table, then set back and crossed her legs. “There is something on your mind.”

Annie wasn’t surprised that Deanna’s words came out as a statement and not a question. After a year Deanna knew Annie, knew her moods, and was aware of when she wanted to speak privately. “I’ve thought a great deal about our visions of late; the visions Kerry and I have experienced.”

Deanna folded her hands into her lap. “I can see how you would. I would think it almost impossible not to give it much thought.” She set her right elbow against the love seat arm and held her chin with her thumb and finger. “Is there something in those vision that bothers you?”

“Not so much bothers me as . . .” Annie pressed her lips against the back of her fingers while she paused in thought. “Is it possible for part of one vision to be overridden by something that happens in another?”

While Deanna was Salem’s expert on visions, she wanted more information before giving her educated opinion. “You’re referring to something changing in first vision?”

Annie didn’t acknowledge the seer’s question, though she appeared to remain in thought for a few seconds more. “Last year when Kerry and I spoke to Coraline and you about the specifics of our first vision, we mentioned that we knew our wedding night would be our first time . . .” She took a quick, short breath. “Doing that.”

Denna nodded once. “Having sexual relations.”

“Well—” A strange smile spread across Annie’s face. “I like to think of the act that lay ahead of us that night as engaging in physical love.”

“I see what you mean—or I believe I do. Can you elaborate?”


Doing that.  The thing that Annie has said they–Kerry and her–shouldn’t talk about.  But Annie knows what she’s talking about, and what she’s bending Deanna’s ear about is, you know, getting down with hubby-to-be-who’ll-was-actually-hubby-then.  But there’s something fairly specific she wants to discuss–


“I wonder if what we saw in our second vision—”

Deanna thought this might be the reason for her trepidation. “You feel that what could have transpired in the second vision may affect the first?”

Annie sighed. “You said you watched us pantomime our vision—”

“I heard you speaking, and . . .” Deanna’s right eyebrow shot up as she remembered the last thing that happened before Annie and Kerry came out of their vision. “And saw what you did at the end.”

She didn’t want to keep dancing about: Annie got right to the point. “I believe Kerry and I were going to have have sex.”

Hum.” Deanna rubber her lips. “There are all kinds of sex, and it’s possible—”

Annie shook here head. “The one we’re discussing—the one that Kerry and I will perform on our wedding night—” She looked Deanna in the eyes with an unwavering gaze. “That’s the most intimate, the most important. That’s what I imagine when I think of sex. As for the others . . .” She chuckled. “They’re just fun.”

Whenever Deanna thought Annie couldn’t surprise her, she’d come up with something that would. “I wouldn’t look at it that way—”

“It’s not important: it’s not relevant to what concerns me.” Annie didn’t want to get sidetracked into a discussion on her views on sexual activities and actions. “The second vision felt like Kerry and I were going to do something that would invalidate part of our first vision.” She looked away for a moment and sighed. “Is that possible? Can it happen?”

“That you can Kerry won’t be virgins when you marry?”


Deanna chose her next words carefully, because she didn’t want to make Annie overwrought. “Do you think it’s possible that either Kerry or you will have—sex with someone else before your marriage?”


And, hummmmm.  So now you know:  when Annie thinks of sex, she thinks of it as a particular act, while the rest–eh, it’s for fun!  Okay.

Now, you may says, “She’s only thirteen,” and yes, that’s true, she is.  We’ve already seen, however, that Annie doesn’t appear to have issues with nudity–remember, she’s already discussed dancing around the bonfires with Kerry in front of other people, and told him she’s not that bothered that people will see her–and given this is a girl who’s been thinking about her wedding since like, oh, forever, it doesn’t come as a huge surprise that she’s quite nonchalant about sex.  Annie’s a worldly girl and quite mature for her age, and to try and put her in the same light as other thirteen year old girls would be difficult.

Remember, when it came to actually just sleeping with Kerry in the same bed, she didn’t get all red in the face or jump up and down like she was at a Taylor Swift concert.  She was like, “Kerry, make sure you put your clothes in that dresser.”  Because sharing a bed with the one she loves is natural . . .

