After such an interesting weekend, here I am back at the start of the last full week of September. Weather’s cooling off, and things are changing. It rained Saturday afternoon, and was cloudy for most of the morning yesterday. Oh, and I managed to write my article yesterday, all twenty-three hundred words of it.
I have things to do this week; it didn’t help that I had some very strange and disturbing dreams last night.
I don’t think there is just one thing that can be said about them, because there didn’t seem to be one thing that stood out and said, “Hey, disturbing.” It just felt bad and depressing, with a lot of running around and being kept in small places, and feeling lonely and isolated. It was very strange, ’cause I don’t think I can point to one thing, it was only feelings and sensations. Oh, and cold: there was that, too. The feeling of cold.
Now, some people might say, “It’s because you went up to That Place on Saturday,” but I don’t believe that. I didn’t feel like that Saturday night, and Sunday I was in a great mood all day. Maybe it was because of watching Breaking Bad, which is down to its last episode, and is about a grim and dark as you’re ever going to find on television. Sure, watching Meth Damon blow away some woman on her front porch after saying, “I want you to know this isn’t personal,” wasn’t a good moment, but the end? Hey, never go on TV and say things that are going to piss off a drug kingpin who feels like getting even. You’re getting tickets to Belize.
I can’t say, because you don’t know how your mind works, and you know even less about your subconscious. I stopped trying to understand my dreams a while back, because trying to see if there was some meaning there was making me a little bonkers. Besides, I’m not good at figuring out stuff like that, so I leave it to others.
But, man, no one wants to get up at two-thirty in the morning feelings like they just ran a race, and knowing that part of the time in your dream you were locked in a cage. Bummer, man, bummer.
However . . . something woke me at five-twenty, and it was one of those, “Am I sleeping or am I awake?” kind of deals. But someone was rubbing up against me, and I know who the person was and what part they were using to do the rubbing. And that was driving me nuts, too, because more and more I’m looking for human contact, and this was definitely the sort of contact that I wouldn’t mind. Yes, you can see where my mind is now . . .
It isn’t bad to have a grim dream now and then. It’s when you have them all the time that it becomes a little hard on your constitution. People want and deserve happiness, and when you don’t get it, you suffer.
Who wants to suffer? Be happy with all you do–even if you’re forced into some bad dreams once in a while.