Breakfast is out of the way, more or less; all that remains is the coffee, and I’m about to refill that as soon as the song I have on finishes. Yes, it’s six fifty-five AM and the morning has already been an hour in the making. That means it’s time for a post. That means it’s time to start writing.
It’s a strange live I’ve chosen for myself. Write a blog post at six-thirty in the morning, then write code all day, then come home and edit twenty pages for a while, then time line out something because I need to know when an event could take place because of something happening to one of the characters–yeah, Research Bitches! Finally, about eight forty I was able to relax and watch How to Train Your Dragon, which is one of my favorite movies, and far superior, in my opinion, to Toy Story 3. Because Viking kid with a dragon.
And then I’m back at it today. Same as it ever was.
Last night, while I was plotting out my time lines and thinking about some of the crap my kids will get into once the future rolls around, I wondered about some of the things that have drawn me to writing, as well as some of the things I’ve written. Like it or not, there’s always a little bit of me in my stories. Maybe it’s just a personal feeling, or perhaps it’s an idea I want to espouse. There is at least one story I’ve written that deals with feelings I have towards other person, and another where I’m more or less returning to some emotions I hadn’t felt in a long time–which is probably one of the reasons why I find myself getting into crying jags now and then.
A lot of writers get caught up in their characters, and I find myself doing the same once in a while. I’ve made no secret of the fact that I’ll often start crying at the end of one of my stories not only because I’ve reached the end and there’s a huge emotional release upon typing out, “The End”, but in a few of my stories something extremely emotional has occurred between my characters, and it’s hard to hold back the feelings. You’re digging deep into something within your own essence to throw into your characters, and when that moment happens, it’s like it happened to you.
I thought out a scene for my kids last night that hit me in ways that make a lot of sense, and at the same time left me feeling like my heart was going to wither. It was a cold scene, but as I thought it out logically, it was the only thing possible for the plot as thought out. It even involved making one of the hardest characters I’ve ever made reach a point where she starts crying–that’s some hard core sad right there.
I talk about these characters as if they are real people sometimes, and while I know they aren’t, they are, in a way, an extension of my own ideas and feelings, so when you give them happy times, you feel the happy times, and when you crap all over their lives and throw them into the Pit of Emotional Hell, then you’re going to experience the fall. And trust me: I will crap all over their lives, because life is hard for Normal people, so just imagine the sort of shit that gets thrown at you when you’re a witch.
What doesn’t kill them makes your characters stronger–but what does it do to me? It lets me tell the tales of their lives–
And by doing so, I bring a little of my life out for all to see.