Let’s, for a moment, look at Deanna’s reaction as well.  She’s not all shocked, though she is a bit surprised, which is understandable.  Now, imagine if Annie were speaking with Kerry’s mother–ai, yi yi!  Mama Malibey lost her shit over nocturnal emissions and Kerry having the sex talk with a doctor without her permission first, so how is she ever gonna handle Ms. Annie “Those Are Just Fun” Kirilova?  I know exactly when that moment happens, and trust me, it’s gonna be good times all around.

But there is a whole quantum leap of understanding here.  Deanna doesn’t get crazy on Annie:  no, she falls into a frank discussion with the girl.  She treats Annie like an adult, and that may have something to do with her being a coven leader and a counselor, or it could have something to do with maybe Deanna knowing exactly what Annie has done with her magic up to this point.  Or . . . as they were getting ready to return to Europe after the end of the kid’s A Level, Deanna told Erywin Annie and Kerry were still virgins.  As Erywin asked, how did she know?  Probably don’t want to know . . .

But how’s that last for a cliffhanger?  I’m such a bad girl . . .

The Hook at the Core

In yesterday’s post I said this:


In fact the scene is just short of thirty-one hundred words, which makes it a big scene, and it’s something I should finish tonight.  “Should” being the operative word.  I’ve seen that plan fall through more than once, but I’m confident I should finish tonight.  Should.


Yeah, about that . . .

Should came up last night in the form of a long nap, a trip out for dinner, a couple of adult beverages, and just a general feeling that this was a bad week and I needed some relaxation prompted me not to do too much.  I managed a few words, but I really wasn’t into writing.  I mean, it’s been a week of ups and downs, and for the most part I’ve been taking Friday nights off.  And, for the records, I wrote, from Monday to Friday, four thousand, five hundred, and fifty-three words, which is a nice weekly total.  If I throw last Saturday and Sunday into that mix, the total rolls up to almost six thousand, eight hundred words, and that’s a short story a week right there.

I’m not going to complain too much.  I really need to take a break now and then.

However, I’m never quite away from the story, even when I’m not writing.  So while I’m sitting at Red Robins sucking down a Baileys Irish Cream milkshake–and I had two, ’cause it was that sort of week–I thought of the hook for this story, what’s coming for my kids–

It’s change.  More than just being able to do magic, too.

The statement has been made a couple of times that the kids are growing up fast, that they’re more mature, at least in their relationship, that others at the school.  But in the last year both my kids saw a vision of their future, and it was . . . well, it was pretty straight forward about where they were headed.  And now, after yesterday’s post, it looks like they may be out on their own, and perhaps preparing to get their ya-yas out–

"Cassie, I hate being a character in your story and pretending not to know what you know."

“Cassie, I hate being a character in your world and pretending not to know what you’re talking about.”

Sucks, don’t it, Chestnut Girl?

Annie turns thirteen in this novel–pretty soon, actually–and Kerry goes through the same thing once the novel gets on towards the end.  For the first time in this world they’re beginning to realize that they are changing, and that there’s a whole lot about them that is different–

And that’s all a bit scary.

I thought out how this current scene ends, which I sort of knew, but I worked out the detail last night without writing anything down.  That happens today, and then we go on to their Gift testing, which is just another indication they’re different kids–but they already knew that:  they were out on a secret mission four months earlier–as they were reminded by Deanna–and how many others in their level did the same?  Um, let me see:  add nothing to nothing, twice nothing, take away the nothing . . .

You get the idea.  They’re different.  And now they’ll start realizing they’re just like the other kids who are going through the Big P, only none of those kids have see what may be waiting for them when they’re done with school.

There are no big bads stalking my kids in this series of stories, looking to snuff them out of existence so they can take over the world.  The enemy they face is something even worse:  their own lives, and how they’re affected by those around them.

In other words, being teenagers.  Magical teenagers who deal with a lot heavier shit than wondering if they can work up the nerve to ask Jenny out to the dance, or see if Billy wants to go to a movie.  At least in those Normal instances one never had to worry about a monster eating them while they’re out . . .

I promise I’ll write today.  I want to finish this up.  Besides, I need something to do before I go get food and my nails done, and I’ve got a that makeup party tomorrow . . .

The Delicate Problem: The Discussion

I won’t say I was back in the swing of it last night, but I was, sort of.  By sort of, I mean I finished the scene with a fourteen hundred and fifty word run, so after only a handful the night before, I got it going on.  And that was with a lot of running around and stuff, trying to buy things before Snowmageddon descends upon The Burg tonight.

What do we learn in this scene?  Well, we learn that the kids are growing up, and . . . I should just let them talk.


All excerpts, this page, from The Foundation Chronicles, Book One: A For Advanced, copyright 2013, 2014, by Cassidy Frazee)

“To get to that point, however, we need to establish a bit of a baseline. My question to you both is: were you sexually active before these visions occurred?”

Annie and Kerry glanced at each other before turning back to the adults. Annie shook her head and Kerry gave his answer. “No, we never did anything.”

“Well, there are difference kinds of sexual activity, Kerry.” Coraline sat back and crossed her legs, trying to appear less like the school’s medical officer and more like a friend. “For example, at your age, the most common activity are visual fantasies coupled with self pleasuring, because it’s common for you, as puberty kicks in, to begin exploring your body.” She straightened slightly. “Since your visions, has this happened?”


Nurse Coraline, always getting to the bottom of things in a hurry.  Given what she knows, let’s just say she’s not all the surprised by the answer . . .


This time there was an extended pause from both children. Kerry finally nodded slowly. “Yeah.”

“Since last week?” Coraline wasn’t surprised to hear this; given how agitated the vision had made him initially, she felt it was only a matter of time before he . . . did something.

“Yeah. This last Wednesday night—” Annie shot him a quick stare. “—after Advanced Spells.”

“And were you imagining anyone . . .” Coraline didn’t want to name name’s—even though she was confident that Kerry only had one person on his mind. “. . . in this room?”

He nodded to his left. “Yeah.”

“I see.” She turned to the girl on his left. “Annie, I noticed the stare you shot Kerry. Any significance there?”

She took a deep breath. “I did the same thing.”

Coraline’s right eyebrow shot into her hairline. “When?”

Annie slowly turned to her soul mate. “The same night.”

Kerry turned his head towards her. “Really?”

“Yes. I started thinking about our visions and our dreams what we discussed with Professor Arrakis the morning before, and . . .” She slowly shrugged. “I couldn’t help myself.”

“Um . . .” A slight smile played out upon Kerry’s face. “I was thinking the same thing.”


I know someone once said, “Okay, you kids!  Get a room,” and apparently they did–their own!  Before they start getting their raging hormones, um, raging once more, Deanna steps in:


“I’ve noticed this in you both before—” Professor Arrakis’ soft tone interrupted the children’s train of thought before they started wondering about those vision discussions a bit too much. “I’m convinced that if whatever had been blocking Kerry’s knowledge of your shared dreams was absent that first day in Memory’s End, you both would had your shared vision simultaneously.” She looked towards Coraline with a bit of a grin crossing her face. “Though given what happened at the end . . .

“But there was a sameness to your auras that day, and it’s been noticed that you work together so well that more than a few of the instructors feel it’s almost as if you’re working at a level beyond conscious thought.” She slowly leaned back into her chair, much as Coraline had done. “I’m not surprised this happened.”


This is something that’s happened at a number of different points, one of which was Kerry thinking about Annie as he met his family in San Francisco, and Annie waking up at the same time and having her first thoughts be of Kerry.  Are those coincidences?  It would seem Deanna doesn’t think so.

It’s during this discussion we discover that the school has a plan in place to keep unwanted pregnancies down, because kids can get a little . . . crazy at these times, and there’s a lot of hiding places around the school for the crazy to get let out.


Coraline shook her head. “We hand them out every day—” A sly grin played across her face. “There’s enchantments in the food that work on both the girls and boys.”

Annie didn’t seem surprised, but Kerry found it interesting. “On us both?”

“Yes. The enchantments see to it that your little swimmers—” Coraline pointed at Kerry. “—don’t have the energy to break through an egg. Now, there’s always about a one and a half percent change that the they might, so our back up—” She pointed at Annie. “—is to make certain that the egg only has about a one percent chance of finding a resting place in your uterus. It’s also why if you came here with an irregular cycle, you’ll notice that problem doesn’t exist any longer.”

Annie looked off to the side as if she wasn’t concerned. “I never had that problem.”

Kerry nodded in agreement. “I’ve noticed.”

It took Coraline only a moment to put their last statements together and arrive at an answer. “Kerry, are you aware of Annie’s cycle?”

“You mean when she gets her period?” He looked at her as he nodded. “Sure. She told me months ago.”

“I figured it was best he knew.” She shrugged. “Better than being perplexed if I were to turn moody.”

He chucked. “Not that you do—”

“Not with you.”



Being told months ago probably means back in November, after he declared his love, and Annie pulled him aside and said, “Kerry, there are moments when I’ve not a happy witch . . .” and then told him about the Sweet Mystery of Life and how it affects her.  And he doesn’t shy away from letting Nurse Coraline know when Annie gets “her period”:  knowing him, he’s got it marked out on his computer.

This leads Coraline to start talking about what they may want to do if they ever meet up over a summer–not this coming summer, no, I know they won’t, but when they get older–but Annie decides to let something out:


“Glad to hear that—I figured you’d remain monogamous even out of school. That leads to those instances in the future when you may find yourself visiting each other during the summer. In that case you’ll likely want to carry a contraceptive with you—”

“We won’t need it.”

Coraline had heard this line before, but hadn’t thought she’d hear it spoken by Annie. “I realize you’ll do your best not to go that far, but abstinence only goes so far—”

“We won’t do anything.” She shook her head. “I know we won’t because our wedding night was our first time.”

“I’m sorry—” Coraline nearly shook her head. “It was your first time?”


“How do you know?”

“Because I do.” A mask of seriousness descended over Annie’s face. “I felt it, and I know it to be true.”

“I felt it, too.” Kerry leaned forward, keeping his eyes on Coraline. “It was our first time to do—that.”

“How are you so sure?” Coraline didn’t want to doubt them, but she’d been in this position a few too many times in the past, and didn’t want to find these two making a mistake.

“It was like . . . I was nervous, like I knew we were going to do something we’d never done before.”

“Which we hadn’t.” Annie nodded as she reached for Kerry’s hand. “You have to believe us, Nurse Coraline. We didn’t have intercourse before that night.”

Coraline released a breath she’d held for a few seconds. “I don’t want to disagree with you, kids, but I have trouble believing that—”

“I don’t.”

All eyes in the space turned on Deanna as shifted on here chair. “Children, I think we could use a break. Would you mind going down to the first floor break area and wait for me?”


“So, first time, huh kids?”  Being a doctor Coraline–despite the nurse title, she really should get over that, but it’s worked for her for eleven years, why change now?–she’s suspicious when kids tell her, “Nuh, uh, we ain’t gonna do that,” because she’s certain she’ll discover a few months later they did.  And she hates to tell Annie she’s wrong, but when it comes to something like this–again, trust me, Kids, I’m a Doctor.

So why did Deanna chase them out of the room?  Because . . .


Coraline checked that the lift was gone before facing Deanna. “Okay, I know you know something, so gimme.”

“Tuesday morning, when I spoke with them about their visions, they were able to go into great detail than what you gleamed from Kerry that first time.” Deanna stood and shook the wrinkles out of her long skirt. “If what I’ve heard from them is true, they didn’t just have a vision, they were there—”

“That’s impossible. You can’t be inside a vision.”

“No, but they were so immersed in this one, they may as well have been there.” She almost threw up here hands. “If they say they knew they were virgins on their wedding night, then they were. That’s not an opinion—”

“It just means that they believed what they felt in the vision.” Coraline knew she should be arguing these things with the School Seer, but it was one thing to talk about sex in visions, and sexual behavior in their students in the real world. “That doesn’t make it so.”

“I know.” Deanna lay her hands on the back of her chair and leaned in. “There’s something going on with these two at a level either of us has yet to understand. It really goes beyond these instances where they sync up on certain things.”

Coraline sat on the edge of her chair, thinking. “It’s a bit scary, isn’t it?”

Deanna chucked. “More than you can imagine. It’s kept me up thinking about it on a few occasions.”

“Because these things keep happening with them?”

“No.” This time she snorted. “Because I can’t find any reason why they should.”


Is the School Seer not seeing something?  (Say that fast five times.)  Hard to say, but she believes the kids when they tell her they were unsullied that night, and she pulls out the V Word to press home her point.  Coraline’s still having a bit of trouble believing, but at the same time she knows there’s something really off about these two.

And you may find out what that is if I ever get around to writing the next novel about them.  Trust me:  I will spill.

Next up they get to do something that none of the other A Levels have done yet–

Not that.  Get your minds out of the gutter.

Not that. Get your minds out of the gutter.

–and we’ll see them having a discussion about stuff and things in front of an already-famous witch known to millions.

No, really.  It’s true.

Welcome to My Trans World

I’m doing things a little different today, mostly because I promised some people that I was going to answer some questions for them, and this is how I handle that particular request.

As everyone–or just about everyone knows–I’m a transwoman.  I’ve been out online and with friends for about two years now, and in March of this year I began living publicly as a woman.  I started on hormone treatment back in July, and I’ve just passed three months on hormone replacement therapy.

You can imagine that mot many people know the ins and outs of what I’m going through.  It’s rare that people other than close friends know anyone trans, and until recently trans people in media were either played for laughs or we were psychos who usually committed the murder in whatever drama was bring presented.  In other words, the majority of people who we might encounter in real life don’t know much about us.

This all came about a few weeks ago because there were people in one of my Facebook groups asking me about the stuff I do concerning my hormone injections.  I was getting other questions asked as well, and it made me realize that, yes, people are curious, and not in a morbid way:  they really want to know about these things that are happening in my life.

Since yesterday was my shot day I decided to put together a few videos that show the steps I go through for my injections, and also answer a few questions that have come up from time-to-time.  So, if you’ll step this way . . .


This is a video going over the stuff I need for my injections, and I actually take you thought the process.  You never see the injection, and I give you fair warning it’s happening in case you want to look away.  As I say you don’t see anything, so safe all around.

The next two videos answer questions about hormones and injections, and–particularly with the second video–I get into the good and bad parts of going through hormone treatments.  I give warning in the second video that discussions may get a little graphic, but only because I’m talking about naughty bits.

Okay, now we get to the one video that’s probably Not Save For Work or Kids.  I get into a rather frank explanation of physical sexual responses, and how mine are changing.  It’s pretty interesting, but as I said, it’s frank, so let me warn you once more:  Sexy Talk Ahead!  That’s even the name of the video.  Click at your own risk.

And last but not least, a video that answers a question that I’ve been asked more than a few time:  why are you doing this?  For me, the answer isn’t surprising.

There it is:  a part of my world as it currently exists.  I hope it’s informative, and that it leads to more questions in the future that I can take time to answer.  Because, believe me, the more people know about the sort of things that led up to my decision, and the aftermath of said decision, the more the stereotypes can be cast aside.

Like I say in one of the videos, once you get to know me I’m really a nice person–

No different than you.

From the Space and Time to the Sensuality

First there will be some geek talk, and then I’m Bringing Back Sexy in an open and honest way.  If you don’t want the sexy, read the two paragraphs after this one and bid the page Audios!  No harm, no foul, and You Have Been Warned.




For the last few days I’ve found myself in some rather interesting conversations.  Naturally, because of my geeky nature, and those of others I know, we’ve chatting up a lot of Doctor Who this week because it’s time to come up with another Doctor, and for us who are into this sort of thing, we like to talk about it.  It also helps that BBCA has been running shows all week, so that gives us the opportunity to re-watch episodes that we’ve already seen a dozen times, and snark on about what we like and what we don’t like.

"Seriously, she thinks Rose is the best?  I'm gonna have to set this bitch straight, won't I?"

“Seriously, she thinks Rose is the best companion? I’m gonna have to set this bitch straight:  that’s what The Internet is for!”

It’s been a lot of fun chatting this stuff up, particularly since I consider myself to not only be an expert on the show–because I’m old and from Chicago, which was one of the only places that used to air the show in North America in the 1970’s and 1980’s–and because I’ve personally turned a few people onto the show over the years and made them nearly as geeky as me.  Nearly, I say.  That means when the lowdown on trivia is needed, and information is required for aspect that elude others, I’m the Go To Girl for All of Time and Space.  Just call me Idris, because I may as well travel around like that.

It’s a lovely diversion, but it’s not the only one . . .

‘Cause now comes Sexy Time.  You want more?  Come on in.


You ready?  Let’s go, let’s go.


. . .


. . .


. . .


There’s another conversation I’ve been falling into as well, and that’s something we, in the one group I’m in–are calling our “Sex Education Talk.”  Though “sex education is really a bit of a misnomer:  it’s more like the ladies getting together and talking about kinky-ass sex–in some cases actual kinky ass sex.  It’s really been all over the place, particularly in the area of toys, which seem to get used a lot.  I don’t have a problem with toys, or lotions, or wearing articles of clothing to help ramp up the passion and sensuality, or just the out-and-out Let’s Get Down and Bang This Gong feeling that’s gonna hit in any second now.  Particularly this last, because if they’re one thing I love, it’s sexy clothing or night gowns, or even a bit of fetish wear if you can find some that (a) fits and (b) doesn’t feel like you’re encased in something unyielding.  Unless that’s exactly what you want . . .

"Hi, honey.  Guess what's for dinner?  Tacos!  You better say yes if you know what's good for you--"

“Hi, honey. Guess what’s for dinner? Tacos! You better say ‘I’m so hungry’ if you know what’s good for you–“

It’s refreshing to sit and read some of the things my lady friends have experienced, some of the wildness they’ve gotten into, and some of the advice they have for those who may be less experienced in this area.  Because if there’s one thing we’re not open about is sex.  Particularly these days, when you have buttheads running for public offices who say watching women walk around topless will lead to men becoming gay.  Dude:  projection is a total bitch.  You should do something about that.

I haven’t said much about sex in the group simply because most of what I know these days ends up on the printed page.  Sure, I’ve written erotica, most of which is pretty strange, and probably goes well beyond anything my friends would ever consider–unless it is their total kink to turn into a human-like centaur with the fully functioning genitals of both genders, and then have a couple of women get down on them.  Then they’re right up there in my ballpark, ’cause that’s how my mind works.

I am happy to know sexy is alive and well with all kinds of people, but I’m also a little saddened because it’s not something I experience.  Intimacy is something I haven’t known in some time, and likely isn’t in the cards for some time to come.  That’s kinda of choice, and it’s . . . well, complicated, just like time travel.  The reasons for it I won’t divulge, but needless to say depression played a part there, a singular lack of love played another part–and these days I’m so uncomfortable with my body that it’s difficult for me to think about getting intimate with myself.

I’ve had the “sex talk” with my HRT doctor.  We’ve discussed the changes I’m going through, which is really nothing short of Puberty Mk 2.  My doctor is also trans, so she’s been through the same thing I’m going through, and had some advice for “exploring,” if we wish to call it that.  My reactions are decidedly feminine these days; stimulation starts in different places within the body than where they happened before.  There are physical reactions now that were never present in the past, and with continuing hormone treatment those reactions will become more pronounced and intense.

I did reassure my doctor that I wasn’t about to go running around town looking to score because that’s never been my style.  I’ve always been tentative about meeting other people face-to-face, and I’ve always been uncomfortable about my body and putting it on display for others.  Even more so now, because with the physical changes I’m also experiencing the insecurity that comes with those changes.

While I would love to get a sexy night gown and feel good about myself, I’m afraid I wouldn’t, just because it’s hard for me to feel that way.

This is my idea of sexy night gowns, though my sack of potatoes body wouldn't look nearly as nice in this one.

This is my idea of sexy night gowns, though my sack of potatoes body wouldn’t look nearly as nice.  Also, I’ll do without the Hello Kitty slippers as well.

It’s taking time to get to the place where I’ll be as comfortable talking about vibrating rings and beads and schoolgirl outfits as my friends–though I really sort of see myself as the domineering Headmistress in the corset dress wearing her shiny black boots, so watch out, girls.  That doesn’t mean I can’t write about it, and I have developed some good ideas that could turn into short, hot stories.  And once I’m though with this monster of a novel I could just do that–

Or maybe I should jump in and write about a woman who spends so much time in a sexy crocheted body suit that she just can’t find the time to take it off–

Hey, you should hear some of my other ideas.